Stuck In A Rut (Bit Long Sorry)

LegacyUser

I'm 27 married with two gorgeous girls (age 6 years and 18 months). I've been with my husband for nine years married one year. For the past couple of months i have been feeling down i feel as though i am stuck in a major rut, i get up in the morning get kids ready for school and childminder go to work come home cook and clean kids off to bed, get washed and off to bed and then up again the next day for the very same thing. Don't get me wrong i love my girls and husband dearly but i feel like i am on edge lately it only takes the simplest of things to set me off crying. I seem to have changed overnight from a girl who was happy go lucky to one who is the majority of the time in bad humor or someone who just wants to shut themselves away and be left alone. I have not said any of this to my husband as i just don't think i can explain it and i don't think he would understand.

I don't have any really good friends outside my family. I have two fantastic sisters but there is only so much i can talk to them about as i don't want to burden them with my problems.

The job i am in is not very secure at the moment i am here 2.5 years and i would say it is only a matter of months before the company closes its doors. Myself and my colleagues are in a job where there is no work to do. I think this is not helping things as there is the added worry of what if i do lose my job how will we manage with bills.

I just wish i could figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Its not fair to my husband or girls being miserable all the time....

Karen_*

That wasn't very long at all OP!

I could be wrong here but I picked up on you saying you have nothing to do in work. This can affect all areas of your life. I worked in a job like that myself and it affected me very badly. I was tearful, overtired but could not sleep. Stressed from having nothing to do if you can beleive that! And I also felt unable to do anything at all after a while, even outside work. I felt so useless. But I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought I was just very depressed.

This might not be the case at all with you and I'm really just sharing my own experience in the hopes that it might sound familiar and might hold the key to your own problem. Maybe look for another job?

Marksie

Stress and worry manifest in many ways OP: The worry about losing your job and the bills that have to be paid must be a huge one.

But one thing that will help is to tell your husband, you are a partnership and he will hopefully be supportive and understanding.

Slaygal

It sounds to me like the stress of possibly losing your job is preying on your mind. It's only natural if you're feeling stressed or worried about one area of your life that it spills over into the other areas. Marksie is right talk to your husband and your sisters. A lot of the time if you talk about how you're feeling and get it all out in the open you find that you feel a lot better.
Could you husband mind your girls for a couple of hours one evening a week so you could go to an evening class or a club? I'm suggesting this for two reasons, one it would give your some 'Me time' and secondly you could meet new people. I hope this helps.

Ann22

It sounds as if the main bulk of the childcare, cooking and cleaning is being left to you. You must be exhausted holding down a fulltime job too! I hope your husband is pulling his weight. It's fine doing everything around the house when you're at home all day but you're not - it's a huge workload and it's not fair that it's being left to you. It leaves you no time for yourself at all, no time to wind down, even to read for a while..no wonder you're depressed.

LegacyUser

Thank you for your kind words.

My husband does what he can to help out with kids and housework. It just feels like being on a hamster wheel at the moment same thing day in day out.