whats wrong with me?

LegacyUser

Hi
I moved to ireland 3 years ago and i thought i was settling down and making friends... I had to work away from home when i first moved here so was staying in shared accomodation with other workers we used to all go out for drinks and cinema etc together and we had a good time. I eventually got a transfer nearer to home and left but kept in touch with them all through calls and facebook etc. I arranged to go out for drinks with them all the other nite, travelled up to the city stayed in a b and b and was really looking forward to meeting them. I had invited all my friends, texted them and they all said they would make it. In the end just two of them came, never got a text from anyone else to even say sorry they could not make it. Now i feel miserable, i am living in another county and i find it hard to make friends as it is, and the few friends i thought i had couldnt even tell me they could not make it. How do I make friends here?

jdivision

How many did you invite? Because the general rule is (as somebody who deals with people who invite people to launches etc) that about 1 in four turns up. So don't worry about it. Things come up etc. Sounds like you regret moving away from them though?

jessbeth

sadcow wrote: »

Hi
I moved to ireland 3 years ago and i thought i was settling down and making friends... I had to work away from home when i first moved here so was staying in shared accomodation with other workers we used to all go out for drinks and cinema etc together and we had a good time. I eventually got a transfer nearer to home and left but kept in touch with them all through calls and facebook etc. I arranged to go out for drinks with them all the other nite, travelled up to the city stayed in a b and b and was really looking forward to meeting them. I had invited all my friends, texted them and they all said they would make it. In the end just two of them came, never got a text from anyone else to even say sorry they could not make it. Now i feel miserable, i am living in another county and i find it hard to make friends as it is, and the few friends i thought i had couldnt even tell me they could not make it. How do I make friends here?

Sorry to hear about that. I wouldn't take it too personally though, meaning I don't think it's anything to do with you. Sometimes people are just lazy and decide last minute that they couldn't be bothered because they're thinking everybody will be there anyway. That's not to say that it wasn't lousy that the didn't text etc to say they wouldn't be coming. Some people are by nature just fickle. Maybe try joining a local walking group or photography group or something to be able to make new friends.

krpc

I absolutely agree with the poster above - people sometimes are lazy, sometimes are a little inconsiderate and sometimes don't believe it is as big a deal to the person inviting them out as it might be. I think it has happened to us all at one point or another. I often wonder that if I was not to maintain contact with a certain few of my own friends, would they bother to do it instead.

I think the effort you made to come visit your friends is actually a very likable trait in people and in turn says a lot about who are are. Ultimately, I don't believe there is anything wrong with you whatsoever.

LegacyUser

Op i can understand what you mean other's have said good things already.

It's not clear to me are you living alone now or does your job involve you working alone ?
You seem to be quite motivated to get out and do things so dont let this one dissappointment put you off.

I often gets said here but its good advice maybe persue some interests here you had in your homeland, this definately helped me . And is especially good advice if your live alone as its very easy to get trapped in a rut of sitting on your own each night.