Disrespectful to me

LegacyUser

So theres this guy I was seeing recently. Technically we werent going out or anything but i thought maybe it was gonna go somewhere.then i discovered that he has been posting messages on social networking sites telling different girls they are "nice looking" or "Hot" in their photos.
I feel really hurt by this. i know i dont really have the right to be jealous about it but it still makes me feel like crap and as if im not good enough for him.
Im not a supermodel but im not ugly either. he doesnt know that i know about this. should i let on i know & tell him how insensitive i think it is? or should i just blank him completely

Seraphina

you're completely over reacting, he is perfectly entitled to find whoever he wants attractive, and tell them that if he so wishes.

you should like a class A bunny boiler to me, you're not even with him and you think you have a right to tell him what he can and can't do? blank him? like ffs!

in fact actually, do blank him. he'll realise how immature you are and move on.

star-pants

May I ask how many dates ye had been on?
or if ye were still 'dating' when he posted these comments? Just you say that you 'were' seeing him?

Just, I know in the first few weeks - depending on how many dates or if just flirting online is going on, both parties can still express interests in other people. You can't really call him on it. He's allowed to look as are you (technically) until exclusivity is established. I can understand you wouldn't be feeling great about them but he's not really doing anything wrong unless ye were official

beth-lou

Seraphina wrote: »

you're completely over reacting, he is perfectly entitled to find whoever he wants attractive, and tell them that if he so wishes.

you should like a class A bunny boiler to me, you're not even with him and you think you have a right to tell him what he can and can't do? blank him? like ffs!

in fact actually, do blank him. he'll realise how immature you are and move on.

Eh ..... you're kind of over reacting there yourself.


If you are just seeing him, well it's not really like you're in a commited relationship and he's probably been telling people on those sites their hot long before he met you.

If you were in a commited relationship and he was looking to hook up with people then I'd have an issue. But it sounds like harmless admiration from him of total strangers.

Loose Lips

OP: It sounds as if you are a little bit insecure and resentful of other women. Treat yourself to a makeover and splash out on a new frock, so that you feel like a million dollars. Then meet up with him and give him the night of his life!

Slan

MJOR

I understand that this has knocked you for six but why were you "checking up on him"?? Sounds to me that maybe you want/need to be with someone that is more open with his feelings because clearly you don't know where you stand...

Anti

OP, Cop on. You are not in a relationship which you admited. The lad has to keep his options open. If you really dont like it, talk to him about it.

LegacyUser

Ok so in response, Im not some kind of bunny boiler,his page is public & my friend informed me about it. Anyway he is a free agent & he can do what he wants. I was just a bit disappointed thats all. I dont think i could be in a relationship with someone who publically makes a fool of me

Anti

How is he publically making a fool out of you? Sounds like you have some real issues to be honest.

AckwelFoley

MEN! wrote: »

So theres this guy I was seeing recently. Technically we werent going out or anything

All the text you have made after that statment makes me some what scared.

My next door neighbour who is single is really sexy.. i like her.. we talk regularly, we are not going out, but on saturday nights she sometimes brings home a man and has sex with him.. is she disrespecting me?

Jack Sheehan

Que? Publically making a fool of you? You're not even going out for Christ's sake. The dude has a right to post on as many bebos or whatever as he likes.

MizzLolly

Ouch! Some ridiculous replies there OP, don't mind them!

You do sound like you're genuinely upset though, seems like you were hoping for more to come of it than he was. The fact that you said he doesn't know you seen his comments or are upset tells me that you two don't communicate too well. I don't get the impression that you've been out with him much, there seems to be some gaps between what you're feeling and what the situation actually is. I'd go with a guess that you've had a bad relationship experience in the past, (though I could be wrong) but from my own personal experience, I found that after being cheated on, I felt inadequate and felt very defensive where guys were concerned. I snapped out of it quickly though, I learned to isolate the present situations and look at them for what they are rather than what my past experience was. You can't possibly expect every guy you speak to, to be there exclusively for you. Think about that for real, that's definately not something I want anyway! It's different within a relationship obviously.

From reading your post, I do think that maybe you feel inadequate to these other girls. You commented straight away on your appearance in your first post! First thing you need to do is become comfortable with what you've got. Don't mind anyone else. You two aren't together so for the time being, he is perfectly entitled to treat other girls the way he treats you. (I know it doesn't feel very nice but it's up to you to fix that) You have as much right to talk/text/meet/date other guys aswell. The fact that you're not doing any of this suggests that you are expecting more than just a date from this guy.

Try talk to him and suss him out a bit more. At the end of the day, it's your own insecurities that's making you feel bad, not him. You don't deserve any of the stupid posts of 'advice' you've recieved here but you do need to step back and look at why this is affecting you so much.

Pyr0

MizzLolly wrote: »

Ouch! Some ridiculous replies there OP, don't mind them!

I think they're fine to be honest ! Yeah she may be upset about it but the bottom line is that she has no control over what he says to other women. If they were going out it'd be a different story, but they're not so she has no right to act like she must be respected completely when it comes to him saying stuff to other women.

MagicMarker

Unless he's 16 then it's pretty immature to be posting ''you're hot'' on the likes of bebo, i would have a problem with the immaturity if anything.

But yes, OP, you are over reacting to the point of being a complete bunny boiler.

You sound young, you'll learn.

Jack B. Badd

MEN! wrote: »

I dont think i could be in a relationship with someone who publically makes a fool of me

I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who appears to want to control me before I even started going out with them. OP, I think you need to take a long hard look at your expectations of your interactions with others.

cute_cow

MEN! wrote: »

Technically we werent going out or anything but i thought maybe it was gonna go somewhere.

You have said it yourself, you weren't going out and not in a relationship so whats the big deal? If you were in a relationship it would be different. He is entitled to say other people are cute or whatever as he has no girlfriend (technically).

Also you say you rhought it was going somewhere, did you say it to him? Did you have the talk? If not, he doesn't realise how you feel, and that you want more.

Don't blank him, talk to him!!

MugMugs

Eh Blank him and do him a favour.

To be upset over this I would hate to see what would happen should he forget to wipe his feet at the front door.

Get rid of him and let him have his lucky escape !

Otherwise, calm down and cop on. If it is fidelity you are concerned about then try having a relationship before you judge. The fact that he is openly admiring people is of little relevance.

You need to grow up and deal with it.

Carrigart Exile

MEN! wrote: »

Ok so in response, Im not some kind of bunny boiler,his page is public & my friend informed me about it. Anyway he is a free agent & he can do what he wants. I was just a bit disappointed thats all. I dont think i could be in a relationship with someone who publically makes a fool of me

how is he making a fool of you; you are not in a relationship

Have you made your feelings known to him?

Or is it your friends who are winding you up knowing you have a crush on him

petethebrick

Sounds lik the OP is talking about compare hotness or a similiar application on facebook. I have a go at them for the laugh sometimes, theres no harm in it. In fact I think Its nice to pay people compliments. Its not leading to anywhere...