"Coming out" with an illness

taram

If you have a long term illness, how do you tell your family/friends/work mates? Do you tell them, or do you just brush it off?

I have PCOS and while I'm getting used to my glucophage I get blood sugar lows and become dizzy/cranky. My skin is also awful at the moment due to stress (it had cleared up) and my hair is thinning badly. The girls at work are well meaning but nosy and they often comment on my appearance/food I bring to work (low GI and vegetarian which is bizzare in a place that runs on KFC and McD's) I often vomit at work too, but it's hard to have to explain to well meaning collegues that no, I'm not pregnant/contagious/bulimic twice a week. My parents seem to think it's all "in my head" and continue to offer me a glass of wine at night, or they finish my porridge or sugar free yoghurts and wonder why I won't just have some cornflakes for breakfast.

Sorry for the rant, but I feel alone with this disease, just wish my ovaries would feck off and leave the rest of me alone sometimes!

You should definitely tell your family. I don't see a reason not to be open about PCOS.
Workmates that comment on your appearance negatively wouldn't be kind of people I would feel needed to understand your illness though.

Dizzyblonde

I suffer with long-term dizziness and I've found it best to tell people about it on a need-to-know basis. Obviously your family and closest friends need to know because these are the people whose support you need when you're unwell.
Workmates and acquaintances probably don't need to know, or at least don't need details. I've found that when I used to tell people about it I became 'the woman with dizziness' and was asked all sorts of silly questions such as 'is it anxiety?'. Also, I don't want it to be the thing I'm defined by. If people find out about it you can always tell them politely that you don't like to discuss it.
I would advise you to find an online support group for people with your condition because it makes a huge difference. Peer support is crucial for anyone with a long-term condition.
Also, printing out information on your condition, particularly about the impact it has on the sufferer, is a good idea. You can show it to your family to help them understand .

tbh

I've diabeties and it's hard to tell people for the simple reasons that

a: It's hard to drop it into a conversation. But if you wait for an opportunity to drop it in "naturally" you could know someone two years and they still don't know, and then when you tell them they say "Oh God, why didn't you tell me" and you're all "well, the opportunity never arose" and it becomes this big "thing".

b: Sometimes when you do tell people, you're telling them because, y'know, it'd be useful for them to know - like say the people you share an office with at work. But then they react saying things like "Oh God I'm so sorry" or whatever, and you're saying "ah no - it's not like that" and it just becomes akward.

it's hard

Phototoxin

My friends know but I only tell them if its important to know. The random street person doesnt need to know!

robinph

I'd only tell people that need to know, but often that might not even be until I know them better anyway.

lucernarian

Talking about diabetes isn't an issue for me whatsoever! In the course of conversation, people would ask why I'm carrying around a small bag or eating a tablet or two of glucose. In particular, if there's food on the cards with a group of people and using toilets and the like aren't an option, I'd ask those nearby if they had any issues with me giving a small injection. This is particularly a problem when I'm in college with the usual bad eating habits going on.

That used to be somewhat awkward for me so I'd try to take a sneaky one. But around 4 months after I was diagnosed, I took an injection where I didn't know someone had a problem with needles. He inadvertently saw me and fainted quite badly (more like a fit than weakness or swooning). After that I nearly never take that chance around strangers.

star-pants

Suppose it depends on if you're comfortable with the illness yourself, and trust the people around you. To me anyone and everyone can know about it if they ask, to me it's part of life, but I don't go round telling everyone because I don't want to.
I've told family and close friends (some would know more extent of it than others) but I do only confide in those I really trust (when I'm feeling bad/in pain etc).

You get the usual 'why aren't you drinking?' 'I'm on meds' 'oh anti biotics?' and I have to go 'no but still can't drink on these ones' type thing, I don't tell em what I'm on or why. Or if I have wrist splints on you tend to get a lot of questions 'god what did you do' and you just go 'ah... just me, dodgy joints you know'

I think you work your way around it, tell people on a need to know basis, in the sense of how much you tell them. Wouldn't bother me to tell the world 'Hey I've an illness' but I wouldn't go into detail with people. However with your family you should let them know - because they probably just think you're going through a phase of some odd diet etc, you need to let them know why you're acting / eating etc how you are. They'll be understanding and hopefully you won't feel as alone.
I didn't want to tell friends about certain stuff, but I have told a couple now and I find it good that I can talk to them about it sometimes.