He can't cum

LegacyUser

guy ive been with for a while doesnt seem to be able to cum. he says hes never cum with a condom. he keeps gettin real frustrated when were having sex and insisting we continue when i want to stop in case he might cum. he keeps going at it even when im dry and its very painful.

he doesnt like oral sex and says hand jobs are for hookers. he says hes satisfying me so i should do it to him but i cant unless i dont use a condom which i dont want. he says we can take std tests together but i juts dont want to do it.

hes not the type of guy i could keep a relationship up with if we werent having sex. he says if i wont have sex with him then were just friends and hell treat me like his other friends meet me in a group not do anything nice for me like collect me or drop me home and hell date and have sex with others.

what should i do

dudara

hecantcum wrote: »

hes not the type of guy i could keep a relationship up with if we werent having sex.

I think that this statement says it all. Neither of you seem to have any respect for the other.

By the way, nowhere in your post do you mention if you actually care for or have any affection for this guy. Do you?

Glittergirl

You say "he's not the kind of guy that you would have a relationship ship with, if it wasn't for the sex". Now that's one thing, but it doesn't sound like the sex is all that good?? Why the hell are you still with this guy?

He sounds like a controlling freak and I'd send him packing!

Good Luck!

hussey

hecantcum wrote: »

guy ive been with for a while doesnt seem to be able to cum. he says hes never cum with a condom. he keeps gettin real frustrated when were having sex and insisting we continue when i want to stop in case he might cum. he keeps going at it even when im dry and its very painful.

he doesnt like oral sex and says hand jobs are for hookers. he says hes satisfying me so i should do it to him but i cant unless i dont use a condom which i dont want. he says we can take std tests together but i juts dont want to do it.

hes not the type of guy i could keep a relationship up with if we werent having sex. he says if i wont have sex with him then were just friends and hell treat me like his other friends meet me in a group not do anything nice for me like collect me or drop me home and hell date and have sex with others.

what should i do

Read those two lines in black ... if you want a f*ck buddy then you got it
but he if you don't then dump him, as he treats you like crap

Tar.Aldarion

don't go out with each other. He sounds like weird and quite uncaring. He does not stop if it hurts you, how could he care for you? You conversely don't seem to care for him. Why be together?

Madame Razz

Is this post for real???

If yes, then I would say you need to leave this man off for himself and find somebody better. By the sounds of things I think you could do better.

MightyCelestial

I agree with everything posted so far.
Judging by the status & terms of this type of relationship,
the only healthy option is for each person involved to just move on.
If he can't cum, then he can go.

TheDriver

MightyCelestial wrote: »

If he can't cum, then he can go.

Haha, nice one! Seriously OP, if you want sex, you got it. But there are probably a lot more caring FBs out there. He sounds like a dick, ditch him

melekalikimaka

i thin you need to kinda grow up and bit before taking this 'relationship' anywhere, once ya realise the guy is a fool(insert mr t voice). ditch him and decide what your looking for, cos i can't imagine what you have is something you want

Wibbs

So let's recap...He's crap in bed yet you're only with him for the bedtime? Ehhh. When you really look at it it probably makes as much sense to you as it does to us.

AngryBadger

dudara wrote: »

I think that this statement says it all. Neither of you seem to have any respect for the other.

By the way, nowhere in your post do you mention if you actually care for or have any affection for this guy. Do you?

+1

Marksie

hecantcum wrote: »

guy ive been with for a while doesnt seem to be able to cum. he says hes never cum with a condom. he keeps gettin real frustrated when were having sex and insisting we continue when i want to stop in case he might cum. he keeps going at it even when im dry and its very painful.

he doesnt like oral sex and says hand jobs are for hookers. he says hes satisfying me so i should do it to him but i cant unless i dont use a condom which i dont want. he says we can take std tests together but i juts dont want to do it.

hes not the type of guy i could keep a relationship up with if we werent having sex. he says if i wont have sex with him then were just friends and hell treat me like his other friends meet me in a group not do anything nice for me like collect me or drop me home and hell date and have sex with others.

what should i do

This post is riddled with selfishness, inconsideration, emotional blackmail and someone who simply doesnt have a clue.

My normal advice would be to talk about orgasm and ejaculation and relaxing, opening, trust etc.

But this is one time where i am going to be blunt:

Kick to touch and get the hell out of there.

