Jokes

RSF Cill Dara

Anyone have any funny jokes ?

Sorry If This Thread already exists

RSF Cill Dara

Did you hear bout the boy with no legs ???

He got Fcuked out of the pictures for standing up on the seats...

its only a joke befour anyone starts

RSF Cill Dara

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish shop?

Hello ladies

Keggers

I've got a really nasty madelin macane one that my brother told me if anyone want to hear it

Ghost Train

RSF Cill Dara wrote: »

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish shop?

Hello ladies

lol

seriously though theres a humour forum, ill even paste a link in case you're a lazy person http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=22

RSF Cill Dara

Keggers wrote: »

I've got a really nasty madelin macane one that my brother told me if anyone want to hear it

lol yeah lets hear it

RSF Cill Dara

eolhc wrote: »

lol

seriously though theres a humour forum, ill even paste a link in case you're a lazy person http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=22

thanks pal

KatCookie

I've got a really nasty madelin macane one that my brother told me if anyone want to hear it

is that the one with the priest? if so dont say it!
And im not repeating it either..

RSF Cill Dara

alright well if its that bad one of yis just mail me it

RSF Cill Dara

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8XV2HIiG6Y

RSF Cill Dara

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOZlJiOvXsU&feature=related

randylonghorn

Keggers wrote: »

I've got a really nasty madelin macane one that my brother told me if anyone want to hear it

NOT in tCN!!

You can PM it if you like ... >_>

KatCookie

RSF Cill Dara wrote: »

alright well if its that bad one of yis just mail me it

nah, i've only repeated it once and that was infront of someone who told a worse joke..

Matt Holck

So a wizard, a king and a priest attend a public hanging of a goblin
for the kid napping and multilation of a medicne woman's daughter.
The goblin having chewed on his gag for sometime
suddenly spits the pieces to the ground
and accuses the wizards of murdering the fairy baron.
The wizards claim that it is illogical as the barron was their friend.
The king proclaims he does not want this tragedy to lead to war.
And the priest exclaims that the barons death was Manifest Destiny.

taidghbaby

the irish governments' attempts at dealing with this darn recession!

buttersbrady

Why have NASA never sent a woman to the moon?

It dosent need cleaning yet!:

White_Feather

a husband and wife are in dublin zoo for the day and they walk into the monkey section. They come across the gorilla cage and stop to have a look. Next thing the gorilla starts going mad, jumping up and down and banging his chest. The wife says to the husband -
'' God, I wonder what has him so excited!!''
The husband says '' I dunno hunny, I think its you he likes. Lift up skirt there and give him a flash. Theres no one around!''
After a few minutes of the wife saying no, she eventually gives in and flashes the gorilla. He goes mad again. So the husband says '' I told ya he loves you. Lift up your top there and give him another flash ''. So she does it and again the gorilla goes mad.

Next thing, the husband opens the cage and throws the wife in and says '' Now try explaining to him that you have a ****ing headache!!!''

RSF Cill Dara

White_Feather wrote: »

a husband and wife are in dublin zoo for the day and they walk into the monkey section. They come across the gorilla cage and stop to have a look. Next thing the gorilla starts going mad, jumping up and down and banging his chest. The wife says to the husband -
'' God, I wonder what has him so excited!!''
The husband says '' I dunno hunny, I think its you he likes. Lift up skirt there and give him a flash. Theres no one around!''
After a few minutes of the wife saying no, she eventually gives in and flashes the gorilla. He goes mad again. So the husband says '' I told ya he loves you. Lift up your top there and give him another flash ''. So she does it and again the gorilla goes mad.

Next thing, the husband opens the cage and throws the wife in and says '' Now try explaining to him that you have a ****ing headache!!!''

lol a cracker

Jet Black

What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo:D





/Ill get my coat

KatCookie

Expect a lot of old ladies chasing after you, attempting to beat you with their handbags..

Jet Black

This one is slightly better

A Teacher asks her class a simple maths problem.
If there are 5 birds on a fence and one is shot how many is left.
Little jonny raises his hand and says none. Because they all fly away.
The teacher says no the answer is 4, but I like the way your thinking.

Little jonny says ive a question for you. There are 3 women eating icecream on a bench.
One is delicately licking the sides, the second is biting the top of the icecream, the third is gobbling the top and sucking the cone.
He asks which one is married.

The teacher blushes and replys the third who is gobbling the top and sucking the cone.

He replys no, its the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way your thinking.

Jet Black

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOVWRXnb3QU

RSF Cill Dara

three freestate army soldiers sensing a few quid decide to go about looking for compensation for "being deaf".
the first soldier went into the doctors office and stood to attention,the doctors says "close the door" which he does and the doctors replies "you closed the door,your not deaf at all"
the second soldier falls for the same trap and as the third soldier was waiting outside the second soldier says "when the doctor asks you to close the door,dont do it" the third soldier nods and walks into the office.
the doctor looks up sensing another fraud and says "close the door" to which the 3rd soldier replies "close the ****ing door yourself"

RSF Cill Dara

why did the man with no legs get thrown off the bus???


he was asreing around