My Friends' Spirituality

Nailz

Right lads and lassies, I don't want to go to PI because I never go on it and sometimes the answers aren't truthful as they aren't allowed to give help that seems aggressive, but please, fill your boots if needed.

My mate, he's the best lad in the world, I love him to bits, and that's no kidding, I love him (not homo like), and he's a Protestant and I'm a Catholic... but there is nothing wrong there as we don't give a shìt either way. But he went down to this religion camp down near Avoca in Wicklow over a weekend, and he came back singing loads of group songs and has a whrist band saying WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), also saying he has become very religious since that. I'm not a religious gawson, but being really religious bothers me, don't ask me why it just fùcking bothers me. Seeing as I love the lad and he's my best friend, I try and not look bothered by making my usual jokes about Jesus like; WWJD, and I'd say "Keep on partyin'" or "Keep on rockin'" and offering my 'Jesus is Coming - Look Busy' shirt.

But as a friend, I don't know what to make of it, I blank it out alot, sometimes I even forget he's protestant, but every so offen, I'm reminded of his spirituality. I don't think it'll ever do anything thing to our friendship, but a remidy for my brain would be nice. Help? Also if you have stories simular, pray tell... (:D, see what I did there!)

ChocolateSauce

I'd advise you to talk some sense into him. Not in a big sit-him-down kind of way, but just nag and challenge him whenever you see fit. Maybe offer to go back to this camp with him, and point out how looney they are. If he sees it has no effect on you, he might start second guessing what they told him.

kelly1

Nailz wrote: »

Right lads and lassies, I don't want to go to PI because I never go on it and sometimes the answers aren't truthful as they aren't allowed to give help that seems aggressive, but please, fill your boots if needed.

Sorry, what's PI?

Nailz wrote: »

My mate, he's the best lad in the world, I love him to bits, and that's no kidding, I love him (not homo like), and he's a Protestant and I'm a Catholic... but there is nothing wrong there as we don't give a shìt either way. But he went down to this religion camp down near Avoca in Wicklow over a weekend, and he came back singing loads of group songs and has a whrist band saying WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), also saying he has become very religious since that. I'm not a religious gawson, but being really religious bothers me, don't ask me why it just fùcking bothers me.

I think you do need to ask yourself why it bothers you. What's he doing that bothers you? Is he telling you to give your life to Jesus? Is he ranting?

AtomicHorror

Nailz wrote: »

Right lads and lassies, I don't want to go to PI because I never go on it and sometimes the answers aren't truthful as they aren't allowed to give help that seems aggressive, but please, fill your boots if needed.

My mate, he's the best lad in the world, I love him to bits, and that's no kidding, I love him (not homo like), and he's a Protestant and I'm a Catholic... but there is nothing wrong there as we don't give a shìt either way. But he went down to this religion camp down near Avoca in Wicklow over a weekend, and he came back singing loads of group songs and has a whrist band saying WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), also saying he has become very religious since that. I'm not a religious gawson, but being really religious bothers me, don't ask me why it just fùcking bothers me. Seeing as I love the lad and he's my best friend, I try and not look bothered by making my usual jokes about Jesus like; WWJD, and I'd say "Keep on partyin'" or "Keep on rockin'" and offering my 'Jesus is Coming - Look Busy' shirt.

But as a friend, I don't know what to make of it, I blank it out alot, sometimes I even forget he's protestant, but every so offen, I'm reminded of his spirituality. I don't think it'll ever do anything thing to our friendship, but a remidy for my brain would be nice. Help? Also if you have stories simular, pray tell... (:D, see what I did there!)

Sounds like your problem isn't the religion as such but the rather sudden change you have observed in him.

MrPudding

This one might be better on A & A. Is the christianity board really the place to ask for advice on telling your newly super christian friend to "wise up?"

MrP

PDN

If he's happy then be happy for him.

Nailz

kelly1 wrote: »

Sorry, what's PI?

I think you do need to ask yourself why it bothers you. What's he doing that bothers you? Is he telling you to give your life to Jesus? Is he ranting?

PI stands for Personal Issues, four columns above Religion on the bar.
It isn't him that bothers me, he's quite free about it, it's the fact I never liked the really religious way of going on. He doesn't rant, he's not pushy and would never hurt a fly.

