Student and/or OAP Required

Raiser

It only recently come to my attention that certain chain stores [Atlantic Homecare, B&Q, Petmania et al] offer approx 10% discount on certain days of the week to Students and Old Age Pensioners......

I'm now recruiting.

If you are a Student - you must have valid student ID card and keep your fcuking nonsense, half-arsed opinions to yourself. Payment will be 5 cans of Dutch Gold. This is probably your only chance to finally give something back to Society.

If you are an OAP - you must be continent, Payment will be signing you out for the morning. I will entertain your rambling, sentimental nonsense with vague nods and muttering but I am not willing to listen to conversations about how great the fcuking Pope is.

Prof.Badass

can i have a naggin instead?

( i only drink vodka, for health reasons)

if so I'm in!

castie

Stereotyping all the way!

10% cheap git!

John Mason

I have a valid student card but can i have turberg instead?

Anti

I like the cut of your jib, OP.

Awayindahils

Not for cans, maybe for a naggin.

Anti

irishbird wrote: »

I have a valid student card but can i have turberg instead?

Tuborg perhaps?

Varkov

Can you pay me yachts?

Fringe

5 cans? You scabby bastard, put the other one back.

godtabh

Raiser wrote: »

It only recently come to my attention that certain chain stores [Atlantic Homecare, B&Q, Petmania et al] offer approx 10% discount on certain days of the week to Students and Old Age Pensioners......

I'm now recruiting.

If you are a Student - you must have valid student ID card and keep your fcuking nonsense, half-arsed opinions to yourself. Payment will be 5 cans of Dutch Gold. This is probably your only chance to finally give something back to Society.

If you are an OAP - you must be continent, Payment will be signing you out for the morning. I will entertain your rambling, sentimental nonsense with vague nods and muttering but I am not willing to listen to conversations about how great the fcuking Pope is.

I've a student card but I can afford to drink expesnive beer (anything more expesinve than 6 for 6) so you can take your offer and stick it up your tight "i'm trying to save 10%" arse!

Unless you want to offer more than 5 dutch (not even a full six pack you cheapo!)

Raiser

vinylmesh wrote: »

can i have a naggin instead?

( i only drink vodka, for health reasons)

if so I'm in!

irishbird wrote: »

I have a valid student card but can i have turberg instead?

Awayindahils wrote: »

Not for cans, maybe for a naggin.

Not so fast - Aptitude Test is next.

B&Q Till Monkey: "So you're a student yeah?"

You: "Yes Sir, a poor impoverished hungry Student I is"

B&Q Till Monkey: "Mind me asking why you are buying a retro-styled bath, 32 Litres of White Spirits and 9 Chainsaws? ?? [?]"

You: <Insert deviously cunning and utterly credible answer here for assessment>

Raiser

irishbird wrote: »

I have a valid student card but can i have turberg instead?

Manties wrote: »

Tuborg perhaps?

Any girl who is willing to carry out little errands in return for cheap beer is to be wholeheartedly encouraged in this venture.

Irishbird you can be Regional Manager with responsibility for SOX compliance and all HR functions.

- and you get to sit up front with me

ShooterSF

Anyone notice how ****in fussy students are getting here?!!!

Prof.Badass

B&Q Till Monkey: "So you're a student yeah?"

Me: "Yes Sir, a poor impoverished hungry Student I is"

B&Q Till Monkey: "Mind me asking why you are buying a retro-styled bath, 32 Litres of White Spirits and 9 Chainsaws? ?? [?]"

Me: "I really have to do up the house I'm staying in, coz with the rising cost of living an all, i really need at least 2 people to rent out the other 2 rooms!"

Dragan

The title reads like you want to make a really dodgy porn.

Raiser

vinylmesh wrote: »

B&Q Till Monkey: "So you're a student yeah?"

Me: "Yes Sir, a poor impoverished hungry Student I is"

B&Q Till Monkey: "Mind me asking why you are buying a retro-styled bath, 32 Litres of White Spirits and 9 Chainsaws? ?? [?]"

Me: "I really have to do up the house I'm staying in, coz with the rising cost of living an all, i really need at least 2 people to rent out the other 2 rooms!"

Hired and promoted to Director of Regional Expansion for Europe, Asia and the Middle East.

