Can any1 Help Problem with teacher

Nirmind

Hi, not sure if any one can help... im having an awful problem with my childs teacher.. last year she was bullied and when i went to the school i was dismissed (over reacting) and they wouldnt listen to my concersn (found out during the summer its common bulling in this school). but despite this she has excelld in her work and got an excel school report.
Were only at the end of the 1st month back and its starting again so far every week there has been a problem maybe i am over reacting but not sure. frist she was denied her lunch as its a banned product (nutella) was on her sandwich (that day the rules came home with his lunch) nothing to eat from 8.30am to 3pm apart from an apple and yogurt
then i found out when she was bored in school as she had all her work done so she done a couple extra pages.. big mistake she was yelled at infront of everyone for doing this that she was not aloud to pass out the class.
the other week she was off school sick and we requested the work she missed be sent home we were told by the teacher no work to be done she had caught up.. now she's in trouble again because she's behind after being off but yet 3days ago was caught up and ahead..
3hours homework for an 8 year old......... please tell me this cant be right??? My child loved school.. but now is so tired and she cried this eve cos she's afraid of the amount she will get tomorrow.
Can anyone advise me what i can do i have requested a meeting waiting to hear back on this one but surly they cant get away with this treatment
Please help

deisemum

As you don't seem to be getting anywhere with the teacher arrange an appointment with the principal. It's very useful to have jotted down your concerns that you can refer to during the meeting in case you get side tracked and may forget to raise all concerns.

In the meantime it might be no harm to have a quite word with another parent and see if she/he can sound out their child (who's in the same class) and see if that child can confirm any of what your child is saying. No harm in double checking and seeing if you're over-reacting or not. If your daughter's version is confirmed then when as it will more than likely be when and not if the teacher/principal try and deny it as your corcerns were dismissed last year you can say that you've checked with other families and they have confirmed what your daughter has said.

If you do not get anywhere with the principal or you're fobbed off, then send a written complaint to the BOM. Having said that chocolate teapots can be more useful in a lot of cases as the structure of BOMs of religious based schools is generally stacked against parents ie chairperson is often the parish priest, then you have the principal, teachers rep, a father, mother, a few people from the outer community and in my boy's school it's normally principals from other schools.

Request a copy of the school's homework policy. All schools are obliged to have one. Generally in primary school pupils shouldn't be getting more than an hour's homework and that's for 6th class. 8 year olds are usually 1st to 3rd class and shouldn't be getting more than 30 - 40 mins let alone 3 hours. Check with other parents how long it takes their children to do their homework.

If the teacher keeps giving too much homework then go by the times mentioned in the homework policy, stop your daughter from doing anymore and put a note in the homework journal that homework was stopped when the time was up. Now the time for homework should be the amount of time doing the actual work not the time dawdling about, topping pencils etc but actual work time.

Regarding the bullying remind the school that they have a duty of care and that schools are now being sued and having to pay substantial compensation where they have been found to have failed in their duty of care. It's not a case of trying to get money out of a school but if they are ignoring or have failed to effectively deal with such a complaint then maybe hitting them financially may be what is required to get them to resolve things. Keep a note of all incidents and also of any witnesses.

Do you know if the teacher has been teaching for long or is even qualified? quite a number aren't qualified. Sounds like the teacher isn't coping.

Ann22

I know how you feel. My 8yr old son has been miserable since going back to school in September. I went in to talk to the teacher.
From the first day back he's been saying he hates his teacher. She seems to be very strict. She uses a black and red mark system for bad and good behaviour. My wee fella is so quiet and timid he's terrified to put a foot wrong. One day for example my son was finished his work early (he's very intelligent, can read really well, loves nature and wildlife.) and went on to the next exercise without being told. His teacher snapped at him 'Did I tell you to do that?!!' Then she made him rub it out. The following week he'd finished his work on this particular day and was fiddling with a pencil and rubber. Another wee lad laughed at him and the teacher asked him why he laughed. Then she gave my son a black mark for this. What does she expect? An 8yr old boy to sit like a robot when he has nothing to do when he was afraid to work on??? She also punishes the whole class if one or two boys misbehave.
Every day I would walk home with him and he would be in tears. He would also cry before bedtime he was so unhappy. I was demented not knowing what to do. I was afraid that if I went in to her she would really single him out.
So one morning he was complaining of a headache and he just looked terrible going into the yard. I went into the classroom where the teacher was alone to tell her to ring me if his headache didn't go away and while I was there I had a wee word in her ear-making sure she knew how stressed my son was. Things have improved greatly since then. He came out of school today happy as Larry after winning a 'student of the month' certificate and toy.

noby

Meet the teacher and the principal to voice your concerns.
As for the homework, no teacher gives 3 hours homework to a child, especially an 8 year old. Either your child is having trouble with it, and there's no point spending so long with it, or the child is dawdling. Again, bring it up at the meeting. The teacher should give you a guideline time for each part of the homework.

lostinnappies

Thats just awful. Here you have a child willing and able to learn and exceed and yet is punished for doing so. It makes my blood boil. No one else has any right to tell you what to feed your child. A policy is just that ... a policy, its not law and even if you decided to pack your childs bag full of sweeties and crisps (not that i would advise that) no one has a right to tell you or make you feed them anything different.

