Have I A Right To Be Angry????

LegacyUser

Kinda a long one sorry.

With A Girl For 8 Years or So Have A kId, Broke Up Last Year Not Bad, Just mutual.

Anyhoo, I do everything for them possible, She works a lot at nights so i spend most my time minding my child at her place, otherwise i'll end up where i only get too see the lil one on weekends which i don't want.

Most nights i'm there i'm on the tiny couch. Get sore after a while so sometimes i jump into her bed, She not being there obviously or that would be wierd. She gave out to me saying seeing me in the bed is confusing for the kid and she might think we are back together and what not. Fair enough i dont need the abuse.

Last night she goes to work. Comes back at 8 (says she was in work till 8 which is BS,not my business though)in the morning with two friends about 10 years older than her at least who are a married couple. They wake me up on the couch, And wake the kid up being noisey. Anyway she gives the kid break'y and dissapears. I go upsatirs to see the husband guy in the middle of her bed with his wife on one side and the ex on the other.

I go in and tell her to get out, And she sees no problem with this when i say it too her,because thier friends. Which made me feel like a piece of ****

Now i know they werent doing anything (if they were, my golf club would a been very happy) but the fact of telling me to not sleep in the bed as it's confusing for my child and getting a ton of abuse, But it's ok for her too be sleeping with a married couple in her bed and thats complety normal for her and the kid.

What i want to know is do i have a right to be peed off with this situation or not, Before i go and give her a piece of my mind..

Any response is much appreciated

Chinafoot

Unregistered wrote: »

Kinda a long one sorry.

With A Girl For 8 Years or So Have A kId, Broke Up Last Year Not Bad, Just mutual.

Anyhoo, I do everything for them possible, She works a lot at nights so i spend most my time minding my child at her place, otherwise i'll end up where i only get too see the lil one on weekends which i don't want.

Why can't you take her at your place?

Unregistered wrote: »

Most nights i'm there i'm on the tiny couch. Get sore after a while so sometimes i jump into her bed, She not being there obviously or that would be wierd. She gave out to me saying seeing me in the bed is confusing for the kid and she might think we are back together and what not. Fair enough i dont need the abuse.

She has a very valid point there.

Unregistered wrote: »

Last night she goes to work. Comes back at 8 (says she was in work till 8 which is BS,not my business though)in the morning with two friends about 10 years older than her at least who are a married couple. They wake me up on the couch, And wake the kid up being noisey. Anyway she gives the kid break'y and dissapears. I go upsatirs to see the husband guy in the middle of her bed with his wife on one side and the ex on the other.

A bit odd but I don't see any major problem. (also, I don't see the relevance of their age) From the sounds of it, it isn't a regular occurrance where as you see your son regularly in your ex's house. A once off of Mammy's friends sleeping in the bed isn't really the same as Daddy sleeping in Mammy's bed every time he's over.

Unregistered wrote: »

I go in and tell her to get out, And she sees no problem with this when i say it too her,because thier friends. Which made me feel like a piece of ****

Why would you feel like a piece of shít? This isn't about you as a person, it's about you as her child's father. You're not together anymore and if you were to regularly sleep in her bed when you're minding your child it could get very confusing for her.

Unregistered wrote: »

Now i know they werent doing anything (if they were, my golf club would a been very happy) but the fact of telling me to not sleep in the bed as it's confusing for my child and getting a ton of abuse, But it's ok for her too be sleeping with a married couple in her bed and thats complety normal for her and the kid.

Again, it doesn't seem to be a regular thing so I don't think you have anything to take issue with. If you are unhappy with your child seeing it (assuming of course she did) then tell your ex as much, but don't make this into an argument of "why do they get to sleep in the bed but I can't" as that's pretty childish tbh.

Unregistered wrote: »

What i want to know is do i have a right to be peed off with this situation or not, Before i go and give her a piece of my mind..

If you want to discuss it with her then do it calmly. Find out if it was a once off before you go shouting the odds at her, because if it was I'd suggest you calm down and stop overreacting. You can tell her you're not comfortable with it but make sure thats the truth of the situation instead of it being a petty argument with you annoyed at being told not to sleep in her bed....which, I'm sorry to say, is kind of what it sounds like.

tbh

no you don't. Your ex does, tho - Big Time.

