Really dont know what to do

rohe

hi
am just looking for advice really here

have been with my bf for 3 years and have had serious ups and downs but today we had an argument and he tried to physically drag me outta bed to kick me outta of his house

i gave up my council house to be with this guy and gave up most of my family and friends, everything for him, he came home this morning and had an argument he got physical tried to tear me outta the bed to kick me out, i wouldnt budge, told him to leave me alone, then i got up went into the kitchen, we had words and he ran at me (thought he was gonna punch me ) and tried to drag me out the door whilst i was in pyjamas and had no shoes on, and i wouldnt move, i was screaming to get his hands off me, he said i had 5 mins to get my stuff and 2 get the f*ck out, i left with a shoppping bag of clothes, my purse and thats it!!!!!!!!!!!!!,


he took my house keys off me, i am now with a family member just for tonight, just wondering really does any1 know if their is any homeless places i can go, what can i do really?

MagicMarker

Stay with your family member, save up for a deposit on your own place and move on with your life.

rohe

i know this is the practical solution but i havent lived with any of my family since i'm 15 and things are a bit fragile with my family and plus my ex wont give me back my stuff is just being spiteful, and i dont want things to get ugly and they are

MagicMarker

Why not get a small loan to cover your deposit/month up front for a new place?

As for your stuff, if the stuff he won't give has a high value, then go to the police. If it's insignificant stuff, then they can be replaced.

I'd recommend forgetting about the guy, sacrificing some clothes etc etc may not be all that bad.

rohe

its not just clothes, that wouldnt bother me to be honest, i have an washing machine,tv,fridge,bed etc so its quite alot of stuff, its all from when i moved from my house, i dont even want to have contact him to be honest, cause he has treated me like crap and has pushed me around before

but am gonna look into to getting a small loan for a deposit but could take a week or two, just wondering what i could do in the mean time, just things not good with family and i need my own space

but thanks for the advice much appreciated

Burial

rohe wrote: »

its not just clothes, that wouldnt bother me to be honest, i have an washing machine,tv,fridge,bed etc so its quite alot of stuff, its all from when i moved from my house, i dont even want to have contact him to be honest, cause he has treated me like crap and has pushed me around before

but am gonna look into to getting a small loan for a deposit but could take a week or two, just wondering what i could do in the mean time, just things not good with family and i need my own space

but thanks for the advice much appreciated

My advice is ask the police for help and/or goto a solicitor for advice on what to do. He's using your stuff in the house. I definatly wouldn't let that stand. Nor would I let him drag me out of bed in the middle of the night stand.

not yet

Count yourself lucky to get away from a dickhead like that...

slowly,day by day get your life back on track. There is help out there just look for it.

Best of luck.

Colonel_McCoy

Stay away from this scumbag,

faceman

Sorry to hear your situation. Is it definitely over? In the heat of the moment immaturity can dominate in a row. Has he ever been rough or violent before?

Anyway, dont waste your time calling the gardai, its a civil matter and there is nothing they can or will do.

you need to contact your ex ask him to arrange a time that you can collect your things. If he messes you around or wont give you your things back then you should contact a solicitor. Presumably when you say its his house, he pays the mortgage as opposed to pays the rent?

Try stay with an understanding relative for a wweek or 2 until you can get yourself sorted, family support will help you mentally at this time.

Best of luck.

beth-lou

Eh, did you read her post faceman????? Is it really over???
I really hope so. He sounds like a horrible person.

Get in touch with the Gardai and ask them what you should do. They will give advice as will womens aid. Have you any friends you could stay with? Even if you've lost toouch with people I'm sure if you explain your situation they would help you out.

All the best.

Princess Leia

Think you had a lucky escape with this guy. It's not right he still has your stuff. If there's no reasoning with him at all(and I wouldn't face him on your own) I would go to Women's Aid and see if they can advise you..tell them he's threatened you.
Also there are free legal advice centres in most towns on certain dates,citizen's advice centre can give you the info you need.

MugMugs

Tell his mammy !

If ye know what I mean. If you are close / know his family then use them against him.

Tell them what he has done. Maybe a brother who might get you in there to get your stuff ?

Stay away from this dude and dont go falling for "hardman" crap either.

If he can do this to you once, think what he could do the next time ! Bad person he is....

Dudess

Oh rohe, you poor thing. You've been having a horrendous time of it. Did you manage to find work? I remember you posting about how you were finding it so hard to get a job. Perhaps if you let us know what the situation is on that score as it would help us in giving you advice...

hona

what a load of crap .imthis person that she is talking about .i phoned her from work to ask her if she wanted anything from the shop while i was on my way home i got just a no that was it i new then there was something up .i was suppose to collect money i was giving to her brother as a loan but wasnt able so i came home and told her i couldnt get the money she told me to txt her brother and i told her to txt em .then she got very abbusive and said i was jelous of her brother. idid pull the bed clothes from the bed but never tried to pull her from the bed ..idid it as i was leaving the room andit wasnt done in the way she said .i went to the kitchen to make tea . ihad the tea which took a few mins .then she came out shouting things about my family now that i can take .but i av a son who has mild autism she started shouting things about em that she couldnt stand em and that my sister told her she hated em which im sorry to say i saw red and did try to push her out the door.as for her clothes she took what she wanted and her make up she hadnt any bags to put the rest of her stuff into.so she changed end left.she txt me later asking about her stuff i told her it was all in bags and and the rest of her stuff was all in the hall.she asked me to leave her clothes and stuff in a shed out the back which i did which she collected .she said she would collect the rest of her stuff at the end of next week. i love this girl to bits but were to alike theres a pair of us in it .as for the way i did act iam sorry that it did come to this. in future think before you call people names there are two sides to everything.as for giving up her friends and family for me read a few posts and that will explain and the same goes for the house she says she gave up for me she gave it upbecause it was broken into its all in her threads

Carrigart Exile

rohe wrote: »

its not just clothes, that wouldnt bother me to be honest, i have an washing machine,tv,fridge,bed etc so its quite alot of stuff, its all from when i moved from my house, i dont even want to have contact him to be honest, cause he has treated me like crap and has pushed me around before

but am gonna look into to getting a small loan for a deposit but could take a week or two, just wondering what i could do in the mean time, just things not good with family and i need my own space

but thanks for the advice much appreciated

If you are living with a relative you would have nowhere to put such stuff. Consider what a fair value is for the goods left behind and tell him you want a financial settlement to cover their cost. Then move on.

Victor

rohe, you can talk to your local community welfare officer (usually based in your local health centre - there might be an emergency phone number) who can help you sort out somewhere for yourself. If necessary, you can put your stuff in storage.

The two of you, fighting your battles on the internet won't solve anything. You need separation from each other at least for the moment. If you need to contact each other, try to use an impartial outsider as go between.

faceman

beth-lou wrote: »

Eh, did you read her post faceman????? Is it really over???
I really hope so. He sounds like a horrible person.

Its naive to think that there is only 1 side to a story and its also naive to think that couples dont resolve their differences. (As well as people staying with the wrong partner!)