What the hell is wrong with me?

LegacyUser

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a couple of months now, and we've both fallen really fast. I'm head over heels in love with her. I've just left for college in London and we decided to do the long distance thing. It wasn't really something that had to be discussed..more just a clarification.

Now, I'm away and missing her like mad. My housemates and I went out on a pub crawl and met up with a few other people. I was chatting to other people, and one of them was a girl. We got pretty pally..joking etc. We never touched, kissed or anything of the like, but I feel guilty as hell. There was obviously an attraction there...on both sides. It was obvious as hell. The way we were talking to each other etc.

I had a few in me and began to feel things I really shouldn't have. I know many would say "you're obviously not that mad about the other one"...but you'd be wrong. I've waited soo long for a woman like her. She fits the bill perfectly and I wouldn't trade the world for her.

Once I got back to my apartment, and looked at her pic, I felt so ****ing ashamed of myself. I love her with all my heart and I'm such a ****in hypocrite for acting the way I did Even one of the housemates came up to me and said "she is so into you, you're in there"...this is when I realised I needed to back off.

Eugh, I dunno. I'm just so annoyed at myself. How can you act like that when you're in love with someone else?

This isn't a secluded case either. I was the same with my ex. I just get some sort of buzz out of the first "stage" as it were.

I'm a dick.

Christ.

Jack B. Badd

Guess what? You're allowed to talk to other women when you're in a relationship. You're even allowed to have a laugh with them. From what you were saying, I presume you were flirting with with this girl in the pub but some harmless flirting shouldn't hurt your relationship if you don't take it any further than flirting. As for being attracted to someone other than your girlfriend, that part of your brain doesn't shut down just because you're no longer single.
If you're finding the long distance relationship thing hard, why not go home to see your girlfriend for a holiday. Even a weekend could help. Have you discussed her moving over to you? I know it's drastic and very much dependent on her life and desires but it might be worth bringing up if you haven't already.

Jack Sheehan

You're being way too hard on yourself dude, you didn't do anything wrong, don't worry.

LegacyUser

Yeah, we've dicussed the moving over issue. We decided we're both gonna finish what we're doing (degree-wise) and meet up at the finish line.

As for the holiday thing, definately gonna be doing that.

Jack B. Badd

what_the_hell wrote: »

As for the holiday thing, definately gonna be doing that.

Good. And as for the "not being so hard on yourself" thing?

littlebitdull

I totally agree you are being a bit hard on yourself. Ok so you met someone and clicked and she may have felt the same with you. But you did nothing wrong - nothing.

Even after many years of happy marrage its possible to meet someone on a night out and get on really well with them, but again as long as nothing happens its fine.

Ease up a little on yourself, as long as you stay true to your heart and your girlfriend, stop beating yourself up over nothing.

Reesy

littlebitdull wrote: »

I totally agree you are being a bit hard on yourself. Ok so you met someone and clicked and she may have felt the same with you. But you did nothing wrong - nothing.

Even after many years of happy marrage its possible to meet someone on a night out and get on really well with them, but again as long as nothing happens its fine.

Ease up a little on yourself, as long as you stay true to your heart and your girlfriend, stop beating yourself up over nothing.

+1

I love the company & attention of other women but I never, ever do anything unfaithful. I've learned to draw a very clear line and never cross it. I also put lots of effort into nurturing my relationship with the woman I love. Works well for me - hope you find the right path.

Ainekav

Listen, there is not a thing wrong with chattin to other women, even a bit of a flirt. not a thing i tell ya! i'm in the long-distance thing myself and it in no way takes away from the fact that you love your OH. jesus stop bein so hard on yourself and relax! you sound like a decent skin, dont be worryin yourself!

A

StockCube

What so you mean you travelled all the way to London and your sex drive came too!!!??

Your reading in to this IMHO - Nothing happened, or even nearly happened. It's natural to fancy other people - crossing the line and doing something about it is a whole other ball game....If anything your probably missing the closeness you have here at home with your girlfriend - and even with a few drinks you were clever enough to realise that this other girl was not going to fill that void.

Feel better, your a normal bloke. Your girlfriend sounds lucky to have a nice guy who cares about her like you do