2% of me in Killarney for free...

YULETIRED

2% of me for free

All you have to do is write me a little poem on the poker forum for the last few weeks. There is plenty of material to work with.....
I will pick the winner before I set off to the Kingdom and he/she will have 2% of me for Killarney simple as

Mellor

How many times can we enter? I'll give it more thought if its just the once

YULETIRED

500 enteries per person.

Mellor

Ok, thoguht of this real quick, prob the best i'll manage,

The Poker Forum

The poker forum here on Boards,
Where the grinders flock in their hoards,
To try better their, poker power,
In terms of Big Blinds an hour,
Aiming for graphs just like Phantom Lords.

DeadParrot

We have had a few issues on the forum
DBC annoying all like a mormon
who knocks at your door every day, for your soul says he'll pray
sweet **** this first verse is quite boring

For my own sins, I am as you know quite lazy
Memories of being ever on time are quite hazy
lying around and just vegging and forgot about regging
so this weekend I'll be going **** crazy

Now a % or two is on offer
some action without emptying my coffers
So this poem is for you , though it is rather poo
for ryhming can I just mentions knockers?

I couldnt allow this poem to be over
that last verse hardly smelled of fresh clover
So best of luck to ya willy, get the chimps and hillbillys
with your winnings, please buy me a roy of the rovers

Sweet jaysus these limericks are quite hard
like playing against a drunk lagtard
next poetry thread, i'll just use me head
and leave and poems alone and play cards

The Forum:

I doubt that I shall make it south,
To exercise my well used mouth,
And annoy the gathered hoardes who come
To ply their trade in the Kingdom.

Here I shall remain, alas!
To watch upon the updates as
Willie shoots for poker glory,
To share his win, I tell my story:

A young man from northern stock did come
To terrorise the serene forum
To torture, abuse and curse the Gods
To create a pain for our good Mods.

He went by many names this tool
In his attempt to gaily fool
Us each into engage his sadness
But all he found was mounting madness

But banished was this wandering soul
To wherever he might call his home
And cursed by all who speak his name
And grew weary of his pointless game.

To change our mood we sought distraction
From our cousins who brought us satisfaction
And pushed by those who did conspire
To make us all enjoy The Wire.

Weighty words are often said
In BBV, that hallowed thread
Concerning the unfolding drama
Of Chicago's own Barrack Obama.

Between this nonsense dagunman's tried
To resurrect a game that's long since died
But lack of value near spoiled the day
Until they heard that Jay would play.

Lastly we have seen the doom
Of the collapse of our economic boom
Which Olly claims he did foresee
I wish he had alerted me!

And all the while we watch in awe
As Phantom scoops every pot we saw
And Ace continues his life long spin
To contirve to lose every pot he's in.





I may edit this later. I just did this one off the cuff.

strewelpeter

This needs some work ... I might try again later

A young Banker in dire need of sex
For a monkey, short sold runners to Carfax
Its all sold out in advance,
Stephen claimed with a dance
Had his pants pulled when Unrege'd xApathyX

adzer86

WOW Kayroo really wants this 2%
Shame his poem is totally **** lol

Here is a poem on a few recent topics in the poker forum:

2% of killarney for free...
Yultired posted posted oh so recently

Irish Poker Team Sponsored by PPP...
Not another thread from DBC

The Tourist goes from full ring to 6max...
Moany Bi**ch makes Nuxxx s**t his cacks

When bluffing you should try to relax...
You Call?? Sweat has my T-shirt stuck to my back

I saw How to become a poker millionaire...
Why am i still Broke? This isnt fair

Play Heads Up with Mellor if you dare...
Shuffle up and deal, cards in the air

This thread started on the 1st
2% is mine, the bubble has burst.

adzer86

adzer86 wrote: »

WOW Kayroo really wants this 2%
Shame his poem is totally **** lol

I'm no Byron but I do my best:(

Seriously though, the 2% doesn't bother me so much. I just love these threads, they are always a good laugh.

careca

The same auld sh_it every day
Can anyone recommend a site to play
Is PPP or Stars gone down
WTF with the call from the clown

Anyone any books to spare
Don't mention preflop, cos i don't care
Ryder Cup golf and banks sinking
WTF was BCB thinking

Killarneys on next but we got no list
Inside Kelly must have been pissed
Then the IPO with a huge crowd on the floor
WTF can't I pay at the door

This forum has been all things, but poker is lackin
Bring back our old boy, anyone see Kracken?

