Ever try to do 2 things at once and fail

magick

ill give u an examlple, this morning i was running late so their i was going to the toilet ( No1) and so to save money i decided to brush my teeth at the same time.

So i leaned over to get the brush and tooth paste and began brushing when my pee pee decided to go another way, in the moment of shock to rectify the situation i reached down to stear the flow into the blowl, but in that very moment the paste left my mouth and landed on my "area".


end result : toilet bowl covered in pee and my penis covered in toothpaste


i cant mulitask

krpc

magick wrote: »

ill give u an examlple, this morning i was running late so their i was going to the toilet ( No1) and so to save money i decided to brush my teeth at the same time.

So i leaned over to get the brush and tooth paste and began brushing when my pee pee decided to go another way, in the moment of shock to rectify the situation i reached down to stear the flow into the blowl, but in that very moment the paste left my mouth and landed on my "area".


end result : toilet bowl covered in pee and my penis covered in toothpaste


i cant mulitask

I'm quite intrigued how pee'ing and brushing your teeth at the same time can save you money? In this time of recession any money saver ideas are welcome :pac:

magick

i-bloodhound wrote: »

I'm quite intrigued how pee'ing and brushing your teeth at the same time can save you money? In this time of recession any money saver ideas are welcome :pac:

my news letter, subscribe you, i will !

gandhi123

havee a waankk adn replye on baords....att teh samme tiime!111:pac::pac:

judas101

once after a monster session i needed to puke while on the bog.

was a bit of a stretch over to the sink.

long story short...........i missed........both.

JC 2K3

I pee in the shower.

Works fine for me.

funk-you

Staring at boobs and paying attention to whats being said i nigh on impossible.

-Funk

Fiend-Foe

magick wrote: »

ill give u an examlple, this morning i was running late so their i was going to the toilet ( No1) and so to save money i decided to brush my teeth at the same time.

So i leaned over to get the brush and tooth paste and began brushing when my pee pee decided to go another way, in the moment of shock to rectify the situation i reached down to stear the flow into the blowl, but in that very moment the paste left my mouth and landed on my "area".


end result : toilet bowl covered in pee and my penis covered in toothpaste


i cant mulitask

Pfffft amataur! Ya gotta pee in the sink when you do that...

Just aim at the drain and make sure the tap is on full.

Black Swan

Normally I can drive a car, listen to CD tunes, text on a mobile, talk to someone in the companion seat next to me, check out the lads as I pass by them, and follow directions to arrive by a destination pretty much all at the same time. But a couple weeks ago I was cruising down the main drag that transverses the Balboa Beach Peninsula doing all the above things, when some cute lad walking on the sidewalk dropped his swimming trunks as I passed exposing both cheeks! I almost ran into the car that was in front of me, that had stopped to parallel park, hitting the brakes at the last few seconds! I doubt that the lad was intentionally mooning us, but rather that he was wearing them really low, as they often do now at the beach, and they weren't tied tight enough and slipped, but who knows?

Overheal

My friend Barry decided with his parents gone he was man of the house. So naturally he thought he could do 2 things at once: Receive a blowjob from his girlfriend, and cook a fry.

So as you can guess, in a state of euphoria he manages to spill some hot oil on her and of course her kneejerk reaction was to bite down. Needless to say, watching him limp around was very entertaining.

Reganio 2

Watch Spurs and have a good time..... Its just impossible tbh.

longshanks

i just turned to move a couple of cushions, that was all. 1 dropped laptop, 1 spileed glass of red wine, 1 spilled bottle of wine, 1 stained couch.
i have trouble single tasking

brendansmith

eat a sandwich and vomit at the same time to save money.

Hmmmm

newballsplease

having sex with my girlfriend and trying to be interested.................

mayordenis

i-bloodhound wrote: »

I'm quite intrigued how pee'ing and brushing your teeth at the same time can save you money? In this time of recession any money saver ideas are welcome :pac:

time is money
save one you safe the other . . . pew pew

TheNog

judas101 wrote: »

once after a monster session i needed to puke while on the bog.

was a bit of a stretch over to the sink.

long story short...........i missed........both.

ha i actually succeeded in this daring plan but immediately after puking i went into convulsions laughing and promptly fell off the toilet. a quick shower later and I still had a smile on my face.

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Normally I can drive a car, listen to CD tunes, text on a mobile, talk to someone in the companion seat next to me, check out the lads as I pass by them, and follow directions to arrive by a destination

i was starting to believe your story till you said the above. women just cant follow directions

One Cold Hand

magick wrote: »

ill give u an examlple, this morning i was running late so their i was going to the toilet ( No1) and so to save money i decided to brush my teeth at the same time.

So i leaned over to get the brush and tooth paste and began brushing when my pee pee decided to go another way, in the moment of shock to rectify the situation i reached down to stear the flow into the blowl, but in that very moment the paste left my mouth and landed on my "area".


end result : toilet bowl covered in pee and my penis covered in toothpaste


i cant mulitask

Ever try to post a funny story and fail??

magick

One Cold Hand wrote: »

Ever try to post a funny story and fail??

nope never, but whats stopping you from clicking the reply button and trying?

oh wait, you didnt......

kthxbye

BraziliaNZ

I was cycling down the road in the hot sun in Mount Maunganui last January or so and decided it would be a good idea to take my t-shirt off while I was cycling. Anyway had to let go of handlebars and take my top off but it kind of got stuck on my face and I couldn't see and next thing I bumped into the kerb at the side of the road and went flying into the ground with a t-shirt over my face, much to the amusement of the dozens of onlookers who were picnicing/bbqing nearby. Bloody horrifying! But didn't really injure myself luckily.

