Ill at ease with neighbour

coverband

Hi. I put a deposit down on a bedsit today. Another guy got the bedsit nextdoor to me and to be honest I'm a bit freaked out. I'm on rent allowance and so is he. I'm studying but he looks like one of these seedy Dublin 50 year old men. You know a chancer/grifter. I'm ill at ease (will he knife me in my sleep/rob me!!). Any advice would be appreciated

Cokehead Mother

Why don't you strike up a conversation and try to get to know him? Sometimes when you talk to people you realise their only desire in life isn't to rape, kill and eat you.

Ruu_Old

Just be civil if you meet him, he hasn't done anything wrong. Get an extra lock or two on the door if you are worried about extra security.

MagicMarker

coverband wrote: »

Hi. I put a deposit down on a bedsit today. Another guy got the bedsit nextdoor to me and to be honest I'm a bit freaked out. I'm on rent allowance and so is he. I'm studying but he looks like one of these seedy Dublin 50 year old men. You know a chancer/grifter. I'm ill at ease (will he knife me in my sleep/rob me!!). Any advice would be appreciated

He probably thinks you're a low life student who'll keep him up at night having mad parties and teh sex.

Aren't stereotypes wonderful?

coverband

Good advice thanks

Cokehead Mother wrote: »

Why don't you strike up a conversation and try to get to know him? Sometimes when you talk to people you realise their only desire in life isn't to rape, kill and eat you.

Its just that "dubs" get under my nose. I'm from dublin myself. I suppose its a case of "can;t stand your own". How to deal with it though?

_blank_

coverband wrote: »

How to deal with it though?

Deal with what?

Your irrational fear of your neighbour who:

a. You've never spoken to, nor seem like you ever will
b. Have already cast as some kind of seedy underworld chancer
c. Have already cast him as a knifing robber

Here's how to deal with it.

Get over it.

There is no issue here apart form some stereotypical view of a decent man, who is probably a bit down on his luck.

I hope to god you aren't living in a bedsit on rent allowance when you are in your 50s. God knows what you'd get up to.

:rolleyes:

stovelid

coverband wrote: »

I'm studying but he looks like one of these seedy Dublin 50 year old men.

Get a bedsit in Cork, Limerick or Galway instead. Obviously, all the seedy 50 year old men are up here?

Poor bloke has enough on his plate living alone in a bedsit at his age without moral judgment from somebody probably half his age

miss_shadow

So you just wrote this because you feel superior because your a student.
Im also a student, I am proud of myself but I do not go around thinking im better than anyone else!! fair do to yourself for getting into college though, well done.
but you can't judge someone on appearance at all! just go with your intuition.

SpookyDoll

coverband wrote: »

Good advice thanks



Its just that "dubs" get under my nose. I'm from dublin myself. I suppose its a case of "can;t stand your own". How to deal with it though?

:eek: Are you for real, what is his crime exactly, that he is 50?
A Dub?
down on his luck?

Its blerdy well for some who have so little to worry about.
Grow up, you sound well spoilt.

not yet

Walk up to him with the most lunatic expression you can muster and say........listen if you get them back, i'll cut them up!!!!!!!

metamorphic

Well you know not to play music at 3 in the morning at least

Introduce yourself. He's probably one of your lecturers. Had some crusties lecturing in my day, he could be one of them.

I don't think people should be too hard on you though, can be a bit daunting if you've moved out for the first time, surrounded by strangers. So your neighbours a bit rough looking, this time next week you'll be used to seeing him and he won't seem as intimidating, just like the fox and the lion (aesop's fables, go read a book )

Karen_*

Coverband you have loads of issues with other people. First it was women and now its the man next door. I know you're seeing a psychiatrist but are you getting any counselling besides the medication you're on?

SuperGrover

please tell me this is a wind-up.

please.

are there really people as shallow and ignorant as this?

SpookyDoll

As per Karens post, I think OP has some issues

Karen_*

SuperGrover wrote: »

please tell me this is a wind-up.

please.

are there really people as shallow and ignorant as this?

He's extremely anxious. Yes people are shallow and ignorant but this isn't the case here:)

mikemac

coverband wrote: »

I'm on rent allowance

Rightly or wrongly many people will instantly judge you for this.
And then you turn around and start judging others.

You're in no position to look down on others

Obligatory comment to save myself from a slap on the wrist:
I've not made comments about people on rent allowance, only that many people have a view on them

BeardyGit

coverband wrote: »

Good advice thanks



Its just that "dubs" get under my nose. I'm from dublin myself. I suppose its a case of "can;t stand your own". How to deal with it though?

Grow potatoes in your shoes, put on some thick as treacle Oirish accent and move to London and claim you're 'anartisht'?

Come off it. That fella next door probably doesn't like you either. You've already got something in common. Say hello and see what happens. You'll find there are many truly great people in this city who are down on their luck, but still make an effort to show the rest of us what it should mean to be Irish. And from Dublin, might I add. Hospitality begins at home, not just charity. Get your finger out and introduce yourself.

Things are only going to get worse over the next couple of years. If that stinking attitude you're showing towards a new neighbour is anything to go by, things are looking very grim indeed for the next generation of fledgling Irish. Without our warm welcome in the preceeding decades, tourists and money would never have flooded into these shores.... What the hell went wrong?

Sort yourself out kid.

coverband

SpookyDoll wrote: »

:eek: Are you for real, what is his crime exactly, that he is 50?
A Dub?
down on his luck?