Curvy Vixen

You can be as peed off as you like......but it's her house! She can do what she wants!

Wagon

Dunno, it's pretty hit and miss. You obviously don't like each other much so why not bring the child to your house instead? Makes life a lot easier in one way. It's still your child.

JDLK

Technically (and in these liberal times and all) you probably cant tell her what to do in her own house with her own life and all but if my ex was having threesomes in the room next to my child Id hit the f??cking roof!!!!

She thinks its confusing for the child to see you in her bed???What does she think it would do to the child to see her in bed with 2 strangers- Id read her the riot act mate- even if I was "techically" wrong- Id make it very clear that that kind of Sh1t aint happening around my kid.

I dont care what century it is, until my kids are 18 they're living in the 1950's

tbh

JDLK wrote: »

Technically (and in these liberal times and all) you probably cant tell her what to do in her own house with her own life and all but if my ex was having threesomes in the room next to my child Id hit the f??cking roof!!!!

She thinks its confusing for the child to see you in her bed???What does she think it would do to the child to see her in bed with 2 strangers- Id read her the riot act mate- even if I was "techically" wrong- Id make it very clear that that kind of Sh1t aint happening around my kid.

I dont care what century it is, until my kids are 18 they're living in the 1950's

calm down, dear, there was no mention of a threesome. they were just crashing in the the bed.

biko

There is a huge difference between having two friends in the bed and having your child's father sleeping there - in the eyes of the child.


Btw, the golf club remark. Even if they had a freaky threesome there when the child is off to school it does not concern you a bit. Did she dump you because you were too aggressive?

JDLK

tbh wrote: »

calm down, dear, there was no mention of a threesome. they were just crashing in the the bed.

And evian is an anagram of naive

towel401

I dunno about this stuff about the OP being in her bed 'confusing' the child.

The "proper family" died years ago. It's not a big deal anymore

Spootie

OP I think you have every right to be annoyed. You have however no right to expect to sleep in your ex's bed. However I think your ex is acting irresponsibily and that is very much your business. If my kid came home from sleeping at her dad's and told me daddy and a couple of his friends were sleeping together in the bed next door I'd go mental. Why could your ex not give the bed to her friends and shove you off the couch? If she is so worried about giving mixed messages to your child, what exactly is she trying to communicate with this type of behaviour?
If my child ran into my room in the morning to find a couple of adults lying next to me she would most likely freak out or at the very least be totally confused, not because of any potential activity but because of the invasion of her space and confusion she would feel (and besides if that ever did happen I would have truely lost the plot:eek:)

MagicMarker

I'd be more concerned with...

A: Her bringing a married couple home at 8am... wtf?
B: Her working through the night, when exactly is she supposed to be a mother?
C: Why you can't bring your kid home?

tbh

JDLK wrote: »

And evian is an anagram of naive

if being naive means that I have broad enough life experience to know that three people can crash in a bed without having sex, then colour me naive.

Wibbs

JDLK wrote: »

And evian is an anagram of naive

Huh? OK folks calm it down and back on topic.

marti101

MagicMarker wrote: »

I'd be more concerned with...

A: Her bringing a married couple home at 8am... wtf?
B: Her working through the night, when exactly is she supposed to be a mother?
C: Why you can't bring your kid home?

She can be a mother just cause she works nights doesntmake her less so.The bigger qs is why does he have to stay over,more than likely its to keep an eye on her and to keep tabs on what she is doing

beth-lou

The situation sounds bad for the child involved here from whatever angle you look at it. A couple of questions....

1. She comes in at 8 in the morning and goes to bed with two strangers.
No matter what year it is, this would be strange for a kid. Who is supposed to mind your kid while she is sleeping? You? And why couldn't this married couple go home to their own bed?

2. Is your girlfriend getting off her face and falling home at that time on a regular basis? Again not fair on the kid and if she is it is totally irresponsible to leave a kid unsupervised while she recovers from her bender. (And this is what it sounds like).

3. Why can't you take her to your place so she doesn't have to see this?