Confused as hell

LegacyUser

Hi all, don't really know why I'm posting this here as I normally keep these kinda thoughts to myself. I was out the other night and ended up seeing my ex of 3 years, we had a nice chat in the beer garden and that was it. Ever since breaking up around 3 years ago we've stayed in touch and act like old friends when ever we see each other, theres a lot of banter and slagging between us. This is despite what happened just after we broke up - long story short the day after I broke up with her she scored her ex who had been a major issue with our relationship, basically becaused he used/treated her like ****,myself and him had a fight,not the proudest moment of my life but what is done is done. Her scoring him was obviously very hurtful for me and it still gets me down when I think about it, since then we've had a few casual flings with each other and I havn't thought about it since. Apparently some of my mates seen her getting quite close to him a few months ago and I felt a bit betrayed over it,but she is her own woman so I put it aside,there was no point in saying anything - more fool on her I suppose.

Well the other night after I got home from the club she rang me and asked if I wanted to come down to her house - I immeadiately thought 'Booty Call' and said fine I made my way down. For whatever reason we didn't have sex, as frustrating as it was to me at the time, just fooled around and acted like when we used to go out with each other - it felt very comforting/comfortable/intimate - well it just felt right. We were staying in her sisters room (she was away and had a double bed so it seemed like the best option) and the next morning she had to go into her own room to give the impression she stayed there all night. As soon as her folks went to work I decided to make like a tree and gtfo. Since then I've been left with many questions and I guess thats where you guys can helP.

As i said 'it' felt right when I was there and it kinda got me thinking of persuing a relationship with her again,we made a great couple - she was my first true love and all that.

There was some mixed signals however, like us not getting jiggy when I came down - whats that all about? I tend to over analyise everything and am kinda thinking at the moment she's thinking it was a mistake - maybe she kinda felt guilty about me going all the way up to her and decided she just wanted to fool around to save face/be polite or whatever.

The issue of her and her ex, it was the most betrayed I've every felt in my life, altough I've forgiven her It still hurts, i dont think she realizes it though. It was my best mate who seen her holding hands/sitting on his lap or whatever - and despite her having told me numerous times she despises him I can imagine her scoring him again. The mad thing is, I probably would have liked the fella had she not warped my view on him when we where with eachother.

Do youse think I should try and persue something again or just leave it as it has been for the past 3 years?Am I crazy for even bother after what happened with her ex? Do you think those mixed signals are valid or would there be anyother reasons for them? Is there anything I'm missing from all that? What should I have for lunch?

All your help is much appreciated, I guess I really had to get all that off my chest as I can't articulate my feeelings to my mates.

Looking foward to seeing what you think.

Confused!

Silverfish

Run a mile.


Sounds like she likes to keep her exes interested to boost her own self esteem.
I know a good few girls who pulled this kind of thing, as soon as an ex seemed to be getting over them they'd start the texts / late night phonecalls, give them hope, take it away, and keep this up for months or years. They used to say it was a lot of fun, and made them feel good to know he was still 'after' them.
But they'd have no intentions of getting back with them.

If she wanted you back properly, she'd have said so at some stage in those 3 years.

AnonoBoy

I agree with Silverfish.

If you want her back say it. Have a talk. Maybe she's as confused as you but I doubt it. Sounds like she likes the attention - been there, done that myself and let's just say it's a pretty ****ty, ill-fitting t-shirt.

krpc

I agree with, Silverfish. I think returning to her will be returning to a relationship of doubt and suspicion re: her ex.

It seems quite clear that this girl doesn't seem to know what she wants and is keen to play along with whatever takes her fancy at any particular point in time. You could just simply be the flavour of the month.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

not yet

Not in a million years would I go back....

She seems to want the best of both worlds,and believe me it would wreck your head thinking about the past. try go back to your mindset pre meeting her,if that doesn't work just blank her.

missmatty

Run like hell. Seriously, no good will come of it.

Wagon

I wholly endorse legging it. And cut contact. Because she's not going to go down without a fight.

TheZohanS

She just wants to pull all the strings...run away...fast.

LegacyUser

The general consensus is quite obvious, run to the hills! If I were to talk to my mates about it I'd actually say they'd say the same thing. I was really toying with the idea - but if i'm being honest to myself I'd probably be better off without her.

Thanks alot for views, it definately helps to get an outside perspective on things.

Cheers

No Longer Confused!

Fratton Fred

it feels right because it is comfortable and you get your leg over. try thinking with your brain (Hard for us blokes I know) and you will sort it out.

If she wants casual sex with you it may sound appealing, but it is a mess waiting to happen.