Help: I like my best friend

bp1989

I'm in desperate need of some advice.

Me and my friend have been best friends for around 3 years now. We became friends in highschool and have been friends since then. But anyway, a good few months back, I started finding him very attractive. As time went on, I began to like him more and more.

Anyway, about 2 months back, we were out in a nightcub and I told him how much I like him. Dutch courage and all that. That night, we ended up making out and going a good bit further. Didn't have sex though.

After that night, things were kind of uncomfortable between us. Being good friends, we see each other at least 2 or 3 days a week (when neither of us had college in the summer, it was like 5 days out of the week). The uncomfortableness did die away, but I still really liked him.

So last night, I wanted to make 100% sure he didn't like me. I asked, he said he would never like me.

That's not all of it though. We recently made friends with a girl in Dublin, and the girl says she likes him, and he says he likes her. When we're together, I hate watching the two of them together. I'm so jealous of the girl because I want my friend to like me, not her.


But anyway, I'm wondering how I can move past this. He says he doesn't like me, so I need to find a way to get over him. We're still great friends, so I still see him all the time. And I don't want to throw that away. I've never felt like this before. I've never liked someone like this before.

How do I get past this?

Karen_*

I think you need to find a new friend. At least for the time being put some distance between you. You don't have to break off contact altogether but your feelings are not going to magically go away while you still see him so much.

Orizio

bp1989 wrote: »

So last night, I wanted to make 100% sure he didn't like me. I asked, he said he would never like me.

Really, these are the lines in your post that matter most. If he was being truthful, and he doesn't have feelings for you beyond your friendship, then what can you do? He doesn't like you the way you like him, and thats it.

Best to try and put some space between him and yourself, and maybe try and find someone else so you can get him out of your head all the quicker.

Redpunto

You need to distance yourself from him for a while,, tell him so and be upfront about why youre not making contact. You wont be able to getover it while hes hooking up with someone else and its not fair on him either. If you can get over it then you can resume your friendship but itd be impossible to have a "normal" friendship when you have feelings like this, itll eat you up inside until you manage to come out the other side. You know now how he feels, get away for a while, start something new and meet new people.

Carsinian Thau

You need distance.
If you continue to see him with such frequency things will never get better.

Commonsense

Forget him
There are better fish out there

Red Alert

I'm in a similar situation (in that I do very much like my best friend), but I'm just wondering if he's ever given any indication he liked you other than the kiss? I can see pretty much from your post that he seems to think (or at least say) that there's no future for the two of you.

bp1989

well not that i can recall...the most he's ever said is that im not ugly lol.

seahorse

This situation will sap every bit of self-esteem you have; my advice is to get out of it.

been in this situation.. distance is the only thing you can do.

bp1989

yeah, thats what im trying at the moment. and i 100% agree about the self-esteem thing.

Time out

At the risk of repeating everyone else, distance is the only thing. It will do your head in over time and really wear you down. If distance is not an option, talk to him about it and if he is a good mate and a good communicator he will help you thru it.

Magown3

It'll have to be cold turkey too if you really want to get through this. No contact whatsoever until you're 100% sure you'd be ok seeing him kissing someone else without feeling jealous...

It sucks big-time and you'll probably have sleepless nights for a while but the longer it goes without contact the better you'll feel

Good luck