AtomicHorror wrote: »

Sounds like your problem isn't the religion as such but the rather sudden change you have observed in him.

No it isn't the religion, as I pointed out myself, his personality has changed fùck all, it's just the little things... like the whristband, him humming stuff to himself and stuff like that, maybe I'm just being picky and selfcentred!

MrPudding wrote: »

This one might be better on A & A. Is the christianity board really the place to ask for advice on telling your newly super christian friend to "wise up?"

MrP

No no, this isn't the attitude I'm taking to this thread, as I said, I am too a Christian.

PDN wrote: »

If he's happy then be happy for him.

I know, I'm such a spa, sure I went off to a game of football with him there a few hours ago and hung around the town afterwards without even noticing anything. He likes everything I like, we share things together, our girlfriends go out with us on doubles and we also support United. We know how to motivate each other in sport and be playfull, I'm even thinking of buying United tickets for his birthday. If such petty things change these things, then I'm not a good friend, but I still love him and nothing has changed... I just have to learn to pan out stupid things that aren't worth a fùck.

Thank you, but sorry for wasting your time.

Asiaprod

Nailz wrote: »

Thank you, but sorry for wasting your time.

Genuine questions are never a waste of time. As PDN said, if he is happy, be happy for him. It would be silly for you to let his humming to himself and wearing a wristband affect your relationship when he appears to have done nothing himself to affect it. You are obviously unnerved by his change in attitude, but thats life. Get over it and continue to enjoy this great friendship you already have.

Overheal

why would you want me to advise violence as an option anyway? what are you going to do, beat the faith out of him?

Well being atheist I'd just debate theology until they wore out or I did. But in your case maybe you could wear a pope shirt and keep a pope senterfold on your wall and then he can realise that yeah, thats just ott.

ChocolateSauce

Hmm....well if he hasn't changed then maybe he was always like this, and he just got the confidence to show it? If you want to see if he really has changed, you should ask him about the big moral questions of life and see if he has different opinions from before.

robindch

Nailz wrote: »

I don't know what to make of it, I blank it out alot, sometimes I even forget he's protestant

Sounds to me like the two of you are taking religion far too seriously. Lighten up a bit and hope your mate does too, but if he's still talking about nothing but Jesus in a month's time, then I'd sit him down and tell him that his monomania is bugging you and ask him what he's going to do about it. Some people do get consumed by religion and can, over time, go on about it to the exclusion of everything and everybody else. Other people just grow out of it naturally, a bit like flares or the Rubik's cube. It's easier to grow out of it when young; a lot more difficult when older.

Splendour

Hi OP,

has your friend become very religious or very Christian? There is a difference.

You state that you yourself are a Christian so I don't understand why his humming Christian songs and wearing his WWJD wristband should bother you?


I met a girl a few years back in a pub (I'm female too) and we got on really well on on first meeting. After that we met up a few times until one night she said to me 'I really like you except for the church thing...' I thought this statement a bit odd as we got on so well, so why let this come between us?

(She subsequently came along to a 'Gospel in a Day' course run by our church and became a Christian too.)

Anyhow, my advice to you would be to let your friend and frienship just be...

Karen

PDN

I would be much more irritated by his support for Manchester United. If a friend kept talking about Utd I would dump them as a friend.

Nailz

So are you saying to give it time??

Overheal wrote: »

Well being atheist I'd just debate theology until they wore out or I did. But in your case maybe you could wear a pope shirt and keep a pope senterfold on your wall and then he can realise that yeah, thats just ott.

I couldn't do that to him or myself, I want him to do what he wants, not push him to stop it just for the sake of me...

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

Hmm....well if he hasn't changed then maybe he was always like this, and he just got the confidence to show it? If you want to see if he really has changed, you should ask him about the big moral questions of life and see if he has different opinions from before.

Confidence to show it??? Nah Greg (he) has only come to this from that camp, he's said he was exactly like myself beforehand. One of the reasons why I want to avoid the whole thing.

robindch wrote: »

Sounds to me like the two of you are taking religion far too seriously. Lighten up a bit and hope your mate does too, but if he's still talking about nothing but Jesus in a month's time, then I'd sit him down and tell him that his monomania is bugging you and ask him what he's going to do about it. It's easier to grow out of it when young; a lot more difficult when older.

