sexdoesntlast

LegacyUser

ive been going out with my boyfriend just over 4 months. we get on extremly well havent even had the slightest of disagreements so far.


the problem is sex, it just doesnt last, 5 mins and hes finished. we do lots of foreplay and all that kinda stuff but it doesnt help. i havent said anything to him as to be honest i dont think its fair. im not asking for a 7 hour marathon but would like it to last more then 5 mins, i suppose its really annyoing because its probably the best sex ive ever had. i really dont want this to become an issue but i would like some advice.


im not sure what i can do without saying something. ive had a number of sexual partners and have never had this problem with any of them. one mor ething, we dont get to se each other alot so that mite be a reason?

any advice greatly appreicated

Marksie

There is an inconsistency.

Now you say its the best sex you have ever had..yet you are frustrated it doesn't last.

You say you have loads of foreplay..but that doesn't count as sex?

What are you going to do about it? is he aware?
you haven't talked i see.. so how does he know you need more.

get out of teh western menatlity that A) orgasm is a goal and pentrative sex is the only way to do this.

In your foreplay introduce variant of teh "stop/start" technique ior get hiom to look at that in terms of his own masturbation time.
Also look at PC control from dealying orgasm.
Hell simpoy switch positins to shallower ones and vary.

But firstly

talk.. communicate, be aware

LegacyUser

yes it is the best sex that is why i want it to last longer.
i do not want to insult him or make him feel like he isnt satisfying me and then for him to become paronoid about it. my question is how do i approach this, if i go down on him he'l tell me to stop after a minute because hes going to come, i like giving as well as recieving but it never lasts long

Marksie

You communicate openly and keep it in the "I" perspective. As in I love this I want it to last so muhc longer, or I have read about this thing called semen control it enables guys to ahev multuiples orgasms and teh like..

Or simply I want this to last longer,

If he doesn't know he won't be able to do anything about it.

LegacyUser

OP myself and my partner have the same problem. he doesn't seem to be able to last more than a few minutes with penetration. What we do(which works great for me!) is he spends alot of time pleasuring me and then when I'm sasitified we go ahead!
he gets alot of enjoyment knowing how much he can turn me on and its makes our "sexy time" last alot longer.

We have tried alot of different methods and this was the one that works for us. Hope this helps.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Marksie wrote: »

There is an inconsistency.

Now you say its the best sex you have ever had..yet you are frustrated it doesn't last.

You say you have loads of foreplay..but that doesn't count as sex?

I can underatand this, sometimes people just click and its psychological as well as physical.

Same with the foreplay, a lot of girls just like penetration sex more than the other stuff

What are you going to do about it? is he aware?
you haven't talked i see.. so how does he know you need more.

Well she's asking how to approch him here so obviously she's unsure how to go about it but will be soon. It's certainly a start. Doesn't sound like she's resenting him or anything. And he really should have an idea. I knew when I was a virgin it was poor form from pop culture references alone.

get out of teh western menatlity that A) orgasm is a goal and pentrative sex is the only way to do this.

I don't think she's even demanding an orgasm, just wants it to last long enoguh for her to enjoy herself more. The stop start thing you mentioned is a good idea, what's the PC control?

Sometimes when I'm having sex i feel I'm going to cum in the first 2 minutes or so. I usually pull out early enough and concentrate on using the muscles down there to stop it going through. Sometimes have to do it 2 or three times initially. After that I'll be able to go for much longer. In fact a downside is it then usually takes ages to cum. Though that's much better than finishing really quickly.

Next time it happens say you love having sex but you really wish it could go on longer. I'm 99% sure he already knows it's not on. Once you say this and he realises it's not an assualt on his sexual prowness it should help you bond and be able to discuss the whole thing more openly.

Nevyn

Well why not get him to cum from a blow job and then when he has recovered start the foreplay for yourself and then when he is ready/able move on to penatrive sex.
Changing positions can be very helpful to delay climax or have you tought about changing to a different type of condom or using condoms if you are currently not.

Marksie

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

what's the PC control?

Sometimes when I'm having sex i feel I'm going to cum in the first 2 minutes or so. I usually pull out early enough and concentrate on using the muscles down there to stop it going through. Sometimes have to do it 2 or three times initially. After that I'll be able to go for much longer. In fact a downside is it then usually takes ages to cum. Though that's much better than finishing really quickly.

PC muscle: pubococcygeus muscle.
Its the "muscles down there"
You can locate them by the next time you pee, stop the flow, thats the grouping.

also known as kegel exercises (not aimed at you BoS ..you seem to have found em. though next time slow the rhythym or keep it slow initially but don't withdraw try relaxing, and deep breathing clenching in the inbreath and relaxing on the outbreath)

simple one second squeezes 30 of them daily will start conditioning it. It can be built up further after that if desired.

LegacyUser

thanks for all your advice.
i have tried making him cum by giving a blow job and then initating sex again but he's usually too sensitive, dont think his sex drive is as large ass mine.
i would just hate for him to think that i dont enjoy having sex with him or that all i care about is sex cause it couldnt be futher from the truth,and because we're not goin out too long i donno if its too early to say anything. we only started having sex over a month ago.

lads if a girl was to approach this in a very sensitive manner would you still not feel slightly conscious or paronid that your not pleasuring her??(apologise for spelling)

Carrigart Exile

doesntlast wrote: »

thanks for all your advice.
i have tried making him cum by giving a blow job and then initating sex again but he's usually too sensitive, dont think his sex drive is as large ass mine.
i would just hate for him to think that i dont enjoy having sex with him or that all i care about is sex cause it couldnt be futher from the truth,and because we're not goin out too long i donno if its too early to say anything. we only started having sex over a month ago.

lads if a girl was to approach this in a very sensitive manner would you still not feel slightly conscious or paronid that your not pleasuring her??(apologise for spelling)

approach it differently, tell him penetrative sex drives you wild and you want him to tease you by witholding it till the every last. Alternatively, ask him to wear a ribbed condom for added pleasure for you, that should help dull the sensations

Swampy

Just tell him you want it to last longer. There's places on the penis you can press that can delay the ejaculation. In fairness, he should be trying to give you a bit more time. Let him know and he should make an effort.

askU

doesntlast wrote: »

lads if a girl was to approach this in a very sensitive manner would you still not feel slightly conscious or paronid that your not pleasuring her??(apologise for spelling)

I'd prefer if she approached me!

Marksie

Swampy wrote: »

Just tell him you want it to last longer. There's places on the penis you can press that can delay the ejaculation. In fairness, he should be trying to give you a bit more time. Let him know and he should make an effort.

In betwwen the perenieum and anus is a spot called "the golden spot" (so named i belive after an empeeror who paid gold to the person who found it )
Press on that and it will delay ejaculation