To be honest i just sounds like a bad school. Compose a letter stating everything you have just said and name names, send one copy to the the Board of Education, send a second copy (without the names) to your local paper in the "Dear editor" section.

Some teachers seem to have this "high and mighty..... im know better then you" attitude. Some seem to be stubborn and stuck in their ways and will not respond to anything exept the possabillity of losing their jobs.

I dont know why it is that we accept poor teachers like the OP has. If there is any bullying it is the TEACHERS responsibility to ensure it ends because while they are under the teachers care, it is the teacher who will be held accountable should anything happen.

deisemum

I agree with lostinnappies, at the end of the day the parents are the ones who have the right to decide what their children eat unless there's some medical risk or something like that. Just regarding the nutella, do you know if there's a child with a genuine allergy to nuts or products with nuts as that could be a life and death situation?

Personally I'm all in favour of the healthy food policy in schools but if the school hadn't previously informed you of what is encouraged and what's not then I think it was a bit much to stop a child from eating the lunch you provided.

Fortunately most of the teachers that my children have had so far have been very good but there's been 3 that were nasty, one in particular is a real nasty b1tch and thinks she knows better than everyone ie. she insisted that children have 26 baby teeth but 20 is the norm and my son said that it was 20 and that he'd checked with me, I'm a former dental nurse but she ate him out of it and insisted that the norm was 26 and that I was wrong.

noby

Before you start composing letters, as suggested by LIN, I would meet with the teacher and/or principal first.

G&T

Dont put anything in writing yet,
you are too emotional.
Request a meeting with the teacher,
tell her about the problems you child is having and
ask for advise,
You cant blame her until you know both sides of the story,
maybe your little one is a differnt child at school,

It is in the best interests of the child that you work this out
with the teachers help,
too many parents now feel they know better than everyone,
but you cant be an expert at everything;)

Nirmind

Thanks everone for your advise...
the teacher in question is the principal.. i agree with double checking the story.. not that i dont trust her but kids have can tell great stories so i had a word wit a few of the mums in the school this afternoon and one lad in my daughters class has the same problem ( he has a nut allergy hence the ban which i respect just one of those days when the press was empty) he gets roard at all the time and loads of homework his mum has been in severly times to the school and she said today she wants to take him out but he said only if my daughter could go to new school with him..last year i wanted to take her out of that hell but she wanted to stay with him.. wish i went with my gut.......
as for messing and time wasting god shes great never have to ask her to start her homework.. straight into it after a bit to eat.. shes a reader and is always writing little stories so i know its not a slow or not able to do it problem there just really has been that much work..
As for the BOM i did look into it but its ran by the mammy squad... when my daughter started school my husband and i werent married and i have asked round unwed mums are treated diff ( ie guess whos not on the board) the local priest is the head of the bom then followed by principal then teacher then parents.
i have arranged a meeting with her but must say after speaking with the other mums and reading your advise i am a lot calmer and feel more prepared.
after the meeting if nothing is resolved i'm goin to arrange meeting with priest.
Thanks again

Dfens

God, that is just terrible behaviour from an adult that is supposed to be a role model for these young children.
If the chat with the priest doesn't make any difference I would treathen them with a letter to the Dept of Education, Minister for Education and the tabloids....

Redpunto

It is the teachers and principals job to ensure that once you drop your child off at school that they are being cared for and in a safe environment. If you do not trust the adults in charge of your child and they are unwilling to change their behaviour to your child then you may have to find a school who is willing to give your child that security.

lauratkd

As a teacher (secondary) we are also told to "document everything"! I would recommend the same to you so that if you do meet with the principal, which I think is a good idea, you can have very cut and dry facts about what is going on.

luckat

Maybe you should change your kid's school next year?

A friend of mine had a kid who was bullied in primary school. And in secondary school - the other kids used to call him "The Freak". By secondary school, he'd stopped telling his parents. (I didn't know about this; a mutual friend told me, and I was horrified that she hadn't told his parents.)

He was obviously anorexic all through school, and has only now - after college - started to come out of it and blossom a little.

Anyone who doesn't think bullying is important should read Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult - a vivid fictional evocation of bullying.

hussey

I think the best course of action is to talk to the teacher.
We all know there are 3 sides to every story, in this case, your child's, the teacher's and the truth.

We all like to think our own is telling the truth, but sometimes we all leave out certain parts of the story that can leave them in bad light.

So before going all guns blazing, talk in a calm manner, there may have been parts where your child left out.

deisemum

I agree with hussey, keep calm but be assertive. If you go in all guns blazing then you'll have lost any chance of a successful outcome.

Just because your child is a child and the teacher is an adult doesn't mean that the adult is always right. On one of my childcare courses I was once told something that has stuck with me many years later and thats
"Not all children tell lies and not all adults tell the truth". Unfortunately there are still some adults that try to fob off children's versions of something just because they're a child.

As I said in an earlier post it's good to double check your child's version of things with other parents and in this case it looks like your child is telling the truth as another parents has had similar problems.