Lauralashes

This poker forum is meant to be
One happy and big family
But there's one lad in Doubt as
He keeps being pushed out
Vratislav you have one option ....PLEASE LEAVE


Your threads are quite often a mess
But who are you really, lets guess??
Willie Clynes on a rampage??
Sur there would be no advantage
In fact we would think of him less


Dcb is the obvious choice
It seems he likes to speak with more than one voice
But the mods are on top
And each thread it is locked
While the ink in the post is still moist


Danny Diamond won his seat in the EPT
In fact he nearly won it for free
Wouldnt it be great
If it was his fate
To win what Fintan did, ya see...


He went to Spain for a shot
At a huge international pot
And performed miracles like Moses
Came out smelling of roses
When his cards kept running hot


900k he brought home
On the wednesday he wasn't alone
With a party put on
Boardsies drank and sang songs
Lets hope he doesnt get hit for too many loans


Carfax's IPO's round the corner
You'll never get 1200 said the moaners
But with 2 weeks to go
He's running a full show
Cant wait for the 17th of October


Theres been some controversial threads on
The Blinkers Casino schedule was one
To me it seems to be
They have questions to answer .... 3
And no-one wants to hear from them til thats done!


Nicnicnic has been sponsored by Bruce Poker
A true gent but by all means a joker
Plays his game hard and fast
But plays golf like a lass
Best of luck, ya shiny head fooker


We couldn't have asked for much more
A 500 euro event with a big score
A 300k prizepool pot
Hope Boardsies scoop the lot
If this happens there'll be celebrations for sure


Killarney this weekend is the place to be
So many familiar faces we'll see
So all that remains to be said
On this 2% thread is
Good Luck to every Boardsie

KevIRL

Who's signed in on Laura's account and what have they done with Laura?

YULETIRED

some classics here.....

bottom feeder

Lauralashes wrote: »

This poker forum is meant to be
One happy and big family
But there's one lad in Doubt as
He keeps being pushed out
Vratislav you have one option ....PLEASE LEAVE


Your threads are quite often a mess
But who are you really, lets guess??
Willie Clynes on a rampage??
Sur there would be no advantage
In fact we would think of him less


Dcb is the obvious choice
It seems he likes to speak with more than one voice
But the mods are on top
And each thread it is locked
While the ink in the post is still moist


Danny Diamond won his seat in the EPT
In fact he nearly won it for free
Wouldnt it be great
If it was his fate
To win what Fintan did, ya see...


He went to Spain for a shot
At a huge international pot
And performed miracles like Moses
Came out smelling of roses
When his cards kept running hot


900k he brought home
On the wednesday he wasn't alone
With a party put on
Boardsies drank and sang songs
Lets hope he doesnt get hit for too many loans


Carfax's IPO's round the corner
You'll never get 1200 said the moaners
But with 2 weeks to go
He's running a full show
Cant wait for the 17th of October


Theres been some controversial threads on
The Blinkers Casino schedule was one
To me it seems to be
They have questions to answer .... 3
And no-one wants to hear from them til thats done!


Nicnicnic has been sponsored by Bruce Poker
A true gent but by all means a joker
Plays his game hard and fast
But plays golf like a lass
Best of luck, ya shiny head fooker


We couldn't have asked for much more
A 500 euro event with a big score
A 300k prizepool pot
Hope Boardsies scoop the lot
If this happens there'll be celebrations for sure


Killarney this weekend is the place to be
So many familiar faces we'll see
So all that remains to be said
On this 2% thread is
Good Luck to every Boardsie

I like it

zuroph

Killarney poker
festival here we all come
boards to win the loot


haiku. *smug*

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

nicnicnic

USA USA USA
USA USA USA
BOO SA BOO SA

YULETIRED

nicnicnic wrote: »

USA USA USA
USA USA USA
BOO SA BOO SA

They won as Europes putting was no use,
but for rubbing it in, Im ringing up Bruce,
I shall tell them of you turnycoat ways,
and you'll get hauled into the Office
Just Like Noel Hayes

connie147

Well, as I know I wont be playing at the festival (sold out before I bought a ticket!! Oh why didnt somebody tell me?;)), I'm gonna have to have a crack at this Willie to see if I can have some interest in the event.