To be even blunter: you are only with him for sex and he is Fckuing sh**e at it.
You are being used my dear, get your self esteem together and walk on him. Find someone who ghas at leat the vague inklings of what sex is about and let him take his frustration out on his right hand .

Dragan

You should tell him to go and **** himself.

Seriously.

jessbeth

If he can't cum then it's his pyschological issue and not yours. It sounds to be honest like the sex is the only important thing for both of you in this relationship so I would suggest that if you want to stay together for a sexual relationship then go get the testing done so that you'll both have piece of mind or else just call it quits and find somebody who's not just looking for a just a pure physical relationship. Find somebody who actually likes and respects you.

A Primal Nut

Wibbs wrote: »

So let's recap...He's crap in bed yet you're only with him for the bedtime? Ehhh. When you really look at it it probably makes as much sense to you as it does to us.

Hmm, this is what everyone seems to read by it and i did too the first time i read that sentence. But judging my the sentences that follow, I'm guessing what she means is that he won't go out with her if they are not having sex. Its the only way this post makes any sense. OP, that is probably the attitude most guys would have, and you also can't blame him for his physical problem. So I wouldn't necessarily critisize him, however you have no obligation to stay with someone your unhappy with; im sure you can find other people to give you lifts in and out of town, and plenty of other fellas will do all those nice things without you having to put up with the pain. Then again, maybe you really like him, in which case I dunno what to say. Only you can decide if its worth putting up with **** sex for a lift into town now and again.


P.S. what kinda guy doesn't like oral sex?

unhappycamper

If a man cannot come because he is nervous well that is one thing, he needs to relax. However, he can't just push it into you until he does, that is quite weird, it is his problem not yours. I never new a guy who didn't enjoy a toss so the fact that he said tossing is only for hookers is actually quite offensive. You may also want to consider that if he is unable to come he may not find you attractive and may be just using you. Does he take coke and pills often? He sounds like a selfish bloke in all honesty and you deserve to have a man that can cum because when guys come and they are looking you in the eyes or face I can only imagine that it is very flattering for a woman. Dump him.

cps_goodbuy

does he just want sex without condoms

it all sounds llike something I'd avoid entirely in my opinion, him, sex without enjoying it, and well +1 to all other comments thus far

Bottle_of_Smoke

How many people would stay in a relationship with no sex? I don't really have a problem with his stance there if there was no good reason.

However the continuing when you're dry and sore is very worrying, and kind of suggests you're not attracted to him. It's also generally very unenjoyable for us if a girl is dry.

Also why won't you go for tests with him? That's gonna come up with a guy sooner or later. More and more guys are seeing it as a formality these days.

evil-monkey

the whole "even when i'm dry" thing freaked me out. dunno why.

but on a serious note - ditch him!! he sounds like a doosh

LegacyUser

sorry i think i explained it badly.thanks for the answers so far.we are in a relationship,mostly have lot of fun and i really like him.if we stopped having sex he would leave me he says that where all this stuff about us becoming friends and him going with other women for sex came from.when were having sex and he cant cum it just goes on and on with him just doing the thrusting and i get turned off and become dry,wouldnt have been that way at the start.he wants to have sex without condoms.i got tested and dont mind being tested again but i feel hes using this to make me have sex without condom and i dont want it.i am attracted to him and i enjoy stuff with him but when hes just going at it endlessly hard to get to cum when he cant it hurts a bit.we tried other condoms they didnt make a difference he doesnt really like me doing much in sex he likes doing what he wants and doesnt like much position change.i guess its cos hes insecure about not coming?

KrazeeEyezKilla

hecantcum wrote: »

hes not the type of guy i could keep a relationship up with if we werent having sex. he says if i wont have sex with him then were just friends and hell treat me like his other friends meet me in a group not do anything nice for me like collect me or drop me home and hell date and have sex with others.

I would be surprised if a man like that could just find another woman that easily.

ChickCool

i suspect the op is just a bit young and naive and hasn't used the best grammar to describe her situation. I think we're all guilty of explaining things in a bad way sometimes. I think the op means she is in a relationship with this guy and the sex isnt working out as he seems to be quite controlling of her body when they're in bed. It sounds like he tells her that hes leaving he rif they stop having sex. My advice would be if someone is this disrespectful towards you in bed then they will be that disrespectful outside of bed too, in all honesty-leave!

