Feedback on comic Strip

zepp

Hi

On my blog me a some friends have started on a new comic.
http://www.thedossingtimes.com/blog/category/cartoons/
Just wondering what people think of them. Mainly on content.

Any ways we can improve them?

dmcloughney

Hey zepp, quite good jokes which are the vital ingredient in a gag strip like this but I think if you guys fine tuned your art a bit more the punchlines would have more ..........well punch. It looks like you drew it all in microsoft paint which gives the lines a kinda un-flowing effect, I think some smoother lines would work wonders. Also maybe some backgrounds would help frame the scenes a bit more.... i know in the latest one they are meant to be in a queue so maybe a few random people behind and in front of them might set the scene better. As I said the gags are good and ones that people can identify with so I think if you raised the art just a little bit you could be on to a winner.

Fysh

Hi zepp,

I agree with Daragh, the jokes you've got so far are good material (I particularly like the Facebook one) but are slightly let down by the artwork. This isn't a huge problem, but there are a couple of things I would suggest that might help:

1) The colouring could use a bit of tweaking. As it stands the only problem is that the colour leaves a line a pixel or two wide between the linework and the colour, which is very apparent. My suggestion would be to create a new layer for your colour work under your black and white linework. You can then select the areas you want to colour using the magic wand, switch to your colour layer, modify the selection and expand it by say 2 pixels, and then use the fill tool. Doing it this way you'll get a seamless color fill. (That's assuming you're using Photoshop BTW, it'll be similar enough in other software but I'm not sure if the problem happens in quite the same way).

2) This is a bit harder to quantify but I'd suggest using more negative space - preferably by expanding your panel size vertically. Your strips look a bit crowded as they are now to my mind, and expanding the panel size without reducing the artwork size would let you better incorporate the speech bubbles.

As a purely optional thing you may want to consider trying colour gradients for backgrounds, rather than solid fills - that said, it may not work if you're using solid fills for the foreground. It can serve to make your background seem more three-dimensional, but anyway - just a thought for you.

Blisterman

Few (hopefully) constructive critisisms.

I found it a bit hard to follow the dialogue in 'Worth it', as I initially read them left to right.
Quick thing to do would be to mirror it.

The round speech bubbles look a bit cramped. For typed, rather than hand drawn text, I'd go with squarish ones.

I agree with all the previous suggestions mentioned.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

zepp

Hi

Thanks for the feed back very good. We are still learning how to do this art, is not our strong point. But will definitely take these tips on board.
Cheers

Fysh

Hi zepp,

Out of curiosity how are you creating the artwork? Is it an all digital process or are you scanning in pencil/inkwork? Also, what software are you working with?

zepp

Gimp

Sabre0001

Really enjoyed the jokes!

In terms of the style, you don't have to be as artistic as other comics...The range has spread out more - just look at Cyanide & Happiness which has been incredibly successful with an art style that wouldn't exactly be described as cutting edge The jokes make up for it.

The Paint style (that others have referred to) can be your own little style.

Fysh

Ah, grand so. The GIMP can take a bit of getting used to (never did get the hang of it myself, but that's because I started out with Photoshop and then discovered the GimpShop project which suited me better) but it'll do everything you need. It has layer functionality too so with a bit of tinkering you should be able to sort your colouring to not leave those lines at the edges.

If you're running Windows, you could take a look at either Paint.Net or GimpShop. GimpShop is also available on Linux for that matter. I find both Gimpshop and Paint.NET a bit more intuitive that the GIMP proper, not least because everything's kept in one application window.

zepp

Thanks for the tips. We have tried to work a few of them into the latest cartoon.
http://www.thedossingtimes.com/blog/2008/10/28/realism/

Fysh

I think the most recent two benefit from the extra space at the top, it makes it feel less crowded with the dialogue.

I'd suggest keeping the border width between panels consistent with the outer edges, to help emphasize panel transitions - but that's just a personal thing.

What font are you using for text, by the way?

Sabre0001

Love the "Realism" strip

zepp

We are still producing comics.
http://www.thedossingtimes.com/blog/category/cartoons/

Any comments on the way they are looking now.

Fysh

I think the art in the strips is getting slowly better with each one you post. My only quibble with them at the moment is the speech bubbles - the jagged edges clash quite a bit. Unfortunately I can't offer any suggestions on how to get around this, since the only solutions I ever used were either drawing them by hand with a tablet or drawing square balloons. Maybe someone else on here can give you ideas.

The jokes are still solid, which is the main thing though.

Waitsian

I love the From different worlds strip (Nov. 25th) - made me laugh out loud! I read through the rest and they're very good, well done.