what is his motive?

eimsRV

I'm not sure if this is a PI or not, but its something that has been troubling me over the weekend.

There is a guy who I dated (maybe 8/9 times) about 18 months ago. Anyway things with us didn't work out (according to him he normally dates older women who already have kids. I am 4 yrs older then him so I'm not sure how old he goes for!).
I havent seen him since this time, but we have kept in contact by text now and then.

So roll on 18 months, I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant and in a relationship at the moment, albeit a bit troubled at the moment. We are working at getting our relationship sorted out, we are both thrilled that the baby is on its way and I've no interest in anyone else, especially this other guy.

Friday night this other guy texted me, he came to know I was pregnant a few weeks back through a mutual friend. He was asking how pregnancy was, how I am etc. Not sure if it was my hormones but I explained that things in relationship are a bit rocky but thankfully pregnancy going well. So he goes on to say that if there was anything he could do to help to let him know, and maybe he could babysit the baby so I could go out sometime. Then he said I'm his perfect woman!!!

Ok so I'm freaked at what he said. I'd suddenly his perfect woman cos I've a baby on the way, and for the life of me I can't understand a guys motive to want get involved with a woman who has a child with someone else over wanting to start a relationship with someone and maybe have his own child one day. He is in his mid 20s and as far as i know able to have kids.

Maybe it is innocent and he is just broody. But there is no way I'll be wanting him around my child, and thankfully there is no reason for him to be.

Now as i mentioned earlier we have a mutual friend who has 2 children and I'm just wondering should I mention my conversation with him to her? I dont want to be going around casting aspersions on people but I'm fairly suspicious of his motive.

Anyone have any advice for what I should do?

shellyboo

Don't text him, don't interact with him, cut him out of your life. He sounds utterly toxic. He habitually dates women with kids and then leaves them? Sounds like a total player to me, landing in on an older woman then probably using the "I'm not ready for a family" excuse to piss off when he gets bored.

In fact, he sounds EXACTLY like a friend of mine who does be up to the same ****e. Stay as far away from this guy as possible, he sounds like bad news to me.

Burial

Tell him what he said wasn't approriate and you have no interest in him. It seems to me, that he's only looking for the ride. Tbh, I wouldn't tell the mutual friend. There's not much point, and if you do, it'll probably just start rumours about him.

ChickCool

ugh i know a guy who has done this a few times.he says women with kids are definiates for sex and pretending to be daddy for a while makes them dependant on him.i dont get his deal really but the guy himself is a bit of a nutter and i would tell anyone to stay well clear,i cant stand him myself when he ends up out with us he is just so odd its very uncomfortable and hard to describe.anyone in this situation-stay away

BAM!

Run....FAST!!!

No seriously, just ignore him. He obviously has issues. Try and work things out with your botfriend if that's what you want and definately don't text this guy back.

Wagon

That's the strangest thing I've ever heard. Don't talk to him any more. Bloody gob****e so he is.

LegacyUser

That is very strange.

I know of know guy who would offer to babysit for someone else like that.

I have nephews and nieces and I would offer to look after my God Daughter but never for my other nephews and nieces and I wouldn't think it appropriate to do offer for my friends. And they would never ask me.

If I was asked I'd do it if I was free.

This may be a total over reaction here but is it safe for this guy to be around any kids, if you get me?

dudara

Let's be careful what we say here.

dudara

dresden8

While we have to be careful I got that sub-text too.

Wants to baby-sit?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Maybe he's like Hugh Grant's character in about a boy. Just don't respond. Discuss what you told us with your mutual friend.

LegacyUser

Has nobody else not got the same vibe as me? Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic.....

But wanting to Babysit children? as in have time ALONE with them? One thing popped into my head...

I think that is what the OP is on about. Might not be any harm discussing it with your friend or bringing it up casually depending on how well you know her...