How to tell my daughter I'm moving out.

Help!!

Not sure how to word this but any help would be appreciated.

Basically I am splitting up with my partner after 9 years and we have an 9 year old daughter, We tried to work things out but it hasn’t worked and we decided, well I decided it would be for the best if I moved out. I have found a place and will be moving out soon but I’m a dilemma of what to tell my daughter. I can’t tell her I’m moving out because I don’t love her mom anymore as she will think I don’t love her so don’t know what to say to her. She is going to be devastated when she finds out about it, she is beginning to pickup on things at this stage as I have been looking for the last 3 weeks and has become really attached to me lately (not that she wasn’t already but you know kids they sense trouble).

I’m not moving far away from the house, it’s about a 15min walk so if she needs me for anything I can be there pretty quickly and me and the ex are on good terms aswell which helps a lot as we decided I can call up and see her most days after work and take her for a few hours on a Saturday and Sunday. I haven’t told the place I’m taking either that I have a daughter as I’m afraid they won’t give me the place. My daughter will always be with the ex so it’s not an issue of her living with me but might call down on Saturday or Sunday for a few hours or to see where I live and all

So any help would be greatly appreciated

Block G Raptor

Kids can surprise us with how resilient they can be. I would suggest that you and your x/partner sit down together with her and explain that you both need some time apart and that your going to move out, the most important thing that you absolutely MUST make sure of is that she knows that it is in no way her fault and that you both love her very much. You could also try and put a positive spin on it by adding that she'll now have to houses that she can go to and maybe if you can spare the space you could have a room for her and maybe her friends to hang out. hope this helps and good luck with everything . No matter which it goes it will be hard on her but with time she'll bounce back and get used to the situation

claiva

unfortunately news like that is a childs worse nightmare and she will definitely look at how you both are dealing with it as a barometer of how to respond to it. You know the way kids are....they fall over and look at you...if you're all "OMG are you ok" and panicky....they respond by screaming and worrying that they have broken their back. But if you smile and say "you're ok come here and I'll kiss it better", they tend to lessen the hysteria. So, if you and your ex can be really positive about it and also try not to be argumentative with each other or come across as being secretive, your daughter will get through it. Make sure she understands that you will still be around a lot.
Good luck m8

Nevyn

Be honest with her and give her as mucn information as possible so she doesn't worry.

NextSteps

Never ever argue in front of her, or put your partner down (even slightly) in front of her. That can be devastating.

Help!!

thanks for advice.. i know not to argue in front of her just its hard to do something like this when she is so young, but as you all said just sit down and talk to her it's the best way.

cheers

littlebitdull

Tell her the truth. Thats the main thing. Keep reminding her how much you love her. Its good that your still going to be near, and she will be able to just pop down to you.

Can you perhaps bring her to see your new place before you move, so she knows just how close you still are? Maybe let her sort out some new duvet cover for her bed there? Let her see she still has a space in your life?

Remember - its better to come from a broken home than to live in one.

You will all get through this if you keep calm, keep talking, keep loving your daughter.

Wishing you all the best of luck.

lostexpectation

make a date to come back to visit her when you tell her your leaving.

Kildrought

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lostinnappies

Be honest and truthful. Be to the point and blunt. You dont want her sitting there night after night waiting for the day you come back. She wont understand, she will get upset, she will try and convince you to stay. If you are leaving the leave, a clean cut. Any wishy washing will only confuse her. The night you leave perhaps you can bring her with you for the night. This will serve to show her that you are not that far away and you are not leaving her. Make sure she goes back the next night, otherwise she will be confused as to who she has to stay with and feel like her loyalties are split.