when are mothers going to be rewarded

ronnieboy

i look at my wife and see the great work she has done for our 4 childeren 21 10 9 8 and realise its a thankless job that society seems to have forgotten about . when will justice be done. love you all ron

Karoma

Mother's day.


When did you last reward her?

Kinetic^

ronnieboy wrote: »

i look at my wife and see the great work she has done for our 4 childeren 21 10 9 8 and realise its a thankless job that society seems to have forgotten about . when will justice be done. love you all ron

Oh right.....because society asked for you and your wife to have 4 kids.

lostinnappies

I agree, not in the monitory sence because lets face it if mothers were to get paid for having children the country would be bankrupt. But often I have noticed while out and about i meet old friends and the first question is "so what do you do". My responce is "im a mommy" which is usually followed by a look of "so you sit down on your ars/ all day"... then to test them i say "before kids I used to work as a ......" The difference in their reaction is staggering. Even the ones who have children and decide to work, some of their comments are "dont you want to go back to work then?" Why would i? Its a damn hard job and I dont trust anyone to bring up my kids for me nor do i expect them to. Not that all mothers are in the same situation as I am. I know some families can not afford to have one parent staying at home.

But it is a thankless job, an unrelenting job, an exausting job and peoples attitudes dont help. What would help is if the Government were to help mothers wishing to go back to work part time by insisting that creches take on part time children. In my area there are none they only take on full time places. Childminders are too expensive.

professore

Kinetic^ wrote: »

Oh right.....because society asked for you and your wife to have 4 kids.

The next time you are unemployed you should be refused benefit - "because society asked you to take the career path you did"

People seem to forget that children are citizens too and have rights. If no-one had kids then we would be extinct. The government have no issue giving property developers countless millions in tax incentives to build houses no-one wants to buy ... but any mention of support or tax incentives for childcare, which would be a net benefit to the State as it would get more skilled mothers who wish or need to work back in work to the benefit of the economy - is seen as unfair to people with no children. Hey, maybe those kids will grow up and eventually buy some of those empty houses !!!!!

The selfishness of some people in Ireland really makes me sick. "I'm all right Jack" should be the new national slogan. People get excited about frankly irrelevant issues like "Shell to Sea" but don't care or protest at all about issues that affect the future of the country like children's welfare or the state of the health service.

I suspect that there are lots of people like me who are too busy working trying to make ends meet to get really angry and involved to change something ... but that will change once this recession really starts to bite.

To the OP ... well done to your other half ... pay a babysitter, take her out for a nice meal and then spend the next 3 months paying for it.

The Corinthian

ronnieboy wrote: »

i look at my wife and see the great work she has done for our 4 childeren 21 10 9 8 and realise its a thankless job that society seems to have forgotten about . when will justice be done. love you all ron

TBH, your four children are the reward - if you expect any more from society then you had children for all the wrong reasons.

It is up to you to reward your wife if you feel she deserves it, not us. Go do it rather than talking about it.

professore wrote:

People seem to forget that children are citizens too and have rights.

He was asking about his wife being rewarded, not his children.

Oryx

I dont know whether to look at the OP as a question about rewarding mum in a small scale, or that she should have a wage packet.

From a society pov, I chose to have my kids, and I didnt do it because I expected to be paid to raise them. I had them knowing they were my responsibility and I would have to work hard to provide for them. Thats really why I have two and not six. I couldnt afford six.

But I dont expect the government to cough up for my choices. Otherwise where does that stop? Everyone would be clamouring for financial aid for what are essentially personal lifestyle decisions.

I agree with assitance with childcare so I can work (I get the early child allowance which is a godsend) but I disagree with paying stay at home mothers. Yes our society needs children, but we also need workers. If you pay women to stay at home, there will be an element who will take advantage of that situation. And for those not in rewarding, creative jobs, there would no real incentive to go out to work if you could stay at home and care for your kids. Regardless of how many others would come off the live register, the workforce would suffer, as the wealth of experience and knowledge provided by working mothers would be removed. Not to mention the cost to the exchequer. And I have a fear that such a move would be a step back to the days when women were expected to leave work once they got married (and were going to have kids).

My most contentious thought: Most mums are wonderful carers, but lets face it some mums are not as good. How would you quantify who does the job well and who doesnt?

Carrigart Exile

Perhaps the bigger question is how does the state say thanks to those mums and dads who do a great job bringing their kids up rather than the reverse, which is the state seems to reward the feckless. I know the state intervention is protection of the child but it does seem sometimes that the old saying 'act daft and get a ride for free' is still poingnant today.

Redpunto

I dont think the OP was necessarily saying that the State should cough up for people who have children, just the fact that people may forget that parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do, both emotionally and physically and that he was just making a point that it'd be nice for more people to remember the fact

The Corinthian

Redpunto wrote: »

I dont think the OP was necessarily saying that the State should cough up for people who have children, just the fact that people may forget that parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do, both emotionally and physically and that he was just making a point that it'd be nice for more people to remember the fact

Fair point, and I do think we kind of jumped to that conclusion when it could simply be a case of recognition.

Still, if recognition is what he meant, why on Earth is he telling a bunch of strangers on the interweb this and not saying it to his wife?

vincenzo1975

ronnieboy wrote: »

i its a thankless job that society seems to have forgotten about

Its actually one of the most rewarding roles there is, I would have thought.

I always thought the greatest thing you can offer society, your country, the earth, the universe, if there is one thing that YOU can do to change the world so to speak, its be a good parent and do your best to raise good kids. There is no more important job then that, and as such, it is the toughest, but most rewarding job, if done properly.

