Affair

LegacyUser

I met this guy about 1 year ago, we are bot taking partin this course, anyway long story short, we were out a few weeks ago and i told him he looks good and he is very nice and smart, we had a good nite with common friends, he was all over me that nite, but i said no.

My problem is he is married with 2 kids...he is a lovely guy... i just would love to be with him....but I dont want to break him and his wife up... I dont know...has anyone been in this position before?

By the way he is throwing hints at me that he wants to be with me...when he is around me....everyone one of my close friends noticed it!.

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

but I dont want to break him and his wife up.

Keep that thought foremost in your mind and don't go near him.

Karen_*

He's married. Therefore get your own bloke. Unless you like trampling all over other peoples feelings and being second best.

Zulu

Simple enough.

He's married.
He has 2 kids.

Are you so selfish that you want to be the wedge between a wife and a husband; between a mother and a father?

Scoobydoobydoo

Steer clear of him. You might be tempted but it's not worth getting involved, for all the hurt you would be causing to people who don't deserve it. Also, why would you want to be with someone who you know from the start is completely untrustworthy? Find a guy of your own

Solarball10

The fact that you are even posting here shows that you think it's wrong.

Steer well clear, and hard as it may be, cut all contact with this man.

Do you really want to be the "other woman"? The woman who he says he loves, the woman who he tells that he "really, really wants to leave his wife, but it's just not the right time" all the time? The woman who always has to be hidden away and snuck around with? Not to mention the woman that could potentially break up a marriage and cause destruction in his wife and kids' lives.

Think about it....it can only lead to heartbreak.

paperclip2

He is a married man. Nuff said imo.

beth-lou

Please don't do it.
For you.
For his wife.
But most of all for his children.

If he is willing to do this, it doesn't sound like he has good character to be honest. Do yourself a favour and find someone who is free to give you what you deserve.

Recon

Just to give a view from a slightly different angle. Suppose you did get together with him and started a relationship, would you ever be able to trust him going out with his friends when you know how much he respects his wife and children?

Caryatnid

I can't add anything else to this other than I agree with everyone else and I think you know what the right thing to do is anyway.

crackedactor

Nothing new to add - But the devastation affairs cause especially where there are Children involved cannot be over stated - To me he sounds like a very selfish guy.

Wagon

Not a very nice character if he's married with two kids and still putting the moves on you. He might break up his family with this carry on one day, but you shouldn't be the tool he uses. Oh what imagery!

LegacyUser

Thanks a mill I really appreciate it. I know its wrong, and of course I will stay away (and yes I will be totally honest no point in lying, i do find him attractive) but I guess it would hurt so many people, i just dont understand why he would even think about it, he always talks about his family and wife so when he came onto me i was taken aback.

thanks a mill again for yor opinions....my decision is made....will keep away from him

Thank you

MagicMarker

Unregistered wrote: »

..he is a lovely guy...

Or so he would lead you to believe, and it's working!

He's married with children! The man is a low life, don't join him down there.

qt9ukbg60ivjrn

snake in the grass is all he is!

Carter12

Dont do it. Ive been there and it will bring you nothing but hassle and heartache.



If he respects his wife so much that he is going to cheat on her. What respect has he got for you ?

rathbaner

He wants sex from you. That is all. He's thinking with his dick. The minute you sleep with him he will change. Then it'll all be about deceit.

If you want to get laid, find a nice young, single guy and tell him you want an uncomplicated affair. Make up a story.

Redpunto

How can he be a decent nice guy if hes cheating on his wife and two children??

Hes obviously done it before so I seriously doubt hes a guy you would want to be with anyway.

To even consider it makes you almost a bad as him.

Rosso

The statistics are not in your favour. A recent study by the University of Hampshire (if I am not mistaken) shows that only 3% of men who cheat divorces their wife and marry the women they are having an affair with. And of these marriages, 75% of them also end up in divorce.

Forget about it. Move on. Save yourself the heartache.

Madame Razz

OP, think about yourself in few years time, happily married perhaps? two kids? maybe even three?? Your OH goes and joins a class, and this young women is contemplating having an affair with him. You remain in the family home totally oblivious to it all, looking after the kids etc. Your OH climbs into bed with you after a night out, where said young woman had been telling him how hot she thinks he isetc. You sleep peacefully oblivious to it.


Would you like that OP??? This is a scenario you should think about. In fact, thinking about this is exactly what keeps me away from married men, despite how persuasive or attractive they may be.

I was propositioned by a man during the summer, 2 kids, loving wife, good business, nice house etc. With the wife over ten years, healthy relationship blah blah blah. Anyways, he came on super strong one night, started spouting all this ****e about me. I told him not to be such a bloody fool, to cop himself on,and asked him why on earth would he even contemplate doing such a thing. His answer??? He was bored; and He was curious. I think this is the case witha lot of men who dabble in affairs.

So even if imagining yourself as the wife in a situation like this sometime doesn't do it, then don't let a mans boredom and curiousity result in you being the other woman.

Cos you know what happens when curiousity has been satisfied........


You can get your own man OP, forget about this guy. I promise you, a relationship with an unattached man will be infinately more fulfilling.

LegacyUser

It's not that I can't get my own man, it was nev er about that, honestly I was very tempted, like i said i do find him very attractive and never in my wildest dreams did i think about him that way.....well i was never seeing myself with him, just thought he was very attractive.....but as I said in my last post I will defo stay away and maybe I will just use your own words manukahoney.

Thank you again for the advice I really appreciate it, I am so glad I havent done it!

Thank you

seahorse

Unregistered wrote: »

i just dont understand why he would even think about it..

Oh come on! In telling him how attractive etc etc you find him you've been coming onto him just as strong as he's been coming onto you, so you need to stop deluding yourself on that point, and remember that's another woman’s husband you're talking to.

allabouteve58

Steer well clear!!!!!11

iguana

I'm glad you've decided not to let this go any further, unregistered. But I thought I'd publish this link in case you feel your resolve weakening.

Every week in the Guardian magazine they have a column called love by numbers where relationship questions are answered through statistics. And this is the article from last April about whether a man will leave his wife for his lover.

The jist is that in a survey of 4,000 successful business executives 88% were having at least one affair! But only 3% of those who eventually left their wives did so for their mistresses. The failure rate for marriages where a man married his lover was estimated to be nearly 75% as Rosso stated up-thread. Most men have affairs for the sex, not to leave their wives. And if men who have an affair do eventually leave their wives, they actually prefer to start completely afresh - the mistress is ditched and they find someone else entirely to start a relationship with.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/apr/26/familyandrelationships2

Reesy

manukahoney wrote: »

I told him not to be such a bloody fool, to cop himself on,and asked him why on earth would he even contemplate doing such a thing.

Fair play. Me, I think it's sometimes good to tell people they are out of line rather than just ignore them.

(Of course, every circumstance is different...)

dreamer_ire

If he's prepared to cheat on her.... he'll cheat on you too!

[Jackass]

It's sh*t, but thems the rules. Can't go near the married guy.

Anyway, do you really want to be with a guy who is still making himself available when married with 2 kids? Who's to say he wouldn't do it to you.