Drunken kiss

LegacyUser

Ok i want boardsies opinions on this.

im 24 basically with my girlfriend (20) for the guts of 7 months.
shes in college in galway in 3rd year and last night she got hammered drunk and kissed a random guy. they only kissed she says and i just have horrible visions of them kissing.

im still stunned she just told me earlier tonight. she said she wouldnt have done it if she was sober i dunno whether i should end it and forget about whole thing. i was gonna tell her im falling in love with her at the weekend so im really torn.

shes normally a great girl we get along really well, good chats, sex life is good no major problems at all. i really like her but just cant believe this sh*t tho!

ive never cheated on her and she said before she hates people who do that. she wanted to tell me in person but i managed to get her to tell me over text i really had to convince her she wanted to tell me to my face. now she says shes racked with guilt, im tending to believe her. i still havent met her yet face to face yet as im up north working till weekend.

so what do you good people think? call it quits or keep going?

dudara

We can't decide for you. You need to think about it and decide what you want to do.

Do you think that it was a genuine slip-up on her part? Is she truly sorry about it? We all make mistakes at times, and maybe she deserves some forgiveness on your part.

I think that you need to wait until you meet her before you make any decisions.

togster

It depends OP.

It was just a kiss. You need to take some time to really process what that means to you. Don't rush back to her until you are not sure you can deal with it.

To give you some perspective. I walked in on my "girlfriend" (1 month :rolleyes:) at the weekend with some guys knob in her mouth. She didn't get time to explain. Her and him were ****ed out on the street naked at 4 in the morning. Some things you can get over others you can't :pac:
Some women make mistakes, others are cnuts. Decide what your girlfriend is.

seanybiker

if she can kiss a fella then tell ya and you keep her. Whats stopping her doing it again. Thats only my opinion. Best of luck with your choice

iMax

Maybe it's just me, but I've been drunk loads of times & never kissed anyone I shouldn't....

Have you ?

Don't get this "excuse" at all... "I was Drunk/I didn't know what I was doing/It's not like me at all"...

Simple. Be single, get drunk, kiss who you want. Can't do that, then don't drink.

tbh

it all boils down to one simple question.

Will she do it again?

You Answered:

She definitely will: You should dump this girl.

She definitely won't: Forget about it so, and i mean REALLY forget about it. Don't store it up for use in an argument 6 months hence.

I don't know: Don't dump her, but don't say "I love you" either. Forgive her on this occassion, explain to her how you are feeling and take it slowly for a couple of months while you try to rebuild trust. If, after a couple of months, you can't trust her, there's no point in continuing the relationship, and you should end it.

themullet

Well she came clean with you so that must count for something. I think you need to sit down with her and have a good chat. Ask her if she's happy in your relationship and then if she convinces you well then I'd say give it another go. If you do decide to give it another go, forget about this completely. Do not throw it back in her face the next time you have an argument. If you can see that happening well then let her go. It will only work if you both leave it in the past. Maybe she has learned her lesson. Make her earn back your trust though.

I wouldn't mention anything about love for a while.

orlyice

OP, she was straight up about kissing this other guy, she says nothing else happened. whie i dont agree with what she did (have never kissed another guy while with anyone) she obviously respects you enough to tell you, it would have been easier to keep it to herself and pretend it never happened. the fact she she feels so guilty about it meens she must have strong feelings for you too.

meet up with her, let her explain and let her know what she did is not ok but try to forgive her. we all make mistakes

Sephiroth_dude

****ty situation to be in,same thing happened me 2yrs ago,she was at a party,got hammered,meet her friend,was all apologetic,I forgave her,3 days later she broke up with and got with the guy she got off with,if you trust her enough to give her another chance then do,but if you then break up with her cuz otherwise you'll just be wondering all the time is she with the other guy and belive me it will drive you demented.

SarahJ

Sorry to hear that Op, thats a nasty situation to be in.

I'm just wondering, does anyone else think it was selfish of her to tell him? She could have just lived with her own guilt, and not told him. I know that sounds horrible, but if it was just a kiss, why tell him and hurt him too?

I can't beleive I'm thinking this way, but its just how I feel when I read the OPs post.

tbh

Sarah whenever this situation arises, PI is split between those who feel the kisser should keep it to themselves, and those who feel like their partner has the right to know, and decide whether they want to keep going out with the kisser. Personally, if the OP's missus never did it again, I feel like she should have stayed quiet, although i can understand the other point of view.

TripleAce

Unreg&unsure wrote: »

so what do you good people think? call it quits or keep going?