Its blerdy well for some who have so little to worry about.
Grow up, you sound well spoilt.

Its just the head on him. You know these "streetwise" dubs, think they can talk their way in and out of anything and everything

ShawnRaven

I don't feel sorry for a lot of people, but you're one i can't but help but feel sorry for.
Best of luck to you when you open the door to the real world. Because that gust you'll feel isn't strong breeze, it's the humiliating kick to the crotch.

VR!

who007

coverband wrote: »

Hi. I put a deposit down on a bedsit today. Another guy got the bedsit nextdoor to me and to be honest I'm a bit freaked out. I'm on rent allowance and so is he. I'm studying but he looks like one of these seedy Dublin 50 year old men. You know a chancer/grifter. I'm ill at ease (will he knife me in my sleep/rob me!!). Any advice would be appreciated

:rolleyes: too much Fair City...

Hagar

Live and let live.

Bluscreendream

If he was a Pierce Brosnan look-alike 50 year old, I wonder would you be harbouring the same concerns...

Marksie

Chucky the tree: banned.

Lets keep this helpful ond on topic from now on.

First and only warning

As karen_* says coverband, you are here again with a similar issue. Are you feeling anxious?

Have you been back to get the advice you needed last time?

SpookyDoll

coverband wrote: »

Its just the head on him. You know these "streetwise" dubs, think they can talk their way in and out of anything and everything

coverband, I know from what others are saying that you have anxiety problems but you are coming accross very offensively.

Being so judgemental of an individual who has done you no harm is not acceptable and that is why most the posters on this thread are upset.

Think about what you are saying.

madmaxi

coverband wrote: »

Hi. I put a deposit down on a bedsit today. Another guy got the bedsit nextdoor to me and to be honest I'm a bit freaked out. I'm on rent allowance and so is he. I'm studying but he looks like one of these seedy Dublin 50 year old men. You know a chancer/grifter. I'm ill at ease (will he knife me in my sleep/rob me!!). Any advice would be appreciated

Its just the head on him. You know these "streetwise" dubs, think they can talk their way in and out of anything and everything

Coverband, you need a good dose of reality. Be the adult & introduce yourself..... you may even make a friend. What's the worse thing that could happen? (a knife in the back).

Is it yourself that your implying to being the "streetwise" Dub.

mikemac

Ridiculous infraction on Post 16 :mad:
The OP and the tenant are both from Dublin, both in the same building getting bedsits and both on rent allowance.
So yes, the OP "is in no position to look down on others".

That one line earned an infraction, I wonder did the mods even read Post 1 and my post.

Best of luck to the OP anyway, others have given better advice

seahorse

coverband wrote: »

Its just the head on him. You know these "streetwise" dubs, think they can talk their way in and out of anything and everything

Sounds like he's been round the block a few times, so he probably can.

The question is: why on earth would that bother you?

Dizzyblonde

OP a few weeks back a guy posted here about the fact that because of his build and the way he looks people avoid sitting beside him on buses etc. He was really hurt because on the inside he's just like the rest of us.
Don't be too quick to judge your neighbour because of his looks and accent, he just might be a really nice man who's had a hard life.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Ah the poor guy... both you and your neighbour. Do you worry a lot? Are you a paranoid person? I would think that it is almost impossible for you to randomly strike a conversation with this man, where would you see him. You could start with saying hello every so often. See if his actions are friendly. You could always hire a PI

John Mason

why dont you just move

cafecolour

coverband wrote: »

Its just the head on him. You know these "streetwise" dubs, think they can talk their way in and out of anything and everything

Well, maybe you'll learn something

RuailleBuaille

coverband wrote: »

Good advice thanks



Its just that "dubs" get under my nose. I'm from dublin myself. I suppose its a case of "can;t stand your own". How to deal with it though?

God how many stereotypes can you fit into one PI?

Tell you what, just lock your doors and never come out again. That way you don't have to deal with the reality of multi-faceted human beings and therefore will never be proven wrong, and even better, none of us have to deal with your ridiculous little idea of the world.
Seriously though, It's YOUR issue, not your neighbours.
People don't slot neatly into boxes and thank god for that.

EDIT: apparantly this is a real PI!
So my advice is to take the bull by the horns, ask him what day do the bins go out or something, you might find he's more friendly than you imagined.
And if not, just avoid him. You're both in the same boat so why are you judging him?

S.I.R

coverband wrote: »

Hi. I put a deposit down on a bedsit today. Another guy got the bedsit nextdoor to me and to be honest I'm a bit freaked out. I'm on rent allowance and so is he. I'm studying but he looks like one of these seedy Dublin 50 year old men. You know a chancer/grifter. I'm ill at ease (will he knife me in my sleep/rob me!!). Any advice would be appreciated

hire a polish body gaurd... 10 euro a day with 75c lidl dinner allowance.... The irish mans way to have self defence !

Wibbs

S.I.R cop on. We don't need off topic cultural stereotypes around here. AH is that away

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RuailleBuaille

Wibbs wrote: »

S.I.R cop on. We don't need off topic cultural stereotypes around here. AH is that away

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I'm not arguing with mod action, (I agree with the off topic part) but I think cultural (and other) stereotypes are what this PI is about?

Nevyn

No it's not and if you wish to query such things pm the mod or start a feedback thread as such posts are off topic and can get you banned from this forum.