Where do I start with my review,as I scratch the back of my head,
Instead of wasting time on boards, I should be in my bed,
But habits they are hard to kick, this forum I do love,
Its just like when you know you should fold, but suddenly say "shove".

And what about this DCB,he dug himself a hole,
Jumping in to every thread, he's nothing but a troll,
Firing up the boardies, your only asking for trouble,
The mods finally got on his case, and burst his effing bubble.

The latest saga on the site, is about Veras party in Blinkers,
The lady with the heart of gold, the questions now are stinkers,
"What happened to our prize-pool", I hear the boardies roar,
"If we dont get the proper answers, we'll never darken your door"

The silence it is deafening, the questions they are rife,
Dev is now on the prowl, the end is now in sight,
I'm sure next year it will be back,maybe in the home of Kate Kearney,
I invite you Vera on a road trip, I'll host it in Killarney.

And Marty Smyth, did he do well, in Las Vegas at the WSOP,
When he won the omaha championship, the Irish jumped with glee,
There was such a gang of Irish, surrounded the final table,
I'd say the yanks would bottle the "craic", they would if they were able!

And what about Fintan Gavin, at the EPT in Barcelona,
Given as much chance as finding gold, in the bogs of Board Na Mona,
But tearing through the field he came, twas like a one man band,
As he finished up in 2nd spot, and trousered 900 grand.

I really dont have time for this, I really need to rest,
For whats remaining of this week, I have to give my best,
To the Ladbrokes Poker Festival, thats on in my home town,
800 runners in the field, theres a lot of boardies down,
We'll make ye all feel welcome, thats what we like to do,
But if your gonna enjoy yourself, well really, its up to you!
Just come with plenty money, hope you enjoyed my poem,
Looking forward to welcoming you all, to Killarney, "beauty's home".

Connie.

Moneymaker

Keith wins, imo.

ITT-Pat

Deleted User wrote: »

The Forum:

I doubt that I shall make it south,
To exercise my well used mouth,
And annoy the gathered hoardes who come
To ply their trade in the Kingdom.

Here I shall remain, alas!
To watch upon the updates as
Willie shoots for poker glory,
To share his win, I tell my story:

A young man from northern stock did come
To terrorise the serene forum
To torture, abuse and curse the Gods
To create a pain for our good Mods.

He went by many names this tool
In his attempt to gaily fool
Us each into engage his sadness
But all he found was mounting madness

But banished was this wandering soul
To wherever he might call his home
And cursed by all who speak his name
And grew weary of his pointless game.

To change our mood we sought distraction
From our cousins who brought us satisfaction
And pushed by those who did conspire
To make us all enjoy The Wire.

Weighty words are often said
In BBV, that hallowed thread
Concerning the unfolding drama
Of Chicago's own Barrack Obama.

Between this nonsense dagunman's tried
To resurrect a game that's long since died
But lack of value near spoiled the day
Until they heard that Jay would play.

Lastly we have seen the doom
Of the collapse of our economic boom
Which Olly claims he did foresee
I wish he had alerted me!

And all the while we watch in awe
As Phantom scoops every pot we saw
And Ace continues his life long spin
To contirve to lose every pot he's in.





I may edit this later. I just did this one off the cuff.

wow, officially boards.ie post of the day

bops

test your math:

2% x 0 = $????


gl willie, hope you suck out lots 'n stuff

...i was gonna write a poem, but i couldn't think of anything that rhymed with blunt, duck, pit, or brick

nicnicnic

bops wrote: »

test your math:

2% x 0 = $????


gl willie, hope you suck out lots 'n stuff

...i was gonna write a poem, but i couldn't think of anything that rhymed with blunt, duck, pit, or brick

someone sounds like they got the hump huh, not enough brownies for Killarney then Boppo ? maybe you can get down for the €300 game on Saturday ?

