Pre-op Transexuals

reddog

im hoping you can help me, i left my husband as i found out he was lying to me , he had been visiting brothels and prostitutes regularly. Yet wanted to get married and have a family.

I then find out he is visiting or interested in tgirls, he says he is not gay . I am so lost right now, i understand why he doesnt want it revealed but it has left me guttered.

can someone please explain how a man visits straight women brothels and is then interested in t girls . please help me

seahorse

First off, fair play to you for leaving him; you've obviously accepted that you'd be better off without a man who sneaks off to brothels behind your back, and I cant tell you how right you are. A man who can do that is half in/half out of his marriage in my opinion, and that's not the sort of husband a woman needs.

Obviously the whole transvestite aspect of the situation has knocked you for a loop, as it would any woman, but the truth of the matter is that you will not find your answers here; none of the people reading this can tell you what is/was going on in your husbands mind, and sadly he's about the last person who'll volunteer to tell you. Perhaps Reddog, he doesn’t even fully know himself? He probably doesn’t you know, as it sounds like there's some degree of denial going on there, and whether it's denial he's deliberately presenting to you, or internal denial he's battling with himself, I could not possibly say.

The bottom line is, whichever of the two it is, you've made the right decision in leaving. I hope you won’t let go of that because it may be just the realisation you need to get you through this horribly tough time.

towel401

must be some sort of weird fetish going on there. butyou left him so you should have nothing to worry about

girl2

He wants to have his cake and eat it, and thats just not fair.

Yes you have left him, and it is probably the best thing to be honest. Not only was he lying to you and sneaking off to these places, he was putting your health at risk of all sorts of stds and God knows what.

I think you are right to be away from him. You are only ever going to spend the rest of your life wondering where he is, if he's lying to you, and if he really wants to be with you.

Im sorry for your situation.

ChocolateSauce

If he is sexually attracted to transexuals, it is obviously a craving you cannot satisfy, which might explain him going to brothels. If he says he wants to be married to you, maybe he really does? The fact that he has been deeply dishonest with you does not mean he doesn't care for you. I think the only way you can get answers (good or bad) is if you talk with him at great length and have both of you tell each other how you feel.

Silverfish

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

If he is sexually attracted to transexuals, it is obviously a craving you cannot satisfy, which might explain him going to brothels. If he says he wants to be married to you, maybe he really does? The fact that he has been deeply dishonest with you does not mean he doesn't care for you. I think the only way you can get answers (good or bad) is if you talk with him at great length and have both of you tell each other how you feel.

I would disagree. I would feel the OP is entitled to be married to someone who feels SHE satisfies his cravings. Otherwise, she is not the one for him, and he is not the one for her.

ChocolateSauce

Silverfish wrote: »

I would disagree. I would feel the OP is entitled to be married to someone who feels SHE satisfies his cravings. Otherwise, she is not the one for him, and he is not the one for her.

I never said she wasn't. I never said they were right for each other and didn't advocate them getting back together. I merely said answers (if she didn't seek answers, why is she asking questions?) might be forthcoming if she talked to him.