Oh we are still young, still playing teh Football, still partying. I don't see me taking it seriously at all. That's the reason, he's being religious and I'm not per usual.

Splendour wrote: »

Has your friend become very religious or very Christian? There is a difference.

You state that you yourself are a Christian so I don't understand why his humming Christian songs and wearing his WWJD wristband should bother you?

Anyhow, my advice to you would be to let your friend and frienship just be...

Karen

Just very religious. The thing about the whristband and the songs is just a symbol he is being OTT, and as a semi practicing Catholic, those things are just that.

But I think people on here think he's more religious than I portray him to be, he's not being pushy or insistant or anything, I stated I rearly notice it, it's just that it's there, and I need that to go over my head.

PDN wrote: »

I would be much more irritated by his support for Manchester United. If a friend kept talking about Utd I would dump them as a friend.

Well each to their own and stuff... atleast I can hold my ground against a scouser!!

wolfsbane

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

Hmm....well if he hasn't changed then maybe he was always like this, and he just got the confidence to show it? If you want to see if he really has changed, you should ask him about the big moral questions of life and see if he has different opinions from before.

Nailz, I agree with what ChocolateSauce says above.

If your friend has really changed in his spirit, it will show in his behaviour. Not all at once, but progressively. He will not get drunk or do drugs every weekend. He will not sleep around, nor even with a regular girlfriend. He will be concerned about what God would want him to do - the idea behind What Would Jesus Do?

If it is only attending church and humming choruses, it will soon pass. Otherwise, you will find yourself having increasingly less in common, or being attracted to the reality of what he has, and finding Christ for yourself.

CDfm

First of all the guy is your friend and his religious beliefs existed in some form before and so did yours.

So he went to a gathering in Wicklow and come back singing songs - Big deal-if he had gone to the Gaelteacht he would probably be asking the bus driver how much in Irish. Thats what people do - Im often Bonjouring away on the phone for a day or 2 if I go to France.

It will probably last a few days - religious beliefs are personal things and guys dont normally discuss them -and they sure wont change anything on the football pitch.

Its life and its what happens - its no different to being in different classes in school or different sports teams these things just level out.

Splendour

Nailz wrote: »

Just very religious. The thing about the whristband and the songs is just a symbol he is being OTT, and as a semi practicing Catholic, those things are just that.

But I think people on here think he's more religious than I portray him to be, he's not being pushy or insistant or anything, I stated I rearly notice it, it's just that it's there, and I need that to go over my head.

Ok, if he's not being pushy or telling you how you should lead your life it sounds like he's a Christian rather than being religious. Religious folk go around judging others and tut tutting at wrongs others do -and that doesn't sound like your mate. As a Christian his WWJD band and Christian songs are perfectly normal.

Looks like you've got a good pal there- hang onto him, he'll be more than just a good mate to you...

Asiaprod

Nailz wrote: »

So are you saying to give it time??

Well thats the standard answer to everything, but yes, give it time. Time for you to adapt to him, and maybe even time for him to adapt to you. This is not that big an issue, everything changes with time, unless of course he decided to convert you to make you as happy as he is. Then you could have a problem, but again, only if you let it be one. What is happening is a natural process in action, part of growing and findings one's place. He may grow out of it, it could become a more important part of his life, who knows. What is important is that you are both good mates, you enjoy each other, and you should accept each other for what you are.
For the record Liverpool rock... and maybe Chelsea.[/QUOTE]

Nerin

I know that camp youre speaking of i believe... >_> odd place,not on religious grounds mind you. If they want to sing or whatever,fair play. But they are encouraged to bring friends,even ones of different/non faith. Friend was really into this in school,invited me,i said no thanks,christian singsongs from a pagan seemed a little hypocritical to me. He brought another friend,an atheist. Atheist gets there,takes part in games and stuff,but when he firmly and respectfully told them he had no interest in their beliefs,and would not change his own,he said the mood got fairly dark. Luckily he found one other guy there who was in the same boat.

iUseVi

CDfm wrote: »

So he went to a gathering in Wicklow and come back singing songs - Big deal-if he had gone to the Gaelteacht he would probably be asking the bus driver how much in Irish. Thats what people do - Im often Bonjouring away on the phone for a day or 2 if I go to France.

