Musak

Wagon

I'm currently on the phone to Dell customer service. The music they have playing is a dodgy electro version on Stairway to Heaven. It sounds like Phil Collins wrote the drums for it

So I post the question, what's the crappiest musak you've been forced to listen to while on hold?

c - 13

Sky phone line, it used to be some sort of stupid whale like background noises and the automated voice "You call is important ... blah blah blah". Not even proper hold music.

I quite enjoy ringing some of our middle eastern offices, they have arabic and bollywood style hold music.

Dudess

The worst is that tinkling thing with no accompaniment - it's just like one hand playing a child's miniature piano, and it's usually Greensleeves.

Kold

Greensleeves is a tune tbh.

I've heard some crap before but like C-13, the worst is when it's not even real music, just a voice message repeated ad-infinitum with a few random chords in the back ground.

One of my mates works for one of the councils and their hold music is James Taylor. Sometimes i give him a ring just to hear The Real JT (tm) in action.

"When you're down.......and troubled........and you neeeeeeeeeed a helpin' hand..."

Honey-ec

Dudess wrote: »

The worst is that tinkling thing with no accompaniment - it's just like one hand playing a child's miniature piano, and it's usually Greensleeves.

I will actually hang up if that comes on. Maybe it's a cunning ploy to reduce the queues on their IVR???

O2 used to have Leftfield, which was actually quite relaxing, but they got rid of that.

Creature

In a few months time when every shop has Do They Know It's Christmas on around the clock you'll be begging for muzak, or even worse pan pipes.

Wagon

The four seasons used to cheer me up, but now whenever i hear it on hold, it just sounds like a ringtone

gerTheGreat

For me, it's either McAfee or Microsoft. Can't stand their msuak. Worst of all, the sound tends to fluxuate, so you can't even leave it on speaker and busy yourself with something else, because you may miss the operater.

WindSock

Dudess wrote: »

The worst is that tinkling thing with no accompaniment - it's just like one hand playing a child's miniature piano, and it's usually Greensleeves.

Or Fur Elise

Delirium

One of our customers has enya as their hold music. They're probably hoping to calm down the callers, doesn't work.:mad:

Suzyq

Scottish Provident -Craig David song 7 Days. Mind-numbing stuff

Wazdakka

Green sleeves and all are used cause they are royalty free.
Alot of small to medium office phone systems have the horrible 8bit video game style versions of them build in as an option,
Companies have to pay licencing fees on whatever they have as hold music,
Even if its the radio..

Dardania

In work we have a panpipes type CD brought in by one of the directors... quite ghey!

O2 do seem to have good "brand" music..leftfield, then fatboy slim. Don't know who they have now...but I'm sure some hip marketing type has it sussed.

Wagon

Dardania wrote: »

...but I'm sure some hip marketing type has it sussed.

I can imagine him, waltzing into work, his fancy ring tone at full volume as he get's a phone call from Kate Moss about an upcoming restraining order. Changes his name from Joe Bloggs to John Stormme, the 8bit sound king of Irritatingnamegoeshere Corp.

Wanker. What's that stuff playing when you ring the tax office?

Silenceisbliss

usually the "chill out" music...crap that it is on the phone.

I hate being put on hold....thats why i call those numbers, put the phone down, whatever, wait for a reply. they say "hello", i say; "hello may i help you?"

confusion...karma

Turd Ferguson

I ring into the Nuns Helpline alot and they have one nun singing Ave Maria over and over...

taidghbaby

ring shanks in ballymount and ask them to put you on hold-a fuzzy version of the original 'hey baby'

SpookyDoll

Christmas musak is deffo the worst, although I have been forced to leave shops that were playing Dido (Dodo), The Cranberries (Dangleberries), or The Corrs (Weeping sores)etc

Dord

The internal hold music for Bord Gais was hilarious, some wacky electro stuff. Better than your average hold music though.

Dord

Dord wrote: »

....some wacky electro stuff......

This just reminded me.

I worked in a music wholesalers (sold to virgin, golden discs etc) for mainly Irish country music. We were allowed to play whatever we wanted over the speakers in work as we didn't really have walk-in customers. Everything was mail-order. We were also allowed to put on our own hold music and it was invariably aphex Twin or Squarepusher or even a bit of....."Monkey Drummer"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ZGIrNf71Q

Capt'n Midnight

Wagon wrote: »

I'm currently on the phone to Dell customer service.

At one stage they had some trad music like the Wolf Tones or something , really went down with the UK customers :rolleyes:

Dave!

On the phone to Manchester United support line..... Can't remember the chant, but it was just repeated over and over and over and over and over and over........

I was on the phone for 2 hours.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

javaboy

Solitaryman666 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Nothing to do with royalties I'm afraid. Bad connections and crappy sound quality are all just part of the service!

Ruu_Old

My mortgage company usually has some funky stuff. Some Barry White today. Now that was after I had to speak to the machine.

Machine: Please say or type your account number
Me: 1234567
Machine: I have your account number as "123455", is that correct?
Me: Feck!
Machine: I'm sorry, I don't understand. Lets try it again. Please say or-
Me: Balls
Machine: Ok, let me transfer you to a customer service representative.

Last time I called Dell a few weeks ago they had some rockin' 80s stuff, Duran Duran and Culture Club.

Honey-ec

Solitaryman666 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

If you're ringing from your mobile it's because they use a DTX signal, which doesn't tend to work very well with certain types of music.

Wagon

Dell seem to have a playlist of stuff. Most place just play the same song over and over again.

Sherifu

It'd be nice if there was a service that monitored the line and rang you back when someone answers.

Only a matter of time before Google get in on that i'd say.

Stephen

Some places do that already, like BT. They get you to type in your number and hang up, and it rings you back when your call gets to the front of the queue.

carlybabe1

on hold to 02 at the mo, jeeesssuuuusss.
started off like this

5mins later:)

10mins later;)
1omins after that:rolleyes:

time still ticking away

just looked to see how long im on hold 27mins & 50secs :eek:

of course, the other phone is ringin now, and if i answer it .....:mad::mad::mad:
ALL WHILE ****TY GUITAR MUSIC IS BUZZIN IN THE BACKGROUND< THE SAME 5 BARS AAAAARRRRGGGHH

fifth

When I've been transferring calls within my own company where I work I've heard stuff from Red hot chili peppers...to bon jovi.

S.I.R

was on hold before with Gateway of all companys...


sounded strangely like Chocolate rain... or had the same s*** keyboard sounds anyways

Black Swan

"Fly me to the moon..." or whatever lyrics from some ole song that my Gran would like.

Wazdakka

Just off the phone to a company in germany.

They didnt have any hold music at all..
Its freaky how you miss it.

So anyway theres me humming away to myself to break the silence.


About two min later, just when I'm getting into it I get a very worried german "Hello??" from the other end of the phone.. None of that clicking noise you normally get, Just Bam, busted humming smoke on the water..

Getting a quote from them and not laughing my ass off was pretty tricky.