Calling it quits is a no-no....cheating is very bad, but she cheated first so if you still want to stay with her, then you just earned a 3-cheating tokens to go even.

smares

seanybiker wrote: »

if she can kiss a fella then tell ya and you keep her. Whats stopping her doing it again.

once a cheat always a cheat!

LegacyUser

thanks guys some good advice there i guess i do just have to meet up with her to judge for myself. i think she is genuinely guilty (only judging from texts) so ill just have to wait till weekend to get full view. im still in shock tho that she did it.

_blank_

Did she text you to tell you?

If she did, dump her skanky ass.

That's pure ignorance.

davyjose

orlyice wrote: »

OP, she was straight up about kissing this other guy, she says nothing else happened. whie i dont agree with what she did (have never kissed another guy while with anyone) she obviously respects you enough to tell you, it would have been easier to keep it to herself and pretend it never happened.

No it wouldn't. She told him in order to assuage her own guilt. The bottom line is, if she knew this was a once-off, never-to-be-repeated event, then she'd have swallowed her guilt, taken it on the chest and given the OP the BJ of his life. And he'd have been the happiest guy in town, blissfully unaware.

SamuelFox

Man, I really feel for you and I know what its like. Basically, a similar thing happened me with my girlfriend a few months ago – we hadn’t been together as long as you but it was serious all the same. She went out and got absolutely **** faced (she drank a bottle of JD and half a bottle of Bacardi) and, to cut along story short, scored another guy. She was in bits afterwards and we got back together, and have been together since. However, with the benefit of hindsight I’d advise you to think really carefully about what you do now. In my case, I haven’t really trusted her since, especially when she is out without me (I work in a nightclub so that happens a lot). I find myself getting worried when she is drunk, when she doesn’t text, when she is late, etc. For example, last week she went out without me, got drunk, and arrived back to our place at half four. I don’t think anything happened but tbh for a while I wasn’t as sure. Basically, people say “once a cheater, always a cheater” and whether that’s true or not, when you don’t see much of your girlfriend it’s going to be on your mind. Anyway, best of luck with your decision.

Alessandra

Could she not have at least phoned you? All very immature. Texting isn't a very good indicator of how remorseful she is..

MagicMarker

She wanted to tell you face to face but you convinced her to tell you straight away, but she did it in a text rather than an actual phone call? That's a bit ****.

All i can say is how i think i'd feel in your situation (thankfully i've never been there).

If this were to happen to me, then all trust would be gone. Next time your girlfriend goes out with the girls are you going to feel completely satisfied that nothing will happen? I wouldn't.

Do you want to be with someone who is capable of this after only 7 months? I wouldn't.

Like someone else said, being drunk is no excuse, i've never done this when single, let alone in a relationship. So lastly, do you want to be with someone so immature that she can't even drink responsibly? That alone would be a turn off for me.

Let's face it, if she were sober then i don't think you'd be thinking about this so carefully.

In your situation, I don't think I could be with someone like that, even if i cared so much for her, out of respect for MYSELF. If I allow myself to be treated like that then why would any partner I have treat me with respect, something which your girlfriend is seriously lacking.

krudler

Dump her , once a cheater always a cheater, "it was just a kiss" is no excuse and the " i was drunk" routine is bull****, cheatings cheating, you have 2 choices, get back at her by doing the same thing and letting her know, which makes you as bad as her, or break up with her, if you stay with her you'll always and i mean ALWAYS have that sickening feeling when shes out thinking shes doing the same thing, been in the same situation myself a few times, the first was younger and forgave and regretted it, the other 2 times she got dumped there and then

but thats just me

4Xcut

orlyice wrote: »

OP, she was straight up about kissing this other guy, she says nothing else happened. whie i dont agree with what she did (have never kissed another guy while with anyone) she obviously respects you enough to tell you, it would have been easier to keep it to herself and pretend it never happened. the fact she she feels so guilty about it meens she must have strong feelings for you too.

meet up with her, let her explain and let her know what she did is not ok but try to forgive her. we all make mistakes

She could have been telling him before she thought someone else would as damage limitation. She could have been trying to alieveate her own guilt as well.

LegacyUser

She told you, that shows that she is not trying to hide anything. She also has strong feelings for you, why else would she have felt so guilty and felt the need to tell you. Give the girl a break and tell her that you admire her honesty but that if this was to happen again you wouldn't want to be in a relationship because it would be too heartbreaking for you!

I think she sounds like a nice girl who just had a few drinks too many, sobered up and needed to tell you because she loves you!