It will probably last a few days - religious beliefs are personal things and guys dont normally discuss them -and they sure wont change anything on the football pitch.

Totally right. Have been to that camp. Your friend will probably get over his initial excitement fairly soon, it's probably just a fad.
He had a great time, etc., it's not surprising that he wants to talk about it.

Nailz

Well it's nice to hear from people who know about this camp, a sorta' inside view. Would you say it'd be a good thing to tag along next time he heads just to make me understand his whole way of seeing things. TBH I'm fairly reluctant of that sonario, I don't know how those people would take me as I have a different and simple way of going on. Things like I swear way too fücking much , I hate religious songs - I'd be more inclined to start a Utd chant. I listen to some very unchristian music like Slayer!

Nerin

Nailz wrote: »

Well it's nice to hear from people who know about this camp, a sorta' inside view. Would you say it'd be a good thing to tag along next time he heads just to make me understand his whole way of seeing things. TBH I'm fairly reluctant of that sonario, I don't know how those people would take me as I have a different and simple way of going on. Things like I swear way too fücking much , I hate religious songs - I'd be more inclined to start a Utd chant. I listen to some very unchristian music like Slayer!

suppose you could,just bring stuff to keep you occupied,incase you get the same treatment as my friend.

Nailz

Same treatment as your friend? What happened?

Nerin

>_> my other post on this thread

Nailz

Oh sorry, but please explain dark. I need to know just incase I commit to giving this to giving this a go.

Nerin

Nailz wrote: »

Oh sorry, but please explain dark. I need to know just incase I commit to giving this to giving this a go.

he just said to me that he felt like an exile,that people started ignoring him. I found that very worrying. I knew/was friends with three people that went to that place. Stopped being friends with one guy that repeatedly mentioned me to his group,going to hell for being a pagan kinda crap. Tbh,the friend that the atheist went with is a nice guy,but in a group of them,i could see him being easily led and acting badly.

Nailz

Thanks pal, that sounds very worrying. But I am the type of guy who trys to stand his ground, Greg see's us as untouchable though, if he's see's I'm treated badly he fight beside me. Thats why I love him. TBF... your mates sound alot worse, in him you can't notice it.
Between my posting I've spent alot of my time with him per usual along with my other fûcking great friends and nothing was ever taught of anything simular to this. We are even planning of gyming together now, maybe it's going from his system?

CDfm

Nailz wrote: »

Well it's nice to hear from people who know about this camp, a sorta' inside view. Would you say it'd be a good thing to tag along next time he heads just to make me understand his whole way of seeing things. TBH I'm fairly reluctant of that sonario, I don't know how those people would take me as I have a different and simple way of going on. Things like I swear way too fücking much , I hate religious songs - I'd be more inclined to start a Utd chant. I listen to some very unchristian music like Slayer!

You can go but only if you are comfortable with it.If you are not dont go.

Simple as that.Decision made.

Nerin

I'm not friends with them anymore,lost contact with the one fairly good guy. Wasn't worth the hassle to be friends with someone on a highhorse trying to "save my soul". Thankfully,not all of them are like that,but unfortunately,in my experiences with that place,and some friends experiences,it seems common.

CerebralCortex

Nailz wrote: »

Just very religious. The thing about the whristband and the songs is just a symbol he is being OTT, and as a semi practicing Catholic, those things are just that.

Come on man yer either in or you're out. To be honest I don't think the problem is him, I think you may be threatened by his faith. Might be worth askin yerself what you believe. You want my opinion the world would be so much easier if everyone was atheist :pac:

Nerin

CerebralCortex wrote: »

Come on man yer either in or you're out. To be honest I don't think the problem is him, I think you may be threatened by his faith. Might be worth askin yerself what you believe. You want my opinion the world would be so much easier if everyone was atheist :pac:

bit of a silly statement, yer either in or out. People can believe what they want without being in your face. Then again,people have the right to express their faith. There has to be an acceptable common ground-which seems to be where the difficulty is.

Nailz

You are very helpful, thank you. I am almost away into hibernation so I'll post back tomorrow! I think my mate is alright, seems to be no different from before, but I'll still report the news.

EDIT: What I mean by semi practising is that I don't pray or go to mass as much as they think we should. Surely if God wants me to be happy, he wouldn't want me boring me bollox off at mass!! Though funny things do happen when I go to mass!!!

