I Love You!

LegacyUser

Hey been going out with girl for a month now and I know I love her, she's everything I've been looking for and I can see myself being with her forever! I wanna tell her this and maybe tell her I love her! But I'm afraid she might think it was too soon?? After what length of time did most people here say "I love you" or any advice for me?

Zzippy

In my experience, it would be a bad idea to tell her so soon. You might freak her out and scare her off.

Look, you're in the first flush of a relationship, hormones are going mad, and I bet the only thing you can think about is her. But that's probably not love yet - its infatuation. Love is something much deeper and takes time to develop - it involves mutual respect, appreciation of the person's personality, including all their little foibles and faults, and true affection for who they are.

Love and infatuation are easily confused, hell we've all made that mistake. But telling her so soon that you love her might come across too strong, and she's likely to be a bit freaked out. Take it easy, enjoy the relationship and take it one step at a time. IMO a month is too soon to be saying it, leave it a while before getting so serious. If you say it now its because you're looking for confirmation that she feels the same, and you're likely to be disappointed...

cHaTbOx

Woahh don't say anything for a good while yet

• You may scare her off
• May think you are not being sincere
• How can you be sure?

Just relax and enjoy yourself

Latchy

You wanna tell her you love her right but what if she dont love you ? You may be expecting her to feel same but if she doesnt then your left in a no mans land of sorts and she might feel pressuriesd a bit because of your admissions .Hold onto what you got for now would be my advice .

towel401

random chatbox wrote: »

Woahh don't say anything for a good while yet

• You may scare her off
• May think you are not being sincere
• How can you be sure?

Just relax and enjoy yourself

girls are very easily scared these days. probably caused by all the paedophile + stalker stories going around

Crannog

Agree with other posters that it is not a good idea 'cos she may not feel the same yet.

But, tell her something. Compliments and hints that you care are great at this stage. It will encourage her to invest her feelings in the relationship if she feels that you already care for her.

Try simple silly stuff like:-

"you're not too bad, ya know"
"I could get fierce fond of you"

.. you get my general drift. Just make up something that suits you.

And take your time. It's all about the timing. Wait for her to catch up with you.

dory

Also kind of depends on how old you are. If you're 15, I'd say wait a while yet. If you're 55 that's a different story.

(By 'kind of' I really did mean kind of. I know age doesn't mean everything)

MugMugs

Tell her how ye feel.

star-pants

From a girl's POV - I'd be a little taken aback if a guy said 'I love you' after a month, I'm not saying you don't feel that way, but I'd wait a while, make sure it's love and not just new honeymoon period feelings. And as others said, give her a chance to catch up. Even if I felt I was falling for someone after a few weeks I wouldn't say anything for fear of scaring them off.

Just tell her you're quite fond of her etc, those kinds of things, go from there.

kraggy

You're not in love, you're infatuated.

You can't possibly love her. You only know her a month. It's easy to get swept away by emotions when the feeling is good.

By all means go with it but don't ruin it by launching into such deep territory early on. Hold your horses and you'll be glad in a couple of years time when you're still together.

Seriously, take the advice on here and don't say anything.

cfcgal

My Boyfriend told me he loved me after about a month. But i already had it in my mind that i loved him too, i've been with lads b4 but this was different and i knew it...but being the scared girl i am i had to wait for him...but thank god worked out he said it just as i was thinking it ....

The night he told me he did say he was scared i was going freak out but i assured him nothing he could say would make me leave him........ so den he plucked up the courage! I know lots will say its too soon but were together almost 6 months now and the feelings havent changed were both still mad about each other and even if i didnt love him when he had said it he had said he wasnt expecting me to say it back and to wait if i needed to coz he wasnt going anywhere so its prob important reassure her if she doesnt feel the same (yet) that u can wait and its no biggie and u just wanted her to know how u feel
Hope all goes well for u

Latchy

Yes ,sounds like infatuation . Best work on building up the friendship over the weeks and months as boy /girlfriend OP rather than possibly freaking the girl out .Remember nice compliments are fine, but nobody likes to be smothered .

spiderman1885

You just know! You'll know its the right time cos it'll jus come naturally, and you wont even think about saying it, you will be for want of a better word comfortable enough with her just to know!

Marksie

If you feel it, express it.
But do so without expectations that its going to be said back.

Don't feel offended if its not returned.

No-one can tell you for sure its an infatuation or not, as they are only expressing their views and experiences and projecting them onto you.

All these little "rules" and games people play when hedging around emotions are bull.
There are so many not able to express emotions because they have been conditioned into it and fear rejection.

Yes, its always a chance to say something and have to worry about it not being returned.
This is especially true when you may be more open emotionally and the other may be more reserved or withdrawn. You may fall inot the trap of "they are not giving me back what i give to them".
If you can say it openly, without the expectation that it is going to produce a flood of returned feelings, then say it.

Go with your gut

TheDriver

ONe poster caught my attention, depends on your age to be honest. If you have been with others, fecked around enough and are old enough i.e. 30 where you know whats what and when something is much more than infactuation. Personally, if i don't get on with someone after 1 week, i don't bother anymore as its easy to spot good things.

LG26

Im with my boyfriend nearly 7 months and am mad about him but I am not ready to hear him say he loves me yet because I don't think I would be ready to say it back. Everyone is different so if what you feel is Love then tell her but like other posters have said don't feel let down if she doesn't say it back as you are only together a month.

Personally I would show her how you feel rather than saying it as it is pretty soon and she may not be in that place yet.

TheDriver

Can I say the cliched phrase, especially if you have been around the block and fecked around aplenty, "you know when you know".

Tommy the Cat

I told the missus that I loved her after a month or so. Pretty much knew that she felt the same way though. Its a tough one, but if you feel it say it.

LegacyUser

tell her how you feel!
nevermind these nay sayers!how do they know your only infatuated?
being infatuated is part of being in love.
all these people who say your gonna freak her out have a chip on their shoulder about something or another from the past.
who can define love?
noone but yourself.
if you do end up freaking her out then it was never ment to be.
my opinion.

Annie Bananie

I hate games and rules. If you feel it say it

Agree with other posters that said that dont be upset if you do not get the same back. Everyone need different amount of time to be sure of their feelings. Also if you have been in several relationships, you usually know by experience when you love someone or if its still just a crush.

I knew my current bf through Internet for about 2 years (just as friends nothing more) before I met him for the first time in real life. We hit it off the first day and after that it took him only 2 weeks to tell me he loved me. I was very happy to hear him say those words, even if it took me a little longer to say it back