Surviving a FOAF's party...

thebeertalking

I have to go to a party with a friend of mine on Saturday night, it's a friend of his, hence my FOAF (friend of a friend) title on the thread. I won't know ANYONE else there and I've been warned he has to mingle so I may be left to my own defenses as regards conversation with random people about. HELP!!
My friend has the same problem I have in these kinds of situations as I'm sure many other people do, so he's having a great laugh this time round!

So I'm looking for a little advice, besides getting blotto and weeing in the sausage basket. Although it's quite a clean option...

Help much appreciated!

Kintarō Hattori

Ehh just relax, be yourself and as you know no-one there ease up on the drink. Ask him who's going to be there, are they professionals, students etc so you can have some idea of what potential conversation might be about.

Pen1987

try laughing, smiling and being relaxed. Oh and friendly chatting.

Xavi6

Just get really, REALLY pissed. You'll become more relaxed and more talkative.

You can also do some pervin as well without caring as no one knows who you are.

hussey

Introduce yourself as a Count and put on a dodgy accent

AlmightyCushion

Just get drunk and wreck the place. You'll be the crazy friend, everyone loves the crazy friend especially when he's screaming at the top of his voice while throwing a microwave down the stairs.

Rabies

Say hi to someone.
Some people will be ok, others will be dicks. You'll find some people you'll get on with.

lostexpectation

arn't you supposed to go into the kitchen?

gandhi123

Xavi6 wrote: »

Just get really, REALLY pissed. You'll become more relaxed and more talkative.

+1

my thoughts exactly when i read the OP

Plus you get the added bonus of never having to go thru it again ..assuming you make a show of your friend

Captain Ginger

I'm in the same position tomorrow, I find dealing drugs is a good ice breaker.

thebeertalking

hussey wrote: »

Introduce yourself as a Count and put on a dodgy accent

Phew thought you said something else there when I read that first...
I used to count my plops in the jacks in the style of the Count from Sesame Street a while back, that was more a conversation stopper though. "One...two...three pieces of s**t in the bowl" (in a very dodgy transilvanian accent)

lostexpectation wrote: »

arn't you supposed to go into the kitchen?

The kitchen? Seems like a reasonable idea but I'm not sure why....

I could always walk in and shout, "someone order a stripper?" ?

thebeertalking

Captain Ginger wrote: »

I'm in the same position tomorrow, I find dealing drugs is a good ice breaker.

Isn't that just likely to lead to more parties? Don't mean to nay say your idea, it does have its merits. I tend to keep that activity to the local day centre.

pablomakaveli

if it is really bad just whip your nob out and shout "lets get this party started" as loud as you can.

Lazer Smart

What a great position to be in. There's something exciting about going to party and not knowing anyone there. You can do and say whatever you want (within reason).

If I was you and i was single i'd make this a big night for meeting some new women. Wear some nice clothes, get some dutch courage into you before you go, go in uber confident and get talking to everyone you're introduced to.

Just remember if you're talking to a group with guys and girls pay more attention to getting on with the guys first - you'll have to win them over before you try it on with their female friends.

Best of luck!

Zillah

Yeah get drunk. You'll be so much more relaxed.

Havermeyer

If everyone there are mainly students, just ask somebody have they got a used bus ticket as you require one to make a roach for a really big spliff you're about to roll. People will crowd around you and you will have made loads of new friends.

If everyone there are mainly professionals, just ask somebody if they know where the bathroom is because you require a cistern to snort a shít load of coke off. People will crowd around you and you will have made loads of new friends.

civis_liberalis

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

while throwing a microwave down the stairs.

Why do you keep your microwave upstairs?

indough

whatever you do, dont start playing a guitar

iPlop

Just open your luchbox and waft it towards a few people and tell them to smell it and say: "Ohhh thats fcukin' delicious":eek:

captainzapp

Hurl abuse at everyone you meet.
Try to drink lots of alcohol that's not yours.
Be really rude and obnoxious.

People love being treated like sh*t, they'll be your best mates by the end of the night.

Degsy

See my sig for details of what to do!

fakearms123

start the night of with a bit of penis puppetry, whip out the goat on the FOAF, follow this up with expressing your love for incest to everyone, during this time keep a hipflask of absinthe on you taking mouthfuls of it every few minutes, this will gain you credibilty straight away, when you become paralytic pull down your pants and take a huge dump into a wine glass and proceed during the night to convince people into a bit of wine tasting, when they accept whip out your wine glass and ask them what year they think it is.
Finish your night of excellence off with cupping all the lads balls at the party, it will be a further sign of respect, what will follow will be a huge applause as you leave the house with glitter and confetti

togster

fakearms123 wrote: »

start the night of with a bit of penis puppetry, whip out the goat on the FOAF, follow this up with expressing your love for incest to everyone, during this time keep a hipflask of absinthe on you taking mouthfuls of it every few minutes, this will gain you credibilty straight away, when you become paralytic pull down your pants and take a huge dump into a wine glass and proceed during the night to convince people into a bit of wine tasting, when they accept whip out your wine glass and ask them what year they think it is.
Finish your night of excellence off with cupping all the lads balls at the party, it will be a further sign of respect, what will follow will be a huge applause as you leave the house with glitter and confetti

Is this how you scored your girlfriend?

fakearms123

togster wrote: »

Is this how you scored your girlfriend?

haha actually its a funny story, i was drunk when i was introduced to her and the first sentence i said to her was and i quote,
"you have a lovely pair of t*ts" and dont ask me how it worked, it might of broke the potential small talk but we dived into a really good chat after that, funny eh!

togster

fakearms123 wrote: »

haha actually its a funny story, i was drunk when i was introduced to her and the first sentence i said to her was and i quote,
"you have a lovely pair of t*ts" and dont ask me how it worked, it might of broke the potential small talk but we dived into a really good chat after that, funny eh!

smooth :pac:

fakearms123

togster wrote: »

smooth :pac:

smooth as sandpaper my friend!

fifth

Get drunk pretty quickly imo.

missingtime

Amphetamines FTW

Quazzie

I find anal rape is always a crowd pleaser!

upmeath

hussey wrote: »

Introduce yourself as a Count and put on a dodgy accent

Winner! :pac:

Degsy

Fart into a milk bottle and set light to it.
Always breaks the ice at parties.

ShooterSF

Have staring contests with strangers without actually telling them. When they blink/ look away cause you freaking them out jump up and down in the air celebrating. Follow that with some aeroplane runs (putting your hands out and making plane noises) around the room until you run into someone "snap" a wing and go into a tailspin. At this point get in the persons face and sing I am the champions as out of tune as possible. Then sit back down and find a new opponent.

Rinse and repeat!

dsmythy

Why is he bringing you over if he's just going to be yapping to others? What's the point if you're that hung up about it? Could you bring someone else with you who you know?

Talking about booze while drinking booze is usually a winner.

Conbro

Are you really that socially inept that you cant figure this little problem out for yourself?