Adjusting To Playschool

raven136

My just turned 3 year old has just started playschool and is finding the transition hard.
He is an independent feisty fella at home but in playschool reverts to his youger self,wont let the teacher help him wipe his nose or go to the toilet.

He goes by himself at home with help needed pulling up underpants etc but will have none of it in playschool,wont even go to the toilet without being encouraged and even then its a struggle.
He is fairly sensitive at the best of times so i didnt expect him to jump right into the middle of the other kids but at times he has got upset during the group activity(my wife has twice had to go into the playschool to try settle him.

Some family members have encouraged us to "toughen him up" a bit but we are both fine with the way he is and its not like he isnt a happy child,in fact he tells me that playschool is "purrfect"(his spelling) but we worry that he isnt enjoying himself or the transition is too hard.

The playschool teacher has called us in twice this week about him saying that he was disrupting the others kids by being upset and tomorrow he is leaving earlier than the others so as to leave on a happy note(her idea not ours).

My wife in particular is upset by this as she doesnt want him to been treated differently.We know he is no saint and has his moments but he is only a sensitve and shy toddler.

Im wondering does anyone have any similar experiences and/or advice.
Much thanks in advance.

deisemum

Ah the poor thing, he's in a new environment and is probably so overwhelmed. He will settle in time.

Don't be worrying about him being treated differently if he goes home a bit earlier than the rest.

I think a shorter day for a week or two is a good idea. Once children start playschool and then school they are tired at the end of the morning and will often revert to having a nap in the afternoon. All the activities tire them out.

Spootie

It must be so upsetting for you and your wife to see your son go through this. I'm afraid I haven't really got any advice and am in a quandry even thinking about what I would do. My daughter has just started preschool, she's 3 1/2 and quite outgoing and confident. So far it's going ok and she's still reasonably enthusiastic about going. But it did strike me today what a complete upheaval it must be for them.
E.g. She just mentioned in passing that some kids wouldn't let her play doctors with them and that