It is equally the worst thing for society if, as a parent, you dont give a diddley what your kids turn out like, and let them run wild and have no boundries. In this case, the role of being a parent/mother is generally vacant and frustrating and pointless. Lots of these types round too unfortunately.

In My Humble Opinion......by the way!

Oh by the way, the reward for being a great mom.... Pride and getting the love back in old age.

MrsA

Well my reward (even at 3am) is when my 8 month old son, gives me a toothy grin and says mama!!

M

High&Low

Kinetic^ wrote: »

Oh right.....because society asked for you and your wife to have 4 kids.

The same way society asked your parents to have children...

Nevyn

Some countries encourage people to have children with the supports they put in place starting with both paid maternity and paternity leave and other supports, even up to a civilian medal.

It is a shame that the work a stay at home parent does is so undervalued currently.

The Corinthian

Thaedydal wrote: »

Some countries encourage people to have children with the supports they put in place starting with both paid maternity and paternity leave and other supports, even up to a civilian medal.

Paid maternity leave is a bit difficult if the mother is unwaged (a housewife or unemployed) unless the State is to pay a salary. And if so, we are going back to the earlier discussion.

It is a shame that the work a stay at home parent does is so undervalued currently.

Yes, but part of it is because of some of the stay at home parents out there.

run_Forrest_run

MrsA wrote: »

Well my reward (even at 3am) is when my 8 month old son, gives me a toothy grin and says mama!!

M

+1 (or dada in my case!) but the point is, you should not expect rewards from people, you are doing it because you want to do it, and it was your decision. it's a vocation, not an occupation

lostinnappies

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

+1 (or dada in my case!) but the point is, you should not expect rewards from people, you are doing it because you want to do it, and it was your decision. it's a vocation, not an occupation

I agree but having spent the whole night being punched and kicked and deafened and hair pulled out by an 11 month old who was ill and vomiting all over me and then being up for 48 hours and feeling beaten mentally and physically i think i need a reward. But i dont expect it from the government. It would be nice to have someone come and take them off my hands for 24 hours so i can glue my hair back on. What i feel is most aggrivating and makes me want to punch people in the head is the attitude that being a stay at home mom is easy work..... come live at my house for a week and then imagine doing it for years on end.

jim o doom

Thankless, definitely. However, people have children for their own reasons, nobody forces them, children are meant to be the thanks and joys themselves are they not? A mothers lot can be a tough one indeed, but people who choose to have children, make that choice themselves. If the children are thankless that's unfortunate, but I can't see society thanking any family for increasing, it seems sort of pointless. e.g. Thank you stranger for raising YOUR children. nope, that would be bizarre. That being said we wouldn't have a society without mothers so I could well be being WAY too cynical - shouldn't perhaps you be the one shower her thanks?

Quality

I think you have to ask yourself why you have children in the first place??

I think if you get pregnant solely for monetary reasons or thinking that one day you may win a mum of the year reward you will be sorely disappointed.

My reward is having two happy kids (so far) who love me and make me happy and who I in return love and make them happy.

If I can be as good a parent to my kids as my parents have been to me, I will be very happy.

lostinnappies

jim o doom wrote: »

Thankless, definitely. However, people have children for their own reasons, nobody forces them, children are meant to be the thanks and joys themselves are they not? A mothers lot can be a tough one indeed, but people who choose to have children, make that choice themselves. If the children are thankless that's unfortunate, but I can't see society thanking any family for increasing, it seems sort of pointless. e.g. Thank you stranger for raising YOUR children. nope, that would be bizarre. That being said we wouldn't have a society without mothers so I could well be being WAY too cynical - shouldn't perhaps you be the one shower her thanks?

Absolutly the only people who should be supportive and appriciative are the family members..... but sometimes they are just as usless as a stone wall. My sister for example has no kids and works as a receptionist from the hours of 9 to 4pm and then sits on the computer all day just surfing (not much work for her to do) she then has the gaul to say .. you have it easy, all you do is sit at home with the kids all day watching cartoons... i havent seen the tv during the day in about 4 years. Thats what makes my blood boil:mad:. Although not everone is as ... im sorry to use this word ... ignorant as she is.

Quackles

lostinnappies wrote: »

I agree but having spent the whole night being punched and kicked and deafened and hair pulled out by an 11 month old who was ill and vomiting all over me and then being up for 48 hours and feeling beaten mentally and physically i think i need a reward. But i dont expect it from the government. It would be nice to have someone come and take them off my hands for 24 hours so i can glue my hair back on. What i feel is most aggrivating and makes me want to punch people in the head is the attitude that being a stay at home mom is easy work..... come live at my house for a week and then imagine doing it for years on end.

I think stay at home mammies are the bees knees. I work full time, and I swear it's like a holiday compared to staying at home with the kiddo... No-one goes near me with bodily fluids for a start!! And my hair is rarely, if ever, pulled. I do know what you mean, though, there are people out there who look down on stay at home parents, which is just wrong. Perhaps it's that attitude OP was referring to. It's the toughest job in the world. I'd still do it in a heartbeat if it was financially viable, though

run_Forrest_run

lostinnappies wrote: »

My sister for example has no kids and works as a receptionist from the hours of 9 to 4pm and then sits on the computer all day just surfing (not much work for her to do) she then has the gaul to say .. you have it easy, all you do is sit at home with the kids all day watching cartoons... i havent seen the tv during the day in about 4 years. Thats what makes my blood boil:mad:. Although not everone is as ... im sorry to use this word ... ignorant as she is.

oh yes, we all know people like this and it is so annoying alright. those people don't even know what an honest day's work is like, not to mention minding a child all day so try not to let it get to you too much (easier said than done I know!).

I must admit, it's only after I became a parent that I realised that the most demanding full time job on the planet is looking after young kids..period.