Nevyn

There is no way I would let anyone keep banging away thrusting inside me if it was sore and uncomfortable. You don't have to put up with it.
The very least thing he should do is be concerned for you and use lube you are not a sex toy or a sex doll. If you are both not mature enough to talk about sex then you should not be having sex.

Heckler

Guy sounds like a complete dick. Any man who says handjobs are for hookers is a douche. If I went near my girlfriend when she was dry and not enjoying whatever was going on she wouldn't be long telling me and I wouldn't be long stopping whatever. This idea of letting him carry on when it causes you pain or discomfort "just in case he might cum" ???? Kick the bollocks to touch. You can do better.

At the very most you could suggest lube but if he's such a langer at this stage I'd cut my losses and be done with the loser. Just my 2c. Best of luck with it. Just remember don't ever put up with something you don't like or are uncomfortable with just to please someone. I'm talking sexually, not about your friends apple pie that you are too polite to say tastes like crap.

Swampy

Dump him. He sounds like a complete tool. He obviously has issues. It also sounds like hes treating you badly.

Bijoux

+1 on everything so far.

This is the long and short of it, OP: He evidently has no concern about your sexual needs (ie, he keeps going when it hurts, plus the no condom issue), he doesnt seem to try and meet your needs at all, and yes, although he may be frustrated because he has difficulty coming, his sole goal with sex seems to be to overcome this problem, and not to enjoy it, or to give you pleasure from it.
Even if he has difficulty, it doesnt give him the right to use that as an excuse for being so selfish.

Overall, he seems to be totally selfish, and doesn't seem to value your relationship much if he's willing to end it if you don't conform to what he wants.
If I were you, I would get out of there as quick as possible.

mayordenis

hecantcum wrote: »

sorry i think i explained it badly.thanks for the answers so far.we are in a relationship,mostly have lot of fun and i really like him.if we stopped having sex he would leave me he says that where all this stuff about us becoming friends and him going with other women for sex came from.when were having sex and he cant cum it just goes on and on with him just doing the thrusting and i get turned off and become dry,wouldnt have been that way at the start.he wants to have sex without condoms.i got tested and dont mind being tested again but i feel hes using this to make me have sex without condom and i dont want it.i am attracted to him and i enjoy stuff with him but when hes just going at it endlessly hard to get to cum when he cant it hurts a bit.we tried other condoms they didnt make a difference he doesnt really like me doing much in sex he likes doing what he wants and doesnt like much position change.i guess its cos hes insecure about not coming?

if you take away sex and he would leave you then he's not worth your time, bigger and better things move on

pretty-in-pink

OP, kick him to the kerb. It sounds like he just wants a quick fck where he takes no contraceptive resonsibility. He "can't cum" with a condom. Please. That reeks of total BS.

As to the issue of him keeping at it when you're dry, honey, its not worth it. You could hurt yourself. You don't want that to happen. Especially not for someone who sounds like a total jerk.

If he'll dump you over sex, but he is not willing to find an alternitive to what you have at present, then this is clearly just a power thing to him. I know it sounds crude, but he sounds like the type of guy who wants to bang as many people as he can, so he can act like mr lover lover with his friends.

Leave him, before he does irreperable damage. You are not in anything like a healthy relationship, and nobody deserves that. Let ole blue balls to his own devices, and enjoy yourself. He is not even treatling you like a friend hon, he is acting like a callous, arrogant a$$hole, with no bedroom charm, and even less human charm. You can do better- believe that. Stay with this guy, and eventually his bullying will overpower you, and you'll be oon the slippy slope to subservient, downtrodden woman. One of you needs the balls to walk away from this negative relationship, and since his are "out of order", it may as well be you.

LouOB

Jaysus it sounds like you are lonely - this fella is not worth your time. Doesnt even sound like you are getting anything out of the 'relationship' or encounters.

Find someone who will light that fire under you

Throw that fella back - as he is no keeper

AthAnRi

If the only reason your with someone is to have sex then you need to take a good long look at the situation.

The question is Is he the guy you want to marry? If not then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. I live by one very simple rule. Never sleep with someone you wouldn't marry.

Caryatnid

hecantcum wrote: »

what should i do

Get rid of him.

The only thing I think he is right about is going for a check - everyone should be doing that anyway regardless of what sort of contraception they are using (although I know he's doing that to convince you not to use a condom).