Huge vent

SnowMonkey

hey guys and girls

admin im sorry for this but i really got to let this out i feel like a spammer.... granted its close to it but past day or two have been good but bad.....

So I've been going for councilling for the past two weeks its great, im dea;ling with my issues and slowly letting go of my old self I have lots of work to do but we started with possibly one of the worst memoreys/experences of my life. and it felt good to let it out but i got to let it out more so this is where this post is coming from I hope you all realise that what im about to say may shock you but i need to let it out. if you want to add anything please go right ahead and do so.

Ok when i was aged 11 to 13 The last two years In primary school I had the same teacher for booth 5th and 6th class this man never liked me at all infact It's apprent that this "teacher" wanted to do one thing make my life a living hell. It starts of with 5th class i was a young kid a kid yet because i had painted tipx on my head it was deamed a punishable offence... so he calle dme up to the head of the class where he proceeded to take my hand and show the intire class and then turned round to me and called me the village idiot and that id never amount to nothing. He got to humilate me in front of a hole class.

His punishment was go to the head master and made a song a dance about it as in go west to the office door and enjoyed the fact that i was going to get in to trouble. So off i went where i was shouted at and for 6 week's they Isolated me from all the kids a lunch, deamed a punishable offence i was'nt aloowed to talk to anybody i could eat my lunch and write storys, and i was expected to have something constructive done in an hour... for 5 weeks that was pretty bad but it worked I was left on my own... How I feel about this is not to bad but it anoys me that teachers would do this kind of thing to teach a child a lesson, other things would be thrown at me because i was a prodastant he'd allways throw nasty remarks to me because my perents where english... I got into fights with glass mates over it and genrally isolated from other kids... I dont remember much of the rest of that year but im shore i will.

6th class came all to short. way to short. so in 6th glas he seated me at the corner bye the window which was great i just looked out the window the hole day but he used to allow a girl to abuse me bye calling me big lips and big nose and laughed openly about it in front of the rest of the class gave them the example that they cpouold make fun of me and this continued for most of the year till one day im not shore what i did wrong but he braught me to another window, showed me a man hole cover and told me to stand there, so i did then he got the hole class to come over and point and laugh at me, apprentl this is how this man deals with children bye humilating them in front of the hole glass, and openly laughing at me him self and enjoying it ...

It made me cry but at the same time something that I will allways feel so proud about is the fact that I bolted... I ran as hard and as fast as possible i stoped at the edge of the school grounds where i cried... my little eyes out...He sent one of the girls to come get me and i refused to so she went back and he sent another girl to come get me I still refused so he sent another girl to go get me and i came back reluctinly, when i got back to the class he pulled me out and braught me aside where he asked me who the hell do i think i was im not aloowed to do things like that and my perents would be hearing about this....

He never had the balls to tell them because if he had of done my dad who is an amazing man probably would of beatin him I never ever saw him loose his temper as child but what he done would of truly warrented such behavour.....

14 years later Ive relised that this is one of my biggist most painfull memorys in my life, I mean Ive cried while postng this i had to let it out so i could cry about it , because i needed to , the resentment i have for this teacher is huge the hate the bitterness the hate the fact that he humilated me in front of 30 kids aloowed them to make fun of me... and laughed at it... I swear im not evil but part of me want's to do things nasty things to this person... would it do any good NO, would it help me deal with it Probably not as a result i have never had any self worth self confidance or self esteam i think this is part of the reason Ive had so many problems and this is part of a big issue in my life there where other moment's which could be account
for other problems

Im sorry this was such a long read but i had to let this out and i feel better for it....

my counciller told me I have the right to be angry and i do but i needed to just let it all out and im posting it because i just need to

thanks for reading...

towel401

that was fairly bad, i thought I had it bad in primary school but this is a whole lot worse. there are a lot of people on this forum who had a fairly bad experience in school and if you look around you will find similar threads.

just be glad that you will never have to go to school or deal with this kind of **** again so you have nothing to worry about now really so don't let this douchebag of a teacher waste too much more of your time

SnowMonkey

towel401 wrote: »

that was fairly bad, i thought I had it bad in primary school but this is a whole lot worse. there are a lot of people on this forum who had a fairly bad experience in school and if you look around you will find similar threads.

just be glad that you will never have to go to school or deal with this kind of **** again so you have nothing to worry about now really so don't let this douchebag of a teacher waste too much more of your time

Hey mate, thanks Oh i had other time's but no where nearly as bad and as painfull as these memorys, I feel like ive let it all out i needed to i dont feel so upset about it now but its given me an anger in asertion which feels good...

thanks for reading i just had to let it out......

miss_shadow

that is so sad, i'm glad you are getting counceling for it.
my principal picked on me, but the more he threw at me, the more mouthy i got , i spat chewing gum in his hand, played truant most of the time, left school at 16. he singled me out of everyone in the school (over 500 students) along with my mate's who stuck out like a sore thumb. i took it that he was a snob and i was like a disease or bad bacteria to him, thats how i felt.

In your case, it is so much different. this man bullied you severly, a grown man, and you the student, should be able to feel at ease with his teacher/ 'educated' caring adult who genuinely wanted to 'teach' children.
i'm english too, had a few adults in my area whilst growing up who didn't want me playing with their children because of my nationality and religion i guess, i couldn't understand it, i kept asking one friend why her mother didn't like me and got upset about it , i was 10yrs old so this kind of ignorance or whatever mentality they have is beyond me!!

Peleus

you could seriously sue that teacher or at least make him pay for all the councelling. what a prick.

Dizzyblonde

What an utter b*stard, he was probably a very weak man and doing this kind of thing made him feel big. When I was in primary school there was a nun who loved picking on me too - I hated her guts.
Write him a letter and tell him exactly what you think of him. You don't have to post it, just get it all out on paper then close the door on it. Don't waste another minute of your life on him because he's not worth it.

SnowMonkey

Thanks folks for your reply's

I felt amazeing today like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulder's.....

The way i see it is like this...

I did nothing wrong the fact that I've done nothing wrong do I need to ask why this man did what he did ???

i feel I dont need to I was child young inocent his shadow has affected me for years as of today that shadow has lifted some what.. This is a germ who was braught up bye the christin brothers so all possiblitys he was abused as a child and through some sick digusting, ideal's It made him feel better about him self.


I look at things this way he's one reason why my esteam confadance, self worth but out of it i feel that the anger for him can go one way towards me being more acertive as a person and genrally doing things that he never said i could do which I beleave I can and I will...


whatr I find mind bogaling is how this person has had such an effect on me.... Mind you there are other problems but i think at this stage this is one of the problems sorted..... well nearly...

as for sueing him that would be an easy way out of it and not really do anything much other then fill my pocket's with money id prefer to earn my money.....