Trouble in Bed

LegacyUser

HI all, long time poster and in a great relationship but have a problem which is getting me down big time. Basically I am in my very early 30's and happy and healthy. Not the most experienced in bed (in fact, very inexperienced) but willing to try anything and very open minded etc.
Problem is that I ejaculate very quickly (say 10sec) and then sometimes i can be hard straight away and get going and maybe last an hour while other times it won't get hard again. This as you can imagine is very frustrating and getting me down. Naturally, girlfriend is very understanding but scared all the same that this can't go on and gets me frustrated as I don't know what to do. I don't mind it finishing quickly as I can get going quickly again but its terrible when it won't. Anyone have any experiences or know what I might be able to do?
(I have found breathing through my nose and maybe thinking of other things when excitement is getting too much but theres nothing stopping the initial coming, it only helps in the second coming (excuse the pun).

LegacyUser

different positions works for me.. but you're gonna have to find a way to not worry about it (if the blood is flowing around your brain, then its not flowing downstairs).. also delay penetration for as long as you can the 2nd time

LegacyUser

you could try using 'performance' condoms perhaps?

LegacyUser

I have tried delay condoms etc but they don't make any difference and different positions has no effect 1st time around, still very very quick! My main one is trying to get hard enough for a second run but its getting more worrying which of course doesn't help the situation! Of course in my own mind, i think everyone else is perfect and doing everything great and I'm the only one with problems!!

Bottle_of_Smoke

would scoring an own goal beforhand help at all, i know not ideal butneither are durex performa

Marksie

If your coming in ten seconds various postions at this point in time will not be of use. Though altering depth of penetration and speed may help.

i also saw that you say you dont mind coming when you can doo it again... that tends to deplete energy (in my path teachings). It also takes longer, as you grow older, to get a second erection... ?the refraction time?

My suggestion is to look at the "stop/ start" technique for increasing the length of time you take to ejaculate.
Also look at PC muscle control as a means of controlling ejaculation,. but start slowly in this technique you don't want to strain a muscle)

Also, think about what happens when you orgasm/ejaculate. (you tense and your breathing shallows)
Keeping your body relaxed and breathing deeply will help... (though i notice you have picked that one up already)
Combine all three effectively and you can both seperate orgasm from ejaculation, strengthen your erection and the length of time you can have pentrative sex

That will take some time..but sex isnt about penetration you know.... have nights where you have no penetration and just use all the other methods... good for her, she can have as many as she likes and will be less scared, good for you, you knkow what turns her on.
good for you she knows what turns you on and you can practice stop starting together and have a great time doing it.
It will also foster communication and openness if she does it to you and you tell her to stop and do this and that and vice versa.