Good Golf Quotes

shanks8 · 08-10-2008 6:44pm #1

Anyone got some funny golf quotes, could be something a mate of yours said during a round, keep it clean!

C0SM0 · 10-10-2008 9:32am

"A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes"

TradeSecrets · 10-10-2008 10:16am

"If I grew tomatoes.....they'd grow sliced !!"

Blunder · 10-10-2008 11:28am

'If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.'

'I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money winner's list'

Lee Trevino:D

slingerz · 10-10-2008 11:41am

Won my first competition a few weeks back off 21 only to be told by my friend and 3 handicap

'About time you've more shots than the IRA!!'

Myksyk · 10-10-2008 11:52am

Think I saw this on some other thread but It's the funniest quote I've heard while playing golf:

"Three putting is like masturbating ... you feel bad after you've done it, but you know you're going to do it again."

mydogjack · 10-10-2008 11:55am

from the classic film happy gilmore:
"he spends more time in the sand than david hasslehoff"

callaway92 · 10-10-2008 4:03pm

That shot was a Kate Winslet...Bit fat, but otherwise perfect

Batesy · 10-10-2008 11:58pm

A 'Dennis Wise' when left with 'a horrible little 5 footer'

milltown · 11-10-2008 12:37am

"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators"
Former U.S. President Gerald Ford

shanks8 · 12-10-2008 5:29pm

Sunday Morning..Hungover..late! Rush from car to first tee...take a practice swing..

"jayus lads...I'm as stiff as a young priest!"

waterville72 · 12-10-2008 8:41pm

"You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen." Lee Trevino

Obni · 13-10-2008 2:11pm

Quite possibly the most un-pc thing anyone ever said to me on the course...

Lashed a big drive down the middle...

"Jaysus, you wouldn't smack a red-headed step-child that hard!"

kingshankly · 16-10-2008 7:07pm

after missing the green with yet another dreadful approach "Jesus lad I wouldn't hit water if I fell out of a boat

fatherbuzcagney · 25-10-2008 7:44pm

after i left another putt short yesterday my mate turned to me and asked me 'do u know the two things that u can't put in a hole are' i replied 'no' he said' a short putt and a soft mickey'

callaway92 · 25-10-2008 7:58pm

fatherbuzcagney wrote: »

after i left another putt short yesterday my mate turned to me and asked me 'do u know the two things that u can't put in a hole are' i replied 'no' he said' a short putt and a soft mickey'

fail.

tiptap · 27-10-2008 5:54pm

It's like doing your sister, you're up there but not proud of it :-)

SWAR · 28-10-2008 1:44pm

-The David O'Leary - "It wasn't my fault, it was the club".
-The Ryanair - "Jaysus, that landed miles away from where I expected it too"

And finally a short storey (not really a saying but a classic). This was told by Wayne Westner at a function I was at before. When he was playing on the European Tour a good few years back, he was playing a final round with David Feherty. Feherty was going quite well until he drove his ball into a dry drain only to be greeted with a shocking lie. There was some branches over his ball and I can't really rmember the rulling but to cut a long storey short John Paramore (dodgy spelling I know) said he was not allowed to remove a certain branch for one reason or another. Feherty felt this was harsh and said to Mr Paramore "what would happen now if I called you a CNUT". Mr Paramore said I would not be impressed and would have to take the proper action which would result in a fine and maybe a suspension from the Tour. Feherty then said "what would you do if I thought you were a CNUT". Mr Paramore said "you can think whatever you like"...."well I think you're a CNUT" said Feherty!