separated woman

LegacyUser

Have met a very nice woman on line and had a few dates. i find her really attractive and great fun. she seems to like me too but wont meet me too openly because she doesnt want her ex or his family to cause any problems. So we go out, have a snog in the car and away we go. to be honest i want to take things further. but i feel she will hold back. Am i being niaive in thinking things will change.

Beruthiel

kevinhunthunt wrote: »

she seems to like me too but wont meet me too openly because she doesnt want her ex or his family to cause any problems.

What sort of problems?
If they are seperated and she intends to divorce him, then what business of theirs is it exactly?

not yet

Sounds extremly ropey to me.........

Her ex is either still involved or he wants to be,either way be careful.

chickenhawk

Yep usually when an ex is in the equation it gets messy. Also people who don't want you to meet other people with them or be seen with you have something to hide or are using you for something.

LegacyUser

all those thoughts have occurred to me. she says he is happy to be separated from her but doesnt want her to see anyone else. i do l;ike her but dont want a situation were i have to watch my back etc. it seems a pity and he should try to control like he does

Colonel_McCoy

Are you certain she is really separated??

LegacyUser

think so, she answers phone at any time etc, maybe its her way of keeping me at arms length

McGinty

Hi Op

I would give it a bit longer, she could be using the ex-husband as an excuse to take things slowly, having said that it could be that she is still married, but do consider if you are trying to rush things along too quickly, she may be too nervous to say take it slower, so is using him as an excuse, if there is no change after a few more dates then possibly reconsider.

LegacyUser

Regular poster, but went unreg for this.

Ok, i can see where she's coming from. I am seperated almost 2 years now. There may be lots of reasons why she doesnt want to rush into the whole "im out with this guy publicly, you may now all gossip at will". Do you come from a small town? Does she have children? she may well be seening someone else.

As for the ex, simply put, he didint want her, but he doesnt want anyone else to have her either. He may make things more difficult for you as a couple (basically just being a p***k if he lives in the same general area) so maybe she needs to be sure youre long term potential or it's not worth the hassle. Believe me when i tell you it's may not be that she doesnt like you, its just so complicated if the ex wont let go.

Talk to her about her ex, discuss your feelings. She wont bite, and if she's says she's not ready then move on. You need to be open with her. If she thinks the ex is agressive / a danger...then you NEED to know what youre getting into.

Loose Lips

kevinhunthunt wrote: »

Have met a very nice woman on line and had a few dates. i find her really attractive and great fun. she seems to like me too but wont meet me too openly because she doesnt want her ex or his family to cause any problems. So we go out, have a snog in the car and away we go. to be honest i want to take things further. but i feel she will hold back. Am i being niaive in thinking things will change.

If you really like her then don't try and push her into going faster than she wants to go herself.

barbiegirl

Depending on where the OP and this lady lives I can understand. Whether it is anyone elses business or not, if it is a close community, her seeing someone new can and probably will, cause issues.
If you get serious she will judge when it is right to go public. Be patient. Also as someone else said double check she is seperated, but give her the benefit of the doubt.

_blank_

If she doesn't want to be seen out with blokes, what the hell is she doing using internet dating and going on dates?