Urges for others

LegacyUser

Ok am going unreg for this.

I am going out with a girl for 3 years, I absolutely love her to bits, I am 20 and she is my first and only sexual partner. I had opportunitys to have 1 night stands before her but I didn't want to.
Over the last while I have had the urge to sleep with other women, I could name 10 girls I know that I would love to get with. I always had small urges like every other human being at the start but they have been really strong lately. I am constantly looking at women and I get chatted up regularly which enhances the feeling although I have never really flirted back.
My gf and I both have busy schedules and or sex life suffers major. I would like to spend the rest of my life with this girl but at times (I know this is horrible to say) I wish I could meet her in a couple of years time.
So two q's really: Is this normal? Am I missing out?

Please no macho guy BS answers, have enough friends informing me to be a manwhore

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Quackles

I married my first love, and I never had any urges to look elsewhere so I never felt 'cheated'. I'd be afraid that if you are feeling like that already you will.. You could suggest a break, but how would you feel about the thought of your partner being with someone else? What's good for the goose has to be good for the gander too..

tbh

yes it's normal, it's your primal instinct to reproduce. Men are programmed to spread their seed among as many females as possible to enhance the chances of passing on their DNA. We can accept that about fish, snakes, dogs, cats lions, tigers and any other animal except for ourselves. So, don't worry about the feelings - but if you love your girlfriend, don't cheat on her. It makes you feel **** - take it from me. In fact, in my previous life, I cheated on every girl I was with and not once - NOT ONCE - did I lie there afterwards thinking "well that was worth it". In fact, as soon as i came (sorry), i started thinking "my poor girlfriend, I'm such a w@nker, I don't deserve her" - it's never worth it.

I've been with the girl I'm with now for five years, never cheated, and it's all good. Of course I get the urge every now and again when I see an attractive woman, but I wouldn't risk what I've built with my missus (and what we can go on to build together) for a 20 minute knee trembler. It's just common sense

No problem sleeping with as many women as will have you as long as you don't lie to anyone to do it.

themacdaddy

I have to say I am in a simular situation to you. I love my girlfriend too but I do something feel like I am missing out and don't wanna look back and kind of have regret if that makes any sense at all. Its mad as when your in a relationship you sometimes wanna be single but when your single you wanna be in a relationship! I guess you gotta weigh up can other girls make you feel the same/better than your girlfriend does and can you love them as much. TBH is right though...one night stands would make you feel good for that 20 mins but after it what have you got? i would never ever cheat on my girlfriend so id advise you not to either! i think if you look close at the girl you have now you will realise that she is worth more than all those girls put together! thats what keeps me going anyway.

Jimmy Bottlehead

Speaking from my own experience, I think most guys need to get that casual part out of the way before they can fully commit to and appreciate what they have in a relationship. Basically, you gotta sift through the dirt to find the gold. You could stay with her, and always wonder (you might end up cheating on her, or else always wondering and never fully appreciating what you have).

Also, with sexual experience, comes the realisation of what a good and a bad sex life is. If you only ever tried one food, you'd not know if it was great or just alright - but after trying different types, you'd be able to gauge better. Odd example but you get my drift.

I'd take a break from her, spread your wild oats as much (or as little) as needs be and then re-evaluate things with the missus.

Macha

tbh wrote: »

yes it's normal, it's your primal instinct to reproduce. Men are programmed to spread their seed among as many females as possible to enhance the chances of passing on their DNA. We can accept that about fish, snakes, dogs, cats lions, tigers and any other animal except for ourselves. So, don't worry about the feelings - but if you love your girlfriend, don't cheat on her. It makes you feel **** - take it from me. In fact, in my previous life, I cheated on every girl I was with and not once - NOT ONCE - did I lie there afterwards thinking "well that was worth it". In fact, as soon as i came (sorry), i started thinking "my poor girlfriend, I'm such a w@nker, I don't deserve her" - it's never worth it.

Just to point out that men don't have the monopoly on this. I have quite a few girlfriends who wish they had met their long-term partners a few years later. If she is as young as you (or even younger) she might be feeling the same way. It's natural for men and women to feel like this.

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

I'd take a break from her, spread your wild oats as much (or as little) as needs be and then re-evaluate things with the missus.

Er...don't expect her to be sitting at home waiting for you..

Jimmy Bottlehead

taconnol wrote: »

Just to point out that men don't have the monopoly on this. I have quite a few girlfriends who wish they had met their long-term partners a few years later. If she is as young as you (or even younger) she might be feeling the same way. It's natural for men and women to feel like this.

Originally Posted by Jimmy Bottlehead View Post
I'd take a break from her, spread your wild oats as much (or as little) as needs be and then re-evaluate things with the missus.
Er...don't expect her to be sitting at home waiting for you..

Er...don't expect her to be sitting at home waiting for you..

Sorry yeah, if you break up with her, you are taking the chance of losing her.

beth-lou

Yes it is normal.
Are you missing out? Not neccessarily. If you love your girl, and break up with her to sow your wild oats, you might find that you miss her touch more than any number of strange and exciting encounters. It's a hard one to call. But if you feel it is something you have to do, break up with your girl. Don't go sneaking behind her back. It won't be a nice experience for you, or her if she finds out and will ruin any chance of a reconciliation down the road, if she would be open to that. There is however, a real possibility that she will discover a whole new world and won't want to return to you. I had this experience with a boyfriend of mine. He spent almost two years trying to get me back, but he'd hurt me and I was in college and met loads of new people and I just didn't want to go back, as much as I loved him, too much had happened and I couldn't.

So think carefully about what it is you are going to do. There are two phrases that come to mind:
The grass is always greener and If it ain't broke why fix it.

You are quite young and this relationship may run its course naturally and you both may grow apart and then you can go play the field. But if you really love her, and it sounds as though you do, do you really want to risk the happiness you have with her now?

Best of luck, whatever you decide. But try to be honest which ever way it goes.

cson

+1 to that.

You'll miss the little things more than anything.

The grass is greener where it rains

Redpunto

It is normal for you to feel this way but not if you are in a secure relationship,,are ya missing out, probably not but like someone else said, only you can answer that. If your feelings to cheat are that strong then you need to tell her before you cheat on her. SHe has the right to know