Please help - Kissing Trouble :(

LegacyUser

Hi -

Hoping someone can advise me or help me with this a little bit. Not sure what could be said to reassure me but here goes.

I'm in my early twenties and not too bad looking.

Anytime though I would be on a date or meet someone in a club I just feel that I am doing the whole kissing thing wrong.

I'm fairly tongue-tied (not sure what the medical name is) but my tongue only goes out my mouth prob 1 cm max.

So I can't give too much tongue action when snogging and it really annoys me. It has got to a stage where I just want to cut the frenelum (the bit under the tongue)

I had this choice when I was about 8 but my mother decided against it and apparently as an adult it's never done as there is too much risk involved.

It has started to get me really down and ashamed and justg feeling ****. While I enjoy the kiss I never feel the other person will because I can't use tongue.

I gather it is a main part of kissing - It usually results in no follow up calls or dates.

I guess there's nothing I can do... This is prob more of a rant but I'm just feeling so crap and worthless

Thanks for reading..

Guest

Eh, I really wouldn't worry about it. Less is definitely more when it comes to tongue and kissing. Someone who'll give you no tongue at all when kissing is inifinitely better than someone who's nothing but tongue shoved down your throat. This is just my preference anyway, it's gotta be different for everyone. This tongue thing won't matter in the least to most people, so forget about it.

rizzla

I don't like women who ram the tongue down my throat.

I never find however that you have to ram your tongue down there's. You don't need to feel their tonsils.

Try holding the back of their head while kissing them, slowly pulling them closer to you, then work the neck a little.

mcgiggy

Seriously man I wouldnt worry about it all you are really overthinking the whole kissing thing...

mawk

amateurs use tongue.

veterans talk logistics.

wait... i confused two phrases there somewhere..

smellslikeshoes

Tongue length is right at the bottom for things that are important for a kiss. You shouldn't worry about it.

Tar.Aldarion

I wouldn't worry about it, your tongue is the same as mine. It's fine.

b3t4

I concur with the rest.

When it comes to kissing less is definitely more when it comes to using the tongue. Using your hands while your kissing to caress him/her adds to their experience. Caressing their face, hair, arms, waist, back and back of the neck while you kiss is very intimate and nice for the receiver.

A

Marksie

The tongue does not make the kiss, the intent makes the kiss. if you put all your awareness and desire into a kiss then that is the important thing.

There are very many ways of kissing that don't involve the tongue that can be equally as enjoyable and arousing. From gentle play on the others lips to firm but slow movements, to gently teasing the others lips into your mouth.
The tongue doesn't need to be stuck out, for example, you can be kissing and use the tip to gently trace the line of the others lips.
Further kisses neednt be restricted to the lips, gently kissing the nape of the neck and using the tip of the tongue to tickle the area.

But apart from the techniques, the most important has been alluded too..focus and intent.
If you make the kiss everything then that will be transmitted through. So even then the simplest kiss will be mindblowing
B3t4 raises and interesting point about touch.... a simple kiss combined with a very gentle stroking of the neck with the fingertips will result in much more responsivness for example.

ShooterSF

Man you're way overthinking it. Personally I tend to leave the level of tongue up to the lady and just follow it. If she wants a tongue wrestle you'll know about it

Whenever I'm kissing I focus on my hands like other suggestions above. I love the tactic of running your hand from the neck into the hair, making a fist and giving a SLIGHT tug then moving the kiss straight down to side of neck/shoulders.

Enjoy yourself, don't try and lick her tonsils and tease a little and all will go well

Also you've now made me insecure about my tongue, it hardly gets past my lips

Tar.Aldarion

In fact, thinking about it, you're better off with your short tongue, poeple with long ones can make more of a mess of it. I had my tonsils removed but thanks for checking and so forth.

jessbeth

I would definitely agree with what most people are saying, less is more! I've kissed a few tonsil ticklers on occasion and that's just grotesque. Most girls will appreciate nice fresh breadth over a lungful of tongue any day

zuroph

lots of tongue action is for teen discos, after that kisses change totally. dont worry about it, ur doing it right!

LegacyUser

Generally when there's a problem to do with kissing or anything else along those lines, there's other ways to make up for it..

If you're self-conscious about a short tongue, first of all, it doesn't NEED to be long.. You can do just fine with 1cm.

Always make sure your lips are in good shape, use vaseline etc. to make sure your lips are soft, these can be your best weapons. Closing your lips onto your partners bottom lip is always a good one, or just soft, slow passionate kissing.

HANDS!! These are very important.. There's a good pressure point on the back of the neck, and if you use it right (don't choke the guy/girl, simple as that ) it'll drive them wild.

When moving in for the kiss, start with both hands on the cheeks (try keep them warm!), slowly slide down onto the back of the neck, down the sides of the chest (spread enough so your little finger can touch their arms) and keep going down onto the hips. Any further down is optional, although a squeeze on the bum to bring them closer is always good.

If you're getting really into the kiss, try grabbing their clothes and making a fist, and hold them closer. Works like a charm...

Finally, while you're doing all of this with your hands, don't forget what you're doing with your mouth... You don't want to rub them all over and leave your mouth doing nothing, that's just creepy!

If you're doing this (correctly) you should have no problems... And if after all this you still get no calls/texts, it's not your kissing, my friend...

Good luck!