YULETIRED

bops wrote: »

test your math:

2% x 0 = $????

Sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh Bops, I was hoping they wouldn't cop onto this.

Doc Farrell

where do get the time connie?
great poem, i'm sick i'm not in killarney this weekend, truely nastily sick, oh well, next time.

Marq

recession looming,
place all faith in soy bean stocks
or perhaps poker

doke

Marq wrote: »

recession looming,
place all faith in soy bean stocks
or perhaps poker

Beardy's haiku hands down winner IMO. Anyone who say otherwise is anti-Asian!

califano

Again we wait for the cousins
To download new torrenz by the dozens
All except for luckyLloyd
Branson must be overjoyed

Posts of bankrolls lost through benders
Arguments abound like it eastenders
Tightening of the tournament charter
Helps us all avoid further palaver

Fatboydim assembles his troop
To invade the old enemy as a solidified group
Despite suspicion that fatboys a brit
He got documentation to prove he’s legit

Anyone else having ipoker problems?
Man isnt the online rooms in the absolute doldrums
Anyone experiencing problems with Moneybookers?
Why no replies you lousy fcukers?

BCB pulls off a Curley esq coup
Carfax ends up in the poo
All is fair in love an war
Hopefully reputations will be restored

Old boy Willie still causes a stir
He will clip your chimp ears if you act the curr
S.E seems to be going to the dogs
Its just that theyre not getting enough Joe Bloggs

CHL’s is gone but Luke is back
Full of beans and talking smack
Choice is plenty for the Dublin geezer
Problem is not enough steaks in the freezer

Prop bets going strong they are here to stay
But giving the winnings to charity is ghey
Spunking it in the cash game is the way to go
I say this just so you know

Finally why am I posting this now?
I should have been on the bunny
Ah as says bcb its not about the money;)

YULETIRED

despite some hilarious poems from Connie et al and a suprisingly brilliant one from Laura I have to award Kayroo the prize by a whisker.


great value for my 2% thanks all i really enjoyed them.

Willie


damn it rounders your classic came in just after I'd finished........would have been a serious contender....

no harm in sending in some more though folks, I love reading em and I know most people do too

YULETIRED

YULETIRED wrote: »

despite some hilarious poems from Connie et al and a suprisingly brilliant one from Laura I have to award Kayroo the prize by a whisker.

Post of the Day and now this? It's all too much...

First I'd like to thank God...:rolleyes:

Cheers Willie, now take it down like a good lad will ya!

YULETIRED

Deleted User wrote: »

Post of the Day and now this? It's all too much...

First I'd like to thank God...:rolleyes:

Cheers Willie, now take it down like a good lad will ya!

id actually have to take it down for you to get nything much, so if yer god is listening....


thx for the poem, excellent work you gobby bard

Doc Farrell

rounders123 wrote: »

Again we wait for the cousins
To download new torrenz by the dozens
All except for luckyLloyd
Branson must be overjoyed

Posts of bankrolls lost through benders
Arguments abound like it eastenders
Tightening of the tournament charter
Helps us all avoid further palaver

Fatboydim assembles his troop
To invade the old enemy as a solidified group
Despite suspicion that fatboys a brit
He got documentation to prove he’s legit

Anyone else having ipoker problems?
Man isnt the online rooms in the absolute doldrums
Anyone experiencing problems with Moneybookers?
Why no replies you lousy fcukers?

BCB pulls off a Curley esq coup
Carfax ends up in the poo
All is fair in love an war
Hopefully reputations will be restored

Old boy Willie still causes a stir
He will clip your chimp ears if you act the curr
S.E seems to be going to the dogs
Its just that theyre not getting enough Joe Bloggs

CHL’s is gone but Luke is back
Full of beans and talking smack
Choice is plenty for the Dublin geezer
Problem is not enough steaks in the freezer

Prop bets going strong they are here to stay
But giving the winnings to charity is ghey
Spunking it in the cash game is the way to go
I say this just so you know

Finally why am I posting this now?
I should have been on the bunny
Ah as says bcb its not about the money;)

winner! talented slag. :mad:

edit: btw 2%!?
you had better win it Willie!