Watch your whistle

coldfire1x

Just before their first long deployment two navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: “You must be sensitive to your wives’ emotional needs,” he said adding, “Never, ever, whistle while you pack.”

Perfect fit

Customer: “I’d like to try on that dress in the window”. Saleslady: “I’m sorry, madam, you’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else”.

Life insurance

Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, “Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?” The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, “Probably, a life sentence.”

What a relief

A moron tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn’t to use the stairs until the cast came off. Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery. “Oh good,” he responded. “Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?” “Yes,” said the doctor, “if you will promise to be careful.”

“I can’t tell you what a relief it will be,” he sighed. “It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time.”

rocky25

Good 'uns