Dragan wrote: »

The title reads like you want to make a really dodgy porn.

Hmmmm- Could be a runner, lets try and get this one off the ground first and if we need to diversify we'll have a look into the ZimmerSex meets GirlsInSpecs angle ok ?

Dragan

Raiser wrote: »

Hmmmm- Could be a runner, lets try and get this one off the ground first and if we need to diversify we'll have a look into the ZimmerSex meets GirlsInSpecs angle ok ?

Sadly i think the market is already pretty full here.

Might want to look at clown midgets and old wimmins.

As you said though, tis for another time.

Raiser

Dragan wrote: »

Sadly i think the market is already pretty full here.

Might want to look at clown midgets and old wimmins.

As you said though, tis for another time.

Hired and promoted to Head of the Pornalizing Stuff Department.

daauneal

B&Q Till Monkey: "So you're a student yeah?"

You: "Yes Sir, a poor impoverished hungry Student I is"

B&Q Till Monkey: "Mind me asking why you are buying a retro-styled bath, 32 Litres of White Spirits and 9 Chainsaws? ?? [?]"

You: "Yes I do mind! It's none of your business,now give me my change.


OP I don't drink, can I just get the money instead, don't worry I wont even talk to you and I'll bring some of my better looking female friends with me to keep us company.;)

Prof.Badass

lazy bastard, besides, he doesn't drink. he must be boring.

no offence, but in general non-drinkers as a group are more boring than drinkers.:eek::D

I realised a while ago that this was a joke. Pity though, i would have liked all that free booze

JohnCleary

I'll do it for a bottle of Buckfast

daauneal

vinylmesh wrote: »

lazy bastard, besides, he doesn't drink. he must be boring.

no offence, but in general non-drinkers as a group are more boring than drinkers.:eek::D

I realised a while ago that this was a joke. Pity though, i would have liked all that free booze

How dare you , I take . . . . absolutely no offence to that statement, I can be boring at times ,( hence taking the wemins along as they can be a bit slutty when bored)

Prof.Badass

daauneal wrote: »

How dare you , I take . . . . absolutely no offence to that statement, I can be boring at times ,( hence taking the wemins along as they can be a bit slutty when bored)

#

ok.... (wasn't expecting that) btw, I wasn't saying you personlly were boring... but you get the drift.

daauneal

vinylmesh wrote: »

#

ok.... (wasn't expecting that) btw, I wasn't saying you personlly were boring... but you get the drift.

OP I can get at least 8 cute co-eds for an "educational" video on orgies held in large home improvement stores in ireland.

(would also be a good reason to give to the b&q till monkey for the hot tub/retro bath at least):eek:

ec18

Make it a bottle JD or Johnnie Walker (Black Label) and I'm in.

Jay P

I'll give you my soul for a bottle of Jager...

j-bone

B&Q Till Monkey: "So you're a student yeah?"

Me: "Yes Sir, a poor impoverished hungry Student I is"

B&Q Till Monkey: "Mind me asking why you are buying a retro-styled bath, 32 Litres of White Spirits and 9 Chainsaws? ?? [?]"

Me: "doing my thesis on eco friendly - body disposal techniques... im one cadaver short of a dead certain two-1....!";);)

rainbow kirby

I have a valid student card and Dutch is fcuking vile.

Raiser

Manties wrote: »

Tuborg perhaps?

Varkov wrote: »

Can you pay me yachts?

kearnsr wrote: »

I've a student card but I can afford to drink expesnive beer (anything more expesinve than 6 for 6) so you can take your offer and stick it up your tight "i'm trying to save 10%" arse!

Unless you want to offer more than 5 dutch (not even a full six pack you cheapo!)

JohnCleary wrote: »

I'll do it for a bottle of Buckfast

ec18 wrote: »

Make it a bottle JD or Johnnie Walker (Black Label) and I'm in.

Jay P wrote: »

I'll give you my soul for a bottle of Jager...

rainbow kirby wrote: »

I have a valid student card and Dutch is fcuking vile.

Hmmmm - seems that students aren't as easily exploited as they used to be? Thought there was a recession on ?

- Hopefully Batt "I employ idiots who can't count gud" O'Keeffe fcuks off to Vegas with next terms grant money