inner peace is getting me down

LegacyUser

In the past year I've changed drastically. it was initiated by a break up with a long term girlfriend. after we split I set about fixing all the things that i felt where personal flaws such as my health and psychique as I was a bit over weight and then I set about trying to sort out personal problems like depression/stress over my career.

so i joined a gym, learned how to eat right and lost all the weight and now have a healthy body and I've managed to get myself into a less stressfull job situation by switching careers and dropping my original plan and so have become considerably less stressed/ depressed.
the thing is I did all this so that if I ever got back with my ex these wouldn't be issues anymore, however I've since gotten over her and infact don't really want to go out with anyone and after dropping the old career (which had been a life long dream that was causing me nothing but trouble) I now discovered that I have absolutly no passion at all.

I've always judged my life on how I was doing in my career and who i was with. but for the first time in my life neither of these are a problem and I kind of don't know what to do with myself.

I've several women around me that could potentialy become a girlfriend and I'm enjoying spending time with them all (I'm not sleeping with any of them just socialising) but the concept of a 'relationship' no longer appeals to me. and while my new job doesn't really stimulate me it is comfortable and kind of in the same vein as what i wanted to do originally.

this emotional flatline has bled into every aspect of my life. I now have no desire to go see a film. I stick on the TV to discover theres nothing I want to watch. I start reading a book and lose interest after a few pages. I go into town to go buy something and I just walk from shop to shop seeing nothing of any interest.

everythings now boring. I'm terrified that I need drama in my life for me to deem it interesting as I really don't want to be one of those people and I've worked hard to get myself away from that life.

I know people are going to say it sounds like depression but I don't think it is, I'm actually quite happy. however I tend to fluctuate between not too unhappy and not too happy.

has anyone else ever experienced this?

von Neumann

To be honest you just sound bored, I think we all bore of the mondane daily stuff from time to time.
Your just going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Nevyn

Achievers Ennui.

Seems you are a person who was driven by circumstance to make a lot of changes in your life and you have now accomplished that and are left thinking what's next.

So your last relationship was the catalyst for those changes, before that you are chasing the 'dream' job and then fixing things to have the 'dream' relationship with your ex.
You are now in a place where you have rejected bot those 'dreams' and you are wandering about rudderless.

Our dreams and aspirations give us goals to aim for and our passion drives us forward.
So time for you to look at new dreams and set yourself new goals, as the song says
'You've got to have a dream if you don't' have a dream how you gonna have a dream come true'.

the glass woman

Firstly well done OP on what you've achieved so far, a lot of people just complain about being unhappy in their current situation where as you made those changes happen. I agree with thaedydal about finding new dreams and aspirations, but in order to do that, how about you take some time out and go traveling? Or even a two week holiday would help you clear your mind and re focus on what you want from life. It would also give you a new perspective on things when you return..

paperclip2

Well done on making the positive changes you have done OP.

I think Thaedydal makes some really good points. I have worked with people in your situation and it can be a difficult place to move on from especially since your traditional motivators aren't working.
I find its like trying to start a car on a slope. The engine won't turn over until you are already moving downhill. So maybe pick a goal, it can be anything and stick to it. The object is not to achieve a particular aim, its to get you back into the pattern of goal setting and achieving.

If you enjoyed the gym, maybe take it to the next level, train for a 10km or whatever. Think about the things you were half interested in but you let go in pursuit of your career goals. Now you have a chance to go back and explore some of those things in more depth. At this time of year there are lots of part-time courses out there. Look at www.nightcourses.com or get the guide to nigtcourses in Dublin and find something half interesting and give it a go. Learn to surf, learn to skydive. Do something to get the heart pounding, something that will give you a sense of achievement. You can sort this out OP. It will take effort and dedication but you know you are capable of both.

Also this kind of paralysis can also be caused by underlying psychological issues which may need certain forms of assistance, but only you know that OP.

Good luck.

miss_shadow

I was going to say you sound like you do need to get out of your comfort zone!!! this happened to me, not only once either!
what worked for me was going on holiday and learning new things that im interested in that i didn't get around to do when my life was cluttered with junk and doing things that i needed to do to succeed.:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D