Flat mate's bf

Trouble2008

This is a long one people please hear me out

I moved in with an old friend after living by myself for a few years
I was pretty happy living by myself. My folks and friends thought I was isolated etc and I decided to give it a try.

The thing is we get on well, but I like my personal space. Sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone after work. I have explained this to my flat mate.

She has a boyfriend who is over in the apartment at least 6nights a week. He works close to the apartment,I get home and he's there, I wake up and I can see his coat in the hall way.

We only have one TV In the apartment and when I get home I would love to watch TV but because they are in the living room making out, I always end up in my room.

I can't walk around the house naked because he's always there, the toilet seat is always up in the morning, and they are always watching TV and worse of all I hear all the screaming they make while having sex.

She knows I am uncomfortable with it as I have mentioned it to her, that I don't like staying in the apartment when he's over.

The last time I mentioned it I felt she thought I was jealous, I am not, I just want my house back.
Example: last week he was over 6nights out of 7 the only night he wasn't there is because she spent the night at her friend’s apartment.
This was on Friday night, on Saturday I wanted to relax and he was over,
I was watching TV and he wanted to watch something else. I was watching TV first; I was in the room before him, I should watch what I want right? He asked me if I was watching a program and I said yes, he said he wanted to watch something else and I said no. I was watching a program. They left the house to the cinema after this. On Sunday morning, he was still there! I had to leave the house because I was uncomfortable, I got home from work yesterday and they were out, they got back at 10.

Like surely this is way too much!!! He's always there; I can't talk about it because he's always there!

Am not one for confrontation but this is getting way overboard.

How do I approach her about this situation?

helimachoptor

Jesus, I'd be asking him to pay rent, his presence there is far too much.

does he not have his own place?

barbiegirl

Have a proper chat with your flat mate. Tell her to get a TV in her own room as you want to watch telly in the sitting room in peace. 6 nights out of 7 is a bit much. Explain you agreed to sharing with one person not two and ask can you establish some house rules that work for both of you. Or alternatively move out on your own again. Is it her house? If so you have no choice, put up or move out.

whiskeyman

Trouble2008 wrote: »

I just want my house back.

Quick question - do you own the house / apartment, or are you and your friend renting?

Either way, I think they need to respect you much more. You need to confront this.

Miss Fluff

Move out and look to for somewhere else with mature responsible adults who have a little bit of respect for other people's feelings. He sounds like a parasite, and she a selfish cow.

tinkerbell

Ok the whole "you wanting to walk around naked but can't coz he's there" .... would you walk around naked if she was there by herself? Maybe it's just me but that would freak me out if I was living with a friend and they were walking around naked in the house?!!!!!!!!!!

Second of all, I think 6 out of 7 nights is RIDICULOUS, especially if he is taking over things like the TV, or you don't feel comfortable living there. Why can't they go to his place instead most nights?

You could just talk to her and say "I don't appreciate it when he's here all the time because it is making me uncomfortable, could you stay over at his some nights". The whole constantly hearing them having sex is uncomfortable but six out of seven nights a week is ridiculous - they should be living in their own place by themselves if they wanna be so vocal about their love life.

Think the only option is for you to move back in with yourself, i.e. living alone - ya said you only did it coz your "family & friends" thought you were isolated, you didn't say that it was your idea but theirs, so maybe that's your answer. Good luck.

Raytown Rocks

Trouble2008 wrote: »

I moved in with an old friend after living by myself for a few years

Can you clarify. Was this place your friends and you moved in with her?
Or
Did you both move into a new place together.

If its the first option...theres not a lot you can do.Its her place after all and she is entitled to have her bf over.
If however you both moved into a new place together, let her know how you feel about him always in the way.

mikemac

6 nights out of 7?
That lad should be paying rent

Mr. Incognito

Um, move out?

It's not that hard and it sounds like they're living together already anyway.

They say three is a crowd but I've always found that three is the perfect number to live with as two can turn around and tell the third to put a stop to this sort o f muppetry.

jessbeth

I would definitely not put up with that. I would probably move out in your situation but maybe it might help to have a chat with your flatmate beforehand because she is so loved up she mightened even realise how it's all affecting you.
You definitely shouldn't feel that you have to stay in your room in a flat that you're paying half the rent for and he should also be paying rent if he's there 6 nights a week. That's just crazy.
I know it's sometimes difficult to approach someone regarding situations like this but you'll feel better once you get it sorted out.

AngryBadger

OP your friend is being completely unreasonable. 6 nights out of 7 is a bit much, and the fact that he is there the whole time is out of order. If he was just in her room I'd say fair enough, but he's not living there, he's not paying rent, he shouldn't be leaving his stuff around the apartment or taking over anything like the tv or anything else.

tbh though I don't see that there's much you can do about this. You've already mentioned it to your friend, and nothing was done. You could say it to her again, and be more emphatic, but it's anyone's guess as to whether she'll pay any heed a second time.


Sorry OP, I don't have any advice to offer here, you've spoken to her, she's hasn't done anything about this, if you really can't bear her bf being around all the time I'd start to consider looking for a different place. But if you are at that point I'd let her know, then she may see just how big a deal this is.

wasper

Trouble2008 wrote: »

This is a long one people please hear me out

I moved in with an old friend after living by myself for a few years
I was pretty happy living by myself. My folks and friends thought I was isolated etc and I decided to give it a try.

The thing is we get on well, but I like my personal space. Sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone after work. I have explained this to my flat mate.

She has a boyfriend who is over in the apartment at least 6nights a week. He works close to the apartment,I get home and he's there, I wake up and I can see his coat in the hall way.

We only have one TV In the apartment and when I get home I would love to watch TV but because they are in the living room making out, I always end up in my room.

I can't walk around the house naked because he's always there, the toilet seat is always up in the morning, and they are always watching TV and worse of all I hear all the screaming they make while having sex.

She knows I am uncomfortable with it as I have mentioned it to her, that I don't like staying in the apartment when he's over.

The last time I mentioned it I felt she thought I was jealous, I am not, I just want my house back.
Example: last week he was over 6nights out of 7 the only night he wasn't there is because she spent the night at her friend’s apartment.
This was on Friday night, on Saturday I wanted to relax and he was over,
I was watching TV and he wanted to watch something else. I was watching TV first; I was in the room before him, I should watch what I want right? He asked me if I was watching a program and I said yes, he said he wanted to watch something else and I said no. I was watching a program. They left the house to the cinema after this. On Sunday morning, he was still there! I had to leave the house because I was uncomfortable, I got home from work yesterday and they were out, they got back at 10.

Like surely this is way too much!!! He's always there; I can't talk about it because he's always there!

Am not one for confrontation but this is getting way overboard.

How do I approach her about this situation?

You know deep inside that this is not for you. Leave as soon as possible. Before you lose your friendship with girl, that is if you really care about the friendship.
And the next time he wants to switch channel tell him to get lost.

metamorphic

declare your intent to only pay 1/3 of the rent and bills and see what happens then.

Personally though it seems like one of those situations where you've gotten used to being by yourself and having the run of the place and even though this example is extreme and not fair on you, I don't think you'd be all that happy to share even under better circumstances.

basically you've moved in with someone else to be more social but end up in your room anyway. Complete waste. Go back to living by yourself, get a bf, or just socialise during the week more. Living by yourself doesn't mean you've to be by yourself.

Trouble2008

Okay a bit of background

1. No i don't own it, we are both renting and signed a contract
2. I pay more rent(€75) than she does because my room is bigger(two double bedrooms though)
3. I have a tv in my room but i am waiting for NTL to connect it
4. I wouldn't walk around the house naked, eg: if i wore my pyjamas i would have to wear my house coat because he's there
5. Oh i am seeing someone but i either go over or when he's in the apartment we stay in my room. And try to be discrete.... She wonders if he exist because she never sees him around but thats because we are always quiet
6. Her bf lives with his parents

I don't fancy moving out of this apartment now as it does cost time and money which i don't have

Miss Fluff

Did you move in at the same time?

Email her at work and arrange to meet up (away from the house) after work tomorrow evening. Make a note of your grievances so you won't go on the attack, and try and come to some compromise.

corcors

She's taking the p*ss - having him over 6 nights a week! I know you said you've tried to talk to her and he's around all the time so its difficult. could you maybe email her?? Just saying you don't mind him staying but if him calling over 6 nights a week is going ot become a regular thing then damn right he should be paying rent! And asking you to change the channel?!? How rude

However it will create tension so unfortunately you either put up with it or risk falling out with her

BArra

i sympatise with the situation you are in, ive a similar but not as extensive experience and it makes you feel incredibily uncomfortable when its YOUR right to do what you want, when you want.

you deffo need to have a chat to her, becos she is taking the piss quite frankly with him being over and is jumping to an easy conclusion by instigating you are simply jealous

LegacyUser

Hey OP.

I know exactly where you are coming from. 3 and half years ago I moved in with a friend of mine. She was single at the time and so was I - I thought great - no boyfriends about the place - The 2 bed apt was small.

Anyway, within 3 weeks she started seeing someone. And it became pretty serious very quickly. He was there every evening after work, and at weekends too. I wasn't comfortable with it - he wasn't very sociable and we only conversed when all 3 of us were there. When it was just me and him we had nothing to say to each other.

(For someone who didn't say much he certainly vocalised quite a bit in the bedroom if you know what I mean - cringe....)

As I said I didn't like it, but I kept my mouth shut - He was going travelling in 2 months for a year...so there was light at the end of the tunnel.

However, my light disappeared when he went travelling and came home after 3 weeks because he missed her so much (puke!).

It started all over again. I still said nothing, but when she asked me if I minded I said "Of course not"....typical me - avoid all confrontation.

To make a long story short, I moved out, and moved in with strangers.
We get on great...no gooseberryness...no uncomfortableness...and me and my former flatmate are still on good terms. - I told her I wanted a bigger place closer to town.

Incidentally, she got someone else to rent my room who also had a boyfriend - and then she started complaining about that guy always being around!

Do yourself a favour - move - you'll only start getting depressed soon enough!

Trouble2008

Wait till i mention this...

I have been on a strike since saturday, i don't reply her much or just one sentences because i don't feel the need to.

And she contacted a mutual friend of ours to ask me if everything is okay. I have since ignored them both as i can't explain it to her while he's there.


I have typed at least 6 different mails saying the same thing but i am not sure how i come across.


I was going to suggest them moving out and i could find another flat mate but that may be mean?

This sure is wrecking my head

Neo#

You have to think about whats going to happen whatever you choose. You could stay and do nothing. The situation probably wont change and you will eventually get into a fight with her. Or you could make plans to leave now and just do it. Thats of course is if you dont owe money? Can you just leave without paying anything more or have you paid for a certain amount of rent?

jw297

It's a bit much for him to be there that often, and he definitely shouldn't be making you feel like you cant walk around your own house. I'd say there's nothing wrong in saying to both of them to tone things down a bit in the bedroom, in a lighthearted way, just so they realise they can be heard.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago, when one of my flatmates effectively moved her boyfriend in. It was a bit difficult to say anything at first because the flatmate's parents owned the flat, and I also wanted to avoid confrontation, but I was determined not to let them drive me out of my own sitting room and made myself go in every so often and watch tv with them just so they remembered I lived there too. A couple of times had to ask them to cool down the smooching as it was putting me off my dinner - that used to work for a few days at a time.
If the more subtle tactics don't work then I would say you should definitely talk to your friend properly and maybe also the boyfriend, and explain how it is for you. They might feel they can stay in the sitting room because you're in your room and not realise that you would prefer to be watching tv or whatever in there too. If the friendship is worth holding on to, she should understand that you feel uncomfortable and do something about it. It might possible to agree on how many nights a week he stays over, or which nights, just to make the boundaries a bit clearer, and so that you know when you go home in the evening whether he will be there or not. Good luck with the situation!

kmick

Sharing gets harder as you get older.

I can understand you parents not wanting you to turn into Cat Lady
http://www.neatorama.com/2007/08/08/russian-cat-lady-lives-with-130-cats/

But at the same time you will go mad in this current situation. Instead of becoming the nagging housemate give your months notice and just move out. Sounds like that friend will not be a friend for much longer anyway and she is not exactly doing you any favours with her current live in boyfriend behaviour.

Screw them all - you be cat lady if you want to be. Just dont wake up in 10 years time and wonder where life went - cause thats where it is - sharing an apt with friends should be a joy and even though sometimes you will want to kill them (coming through the wall while shagging = earplugs) mostly it should be a laugh.

Trouble2008

Neo# wrote: »

You have to think about whats going to happen whatever you choose. You could stay and do nothing. The situation probably wont change and you will eventually get into a fight with her. Or you could make plans to leave now and just do it. Thats of course is if you dont owe money? Can you just leave without paying anything more or have you paid for a certain amount of rent?

We both signed the contract, not sure about what the rules are for these sort of things.
I don't mind living alone, my family just bogged me a lot especially my mam.

tinkerbell

Trouble2008 wrote: »

4. I wouldn't walk around the house naked, eg: if i wore my pyjamas i would have to wear my house coat because he's there

Ah! That clears that up then Sorry!

I think it's even harder for you to deal with this situation coz you are so used to having your own space and it's quite a shock going from living by yourself to living with others.

I really think you should speak to her about it - it's completely selfish of her and him being over the whole time and taking over the TV, etc. He is so rude! Next time he does it tell him "no I'm watching this sorry". Unless he's contributing to the NTL bill then he does not have control over the channels, tough luck!

I think the best bet though for you is to move back in by yourself again. And don't mind what your family say about you living by yourself - just coz you live alone doesn't mean you're a loner like.

LightningBolt

You're on strike? Really? That seems childish to me. Staying over every night bar one is ridiculous. Say it to them. If they're not happy you have two options

1) Move out
2) She moves out

It's obvious you're not happy with the situation and you prefer being by yourself.

LightningBolt

You're on strike? Really? That seems childish to me. Staying over every night bar one is ridiculous. Say it to them. If they're not happy you have two options

1) Move out
2) She moves out

It's obvious you're not happy with the situation and you prefer being by yourself.

LegacyUser

I'm sure the contract was signed by two of you!!! Not by the boyfriend. Discuss with the landlord and say that she has replaced you with someone else i.e. the boyfriend. Then declare yourself moving out and that the two of them can pay for the place themselves. Landlord mightn't be too pleased that a non paying tenant is in the place either!

She is taking liberties with your hard earned cash by having a freeloader in the place. I'm sure it is adding to all utility bills etc.

Fat Pie Lot

Talk to your friend/flatmate, OP.

Explain to her that you almost feel that it's their place and you're renting off them rather than you paying more than half the rent and having your name on the lease because he's always round and they're monopolising the communal areas, so much so that you feel like you're going to be living in your room for the remainder of your agreement (I assume you're tied into a minimum term?)

Trouble2008

Okay guys heres an update, i didn't get home until late last night and my housemate sent me a text that she made dinner. I declined because i was at a friends apartment, i got home and the house was clean, she did the grocery shop and cooked, plus the house was minus bf.
I was in a confrontational mood and didn't want to bring up the topic as it may have spiralled out of control.
But we watched the football highlights and chit chatted before i went to bed.


Now i dunno do i still go ahead and confront her, start house hunting and confront her but know i am moving out, or just wait and see how things continue this week?


I know the strike is childish but i couldn't help it.

eth0_

Wait and see what happens for the rest of the week.

You should definitely say something to her. You could even phrase it as if you are concerned that their relationship will suffer from seeing each other every day - which it will, if they have just started seeing each other!

I would also mention the noisy sex, that will guarantee she will be so embarrassed he won't be staying over for a while :-)

Trouble2008

eth0_ wrote: »

Wait and see what happens for the rest of the week.

You should definitely say something to her. You could even phrase it as if you are concerned that their relationship will suffer from seeing each other every day - which it will, if they have just started seeing each other!

I would also mention the noisy sex, that will guarantee she will be so embarrassed he won't be staying over for a while :-)

She knows very well about the noisy sex! I had to voice it to her especially when i got home one day and they were at it in the sitting room:eek:

I got into the apartment and heard noises i was gonna go in but i decided not to and true to that they were having sex in the Living room!



I have read all my replies and it does sound like a sad story tbh.

Karen_*

You've mentioned to her that you don't like staying in the apartment when he's over and yet she still has him there round the clock? You're not being mean in asking them to move out. She has no problem at all with you being uncomfortable in your own home?

He should be paying rent. I don't know how they both don't feel awkward about the situation as it is. Tell her you feel like her lodger and maybe she'd be better off getting a student in to pay her boyfriends way. Or maybe they'd like to both pay rent somewhere and afford a place of their own. As it is its like you're paying a rent for him to be there and not be there yourself.

beth-lou

Trouble2008 wrote: »

Okay guys heres an update, i didn't get home until late last night and my housemate sent me a text that she made dinner. I declined because i was at a friends apartment, i got home and the house was clean, she did the grocery shop and cooked, plus the house was minus bf.
I was in a confrontational mood and didn't want to bring up the topic as it may have spiralled out of control.
But we watched the football highlights and chit chatted before i went to bed.


Now i dunno do i still go ahead and confront her, start house hunting and confront her but know i am moving out, or just wait and see how things continue this week?


I know the strike is childish but i couldn't help it.

There is a very simple solution to this. Just tell her whats wrong. She's already asked. So if you are her friend, do her the courtesy of being honest so that she can at least have a chane to fix the problem.

The way you are handling the situation is actually making it worse.
If you don't want to say something, then move out. If you want to stay then politely tell her whats up. You don't have to confront her to let her know. All you have to do is say that you are finding it difficult having her bf over almost every night and would she mind limiting it a bit and give you some space. Sounds as though she is starting to become aware of the problem, but you should tell her why it's so hard for you. She probably thought you were ok with it.

If you value your friendship you should tell her what she's doing wrong in a very calm and collected manner. Simple as.

jim o doom

Trouble2008 wrote: »

She knows very well about the noisy sex! I had to voice it to her especially when i got home one day and they were at it in the sitting room:eek:

I got into the apartment and heard noises i was gonna go in but i decided not to and true to that they were having sex in the Living room!



I have read all my replies and it does sound like a sad story tbh.

Noisy sex is annoying admittedly - but sex in the living room is downright rude if you are living with someone, and there's a strong chance they might walk through the door. Personally I would have probably blown my top and lambasted the pair of them for being such a pair of ignorant.. well you get my meaning.. ( I have a temper :P )
Two bachelor friends of mine moved in together, and same situation; one got a new girl shortly after they moved together, she was over 6/7 nights a week, always heavily smooching on the couch until one mate moved out & the haven't been the same good friends they were before ever since.
I'd give her a good dressing down and give the option that either one of you move out, or the boyfriend comes over considerably less.

Gyalist

Trouble2008 wrote: »

We both signed the contract, not sure about what the rules are for these sort of things.
I don't mind living alone, my family just bogged me a lot especially my mam.

If I were your mother I'd be much more worried about your seeming inability to stand up for yourself and be assertive. I hope that you aren't like that in other areas of your life or you'll be taken advantage of by most people. Your issue seems to be much more than your friend's ever-present boyfriend.

Sesudra

Moving in with friends can be a total nightmare,especially if the other person is headstrong or inconsiderate(as the OPs friend seems to be).

Moved in with a good mate,and she was a total nightmare housemate-having very loud s*x with the bedroom door open,was very messy,and very stingy about money and household items.yet if I had a fella over or was a bit untidy,she'd be all over me.Said it to her a few times but always descended into massive arguements.So in the end,I moved out and am very happy where I'm living now.

Bottom line-some people are impossible to live with.Move out now!

Irishcrx

Had this with a mate I used to rent with, there was 3 of us sharing and one of the lads girlfriends never ever left the house, she would eat all the food , never clean up after herself , walk crisps etc into the carpet, leave lights and tv on all night and run up the bills , never paid a bit of rent or helped out with the house work. She would also moan at people who were using the kitchen at the same time as her and had the cheek to do us up cleaning lists and hand them to us , when one of the lads confronted her about it he gets hit with a bike helmet by her boyfriend our mate at the time for "Abusing her" so we told them were to stick it and got them both out.

Own my house now and am renting out a room and it will definatly not be to a mate far too messy when it goes wrong, at least when you don't know them it's easier to deal with problems.

jessbeth

Just take the bull by the horns and tell her. You had the perfect opportunity last night, if he's not there again tonight just take a deep breadth and tell her. Sounds a little like she may have noticed something was wrong though considering the difference last night. On the positive side if she keeps it up you won't have to say anything.

Faith

Oh, I really feel your pain OP! I've never been in a situation that bad though.

When I was looking for a flatmate for my apartment, I was seriously tempted to put a clause in the contract stating that if a partner stayed over more than 3 nights a week, they would be expected to pay rent and contribute to bills. I think your flatmates boyfriend should definitely be paying rent.

I'd still talk to her and tell her that the current situation is unacceptable. Tell her you cannot continue to live like that and one of you will have to move out. Suggest that she and her boyfriend get a place together so that they can make as much noise as they like.

eth0_

Trouble2008 wrote: »

She knows very well about the noisy sex! I had to voice it to her especially when i got home one day and they were at it in the sitting room:eek:

You need to move out of this flat. Your flatmate sounds like a total wagon. If she has such little consideration for you that she would have sex in the living room knowing you could walk in, she is obviously a very selfish person who is probably unlikely to change.

Trouble2008

Update:

On Wednesday she rang me and was ranting about her work, she asked me if i was okay after 5mins of ranting and i said we need to talk.
She got home late that night, i was in bed when she came in and last night i got home late so we didn't talk much plus i was quite tipsy.
I woke her up this morning cause she was late to work, we didn't talk much.

The bf hasn't been in the house since Monday night so thats a good one, i reckon he would be here this weekend and i don't mind him around at the weekends.

Hopefully we would talk about this issue this weekend.

Tommy the Cat

Jaysus that chap sounds like a complete clown. Dont be afraid to voice your opion, you need to stand up for yourself. Now crack that whip!!

Trouble2008

We had a chat yesterday, i told how i felt about the bf, the sex and everything.
We talked about

1. The sex: she apologised. Apparently they didn't know they were loud and as for sex in the living room-"We didn't expect you home so soon"
2. BF over: she also apologised and said they would keep it to a minimum especially as i don't have NTL in my room. And we have to share the TV
3. One of us moving out: she apologised again and we discussed there was no need for any of us to move out. It was a misunderstanding and it's been aired.

And after that we watched a movie together

Tbh, the bf hasn't been over since last Tuesday. Hopefully it works for the better.

FearDark

Glad your situation has been somwhat resolved OP, I fully understand your pain, i too am sharing a house but with 2 lads, one of the lads ownes the house and is one of the soundest blokes you will ever meet (too quiet for his own good), however the other lad who we share with is the dirtiest smelliest f**ker you will ever meet but his girlfriend is worse, as in your case she's there 6 out of 7 nights and is an absolute scumbag, she's there when i get home from college everyday, has the remote control for the sky in hand while making dinner for the boyfriend, thus taking up the sitting room and kitchen for 2 hours every nite, they are noisy as f**k in the bedroom - not only the sex but she insists on wearing high heels on a timber floor in a timber framed house 24/7, the girl has single handedly ruined my relationship with my girlfriend as she told her parents i was a drug dealer and a scumbag!!!!!!! Its a complete disaster as I basicly stay up in my room until the coast is clear, theres such bad feeling between me and the two of them its making me not want to come home at night. Besides the fact that she's using electricity I pay for, my toiletries, doesnt clean up, hijacks rooms and TV.... WHATS THIS COSTING ME! I get a literal pain in my head when I hear the key turning in the door, she has her own key!!

Ive taken my grievences up with the landlord and as much as he hates her he is getting rent off this guy and as he spends all the time in his room working anyway it doesnt really affect him he says...

Sorry it seems like ive hijacked your thread OP, i didnt mean to rant on but once i started...

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Ah problem solved... nothing better than complaining to the right people

It shouldn't have happened in the first place, just don't be so soft in future and put your foot down.

On another note, it is extremely difficult going from living on your own to living with other people, especially if that other person is your friend.

missmatty

FearDark wrote: »

Glad your situation has been somwhat resolved OP, I fully understand your pain, i too am sharing a house but with 2 lads, one of the lads ownes the house and is one of the soundest blokes you will ever meet (too quiet for his own good), however the other lad who we share with is the dirtiest smelliest f**ker you will ever meet but his girlfriend is worse, as in your case she's there 6 out of 7 nights and is an absolute scumbag, she's there when i get home from college everyday, has the remote control for the sky in hand while making dinner for the boyfriend, thus taking up the sitting room and kitchen for 2 hours every nite, they are noisy as f**k in the bedroom - not only the sex but she insists on wearing high heels on a timber floor in a timber framed house 24/7, the girl has single handedly ruined my relationship with my girlfriend as she told her parents i was a drug dealer and a scumbag!!!!!!! Its a complete disaster as I basicly stay up in my room until the coast is clear, theres such bad feeling between me and the two of them its making me not want to come home at night. Besides the fact that she's using electricity I pay for, my toiletries, doesnt clean up, hijacks rooms and TV.... WHATS THIS COSTING ME! I get a literal pain in my head when I hear the key turning in the door, she has her own key!!

Ive taken my grievences up with the landlord and as much as he hates her he is getting rent off this guy and as he spends all the time in his room working anyway it doesnt really affect him he says...

Sorry it seems like ive hijacked your thread OP, i didnt mean to rant on but once i started...

Emmm......I'm sorry for you and all, but why the hell are you still there? Can you not move out? There is no way anyone should have to put up with that kind of situation. If the landlord isn't going to do anything then it's up to you to take action. I was in a situation early this year with a difficult flatmate as well, and I did put up with it for quite a while. But I decided to take responsibility for my own life (my friends were a bit sick listening to me whinging about it all the time :pac: ) and now I am living in an amazing house with great flatmates and am sorry I didn't move sooner. Go for it OP

Trouble2008

FearDark wrote: »

Glad your situation has been somwhat resolved OP, I fully understand your pain, i too am sharing a house but with 2 lads, one of the lads ownes the house and is one of the soundest blokes you will ever meet (too quiet for his own good), however the other lad who we share with is the dirtiest smelliest f**ker you will ever meet but his girlfriend is worse, as in your case she's there 6 out of 7 nights and is an absolute scumbag, she's there when i get home from college everyday, has the remote control for the sky in hand while making dinner for the boyfriend, thus taking up the sitting room and kitchen for 2 hours every nite, they are noisy as f**k in the bedroom - not only the sex but she insists on wearing high heels on a timber floor in a timber framed house 24/7, the girl has single handedly ruined my relationship with my girlfriend as she told her parents i was a drug dealer and a scumbag!!!!!!! Its a complete disaster as I basicly stay up in my room until the coast is clear, theres such bad feeling between me and the two of them its making me not want to come home at night. Besides the fact that she's using electricity I pay for, my toiletries, doesnt clean up, hijacks rooms and TV.... WHATS THIS COSTING ME! I get a literal pain in my head when I hear the key turning in the door, she has her own key!!

Ive taken my grievences up with the landlord and as much as he hates her he is getting rent off this guy and as he spends all the time in his room working anyway it doesnt really affect him he says...

Sorry it seems like ive hijacked your thread OP, i didnt mean to rant on but once i started...

Dude, i feel your pain. Sometimes i wonder why we can't have a rule book before we start sharing with people.


My flatmate was disappointed i felt the need to move out, and i told her i had enough... She was mortified when i repeated their "conversation" in bed.... That was cheeky of me but imagining listening to that all the time!:rolleyes:

LadyE

Really glad things worked out for you OP