CerebralCortex

Nerin wrote: »

bit of a silly statement, yer either in or out. People can believe what they want without being in your face. Then again,people have the right to express their faith. There has to be an acceptable common ground-which seems to be where the difficulty is.

I completely agree. I didn't say people couldn't believe whatever they want. People don't have the right to express their faith if it infringes on another's freedoms (thats a different topic).

CerebralCortex

Nailz wrote: »

EDIT: What I mean by semi practising is that I don't pray or go to mass as much as they think we should. Surely if God wants me to be happy, he wouldn't want me boring me bollox off at mass!! Though funny things do happen when I go to mass!!!

Thats fine you have your own ideas on god but it isn't catholic. I'm pretty sure catholicism has a pretty certain set of rules for the definition of god. To be honest you sound like a traditionalist more than a believer.

iUseVi

Nailz wrote: »

Well it's nice to hear from people who know about this camp, a sorta' inside view. Would you say it'd be a good thing to tag along next time he heads just to make me understand his whole way of seeing things. TBH I'm fairly reluctant of that sonario, I don't know how those people would take me as I have a different and simple way of going on. Things like I swear way too fücking much , I hate religious songs - I'd be more inclined to start a Utd chant. I listen to some very unchristian music like Slayer!

IMHO I would absolutely not suggest you going, but that is coming from me as an atheist(ex-christian) - so take that with a pinch of salt.

There's no doubt you would get a different viewpoint from going, not sure if it would help or hinder your relationship though. From experience, an "outsider" (Christian and non-Christian) usually finds these camps to be fairly extreme. But if you know what to expect and are prepared for it, it might be an interesting thing to do. Just make sure you are prepared to sing the songs they sing, and do the things they do.

CDfm

iUseVi wrote: »

IMHO I would absolutely not suggest you going, but that is coming from me as an atheist(ex-christian) - so take that with a pinch of salt.

There's no doubt you would get a different viewpoint from going, not sure if it would help or hinder your relationship though. From experience, an "outsider" (Christian and non-Christian) usually finds these camps to be fairly extreme. But if you know what to expect and are prepared for it, it might be an interesting thing to do. Just make sure you are prepared to sing the songs they sing, and do the things they do.

i am a christian parent and i would say dont go.

Besides the religion and hymn singing on a broken voice, there are colds, E-Coli, athletes foot and nits. You never know with these camps who slept in the bed or used the shower before you.

Nailz

Well iUseVi, there is no need to dismiss your opinion because you're atheist, your view is as right as anybody elses. Now we're just going to have to sing some Slayer then, aren't we!?!

I take care of my higene, so I too believe it is important. No nits or crabs are gonna fück me over!! Haha!
I went through a complicated brake up today with my girlfriend, and guess who was there to put his arm around my shoulder and give me sound advice?!? I think I know who my friend is, nothing else is wrong...

CDfm

i think theres more to this - its the camp thing

Nailz

Okay, what do you wanna talk about?

CDfm

I was being rhetorrical

philologos

Avoca is where they do the Scripture Union camps as far as I know. However, why should you be concerned about his faith, or what impact do you think it's likely to have on your friendship.

robindch wrote:

Sounds to me like the two of you are taking religion far too seriously. Lighten up a bit and hope your mate does too, but if he's still talking about nothing but Jesus in a month's time, then I'd sit him down and tell him that his monomania is bugging you and ask him what he's going to do about it.

I don't see why sitting him down and insisting that he turns away from God is going to help their friendship.

robindch

Jakkass wrote: »

I don't see why sitting him down and insisting that he turns away from God is going to help their friendship.

Didn't say that he had to "turn away from god". Just to point out, one guy to another, that talking incessantly about one thing isn't a good way to stay friends. It's the kind of relationship "house-keeping" that any reasonable person should be able to do with any good friend.

Nailz

Jakkass is right, that's not gonna work, say if said to him "you shouldn't quit Christianity, but you're having a laugh!", would that sound right?? I think I made too much of it, he's doing nothing wrong. We do alot of things for each other, and he's helping me through this fúcking about with my ex. He only says things about religion when asked.

robindch

Nailz wrote: »

He only says things about religion when asked.

Fair enough -- no great problem then!

Nailz

Grand.