One Cold Hand

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

...dozens of onlookers...

Were they hot?!?

brendansmith

One Cold Hand wrote: »

Were they hot?!?

Answer the question!

BraziliaNZ

I don't bleedin' know but it was the height of summer so yeah there were probably bikini clad beauties around

Red Hand

What comes to mind is just the auld classic texting while driving. Luckily, so far it has just been the texting part that has failed and not my driving.:eek:

Overheal

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I was cycling down the road in the hot sun in Mount Maunganui last January or so and decided it would be a good idea to take my t-shirt off while I was cycling. Anyway had to let go of handlebars and take my top off but it kind of got stuck on my face and I couldn't see and next thing I bumped into the kerb at the side of the road and went flying into the ground with a t-shirt over my face, much to the amusement of the dozens of onlookers who were picnicing/bbqing nearby. Bloody horrifying! But didn't really injure myself luckily.

clearly it wouldnt have been a personal loss if you had landed on your head

Sherifu

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

What comes to mind is just the auld classic texting while driving. Luckily, so far it has just been the texting part that has failed and not my driving.:eek:

Really dodgy. Too many people try it. Myself included on occasion.

The Bollox

finding a girl interesting and listening to her. two things that are easy on their own, but virtually impossible to do at the same time

rstans

Talking politely to my ex wife and not murdering the bitch.
Don't know which is harder.
Haven't failed yet but you never know............................................

Lafortezza

Why would you be looking at your buddy's penis while he's getting a blow job and cooking a fry?
Unless you really really wanted some sausage.

Overheal wrote: »

My friend Barry decided with his parents gone he was man of the house. So naturally he thought he could do 2 things at once: Receive a blowjob from his girlfriend, and cook a fry.

So as you can guess, in a state of euphoria he manages to spill some hot oil on her and of course her kneejerk reaction was to bite down. Needless to say, watching him limp around was very entertaining.

paperclip2

This morning. Two phones, Husband on mobile, boss on landline. Now my husband thinks the advisory group meeting is on the 23rd and my boss thinks I'm taking him to an anniversary dinner on Saturday.

lafortezza

lafortezza wrote: »

Why would you be looking at your buddy's penis while he's getting a blow job and cooking a fry?
Unless you really really wanted some sausage.

i'm guessing he meant limping around for some time afterward...

Quazzie

I tried to believe in God and have some idea about how life begun. I failed. Maybe the LHC will show me the way!

Indie18

i am trying to post on boards and work right now............... i'm failing

Black Swan

TheNog wrote: »

i was starting to believe your story till you said the above. women just cant follow directions

Bad B!ue runs to her locker and starts throwing things out. Things fly all over the cabin. Yells to boatmate in frustration, "Where's my flamethrower?"

metamorphic

I was in a 1 to 1 meeting with a female sales rep and prompted by some woman on here complaining that her breasts had been oggled in a meeting I was 100% staring into this woman's eyes the whole time, not listening to a word she was saying so determined as I was not to let my eyes drop, even accidently (they're slippery ) I think the eye stare was probably more off putting than a quick glance. I could be wrong.

so yeah, being a gent and listenting to what's being said, epic failz!!

MementoMori

Tried to combine shaving and brushing my teeth in the morning to save time, but getting the toothbrush and razor mixed up. I was within millimetres of shaving my gums:eek:

Overheal

Overheal wrote: »

My friend Barry decided with his parents gone he was man of the house. So naturally he thought he could do 2 things at once: Receive a blowjob from his girlfriend, and cook a fry.

So as you can guess, in a state of euphoria he manages to spill some hot oil on her and of course her kneejerk reaction was to bite down. Needless to say, watching him limp around was very entertaining.

*sniff sniff* I smell Bulllllllllllllllsheet. In fact, so does Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/bitten.asp

JC 2K3 wrote: »

I pee in the shower.

Works fine for me.

I can piss, shower and brush my teeth all at once.

krpc

MementoMori wrote: »

Tried to combine shaving and brushing my teeth in the morning to save time, but getting the toothbrush and razor mixed up. I was within millimetres of shaving my gums:eek:

I've done that, only with a razor and a cotton bud. Snipped my ear a little with the razor :rolleyes:

loz

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Normally I can drive a car

Lol - who let women do that ?

Dyr

MementoMori wrote: »

Tried to combine shaving and brushing my teeth in the morning to save time, but getting the toothbrush and razor mixed up. I was within millimetres of shaving my gums:eek:

I also did this once, put toothpaste on my razor and all.....

Nichololas

gandhi123 wrote: »

havee a waankk adn replye on baords....att teh samme tiime!111:pac::pac:

The thread says "2 things at once and fail".




:pac:

Silenceisbliss

talk on the phone and play xbox360...sorry, but it just cannot be done.... i just end up shouting "OH YOU FÜCKING SPANNER, COME ON!!!" down the phone.....not good

ncmc

Pat my head and rub tummy in circular motion at the same time.

Practically impossible to do for more than a few seconds without started to pat your tummy. Don't know why I was even trying tbh, I think I need to get more of a social life:(

SoWatchaWant

Went shopping on my bike, decided to show off and carry the bag in one hand on the way back, no hands on the crossbar, but it was a quiet street.

When I turned the corner I lost balance and fell, on my right knee. Left a nasty hole in my favorite Levis, and a nasty scar you can still see when I wear the Levis.

Got the shopping done though. Had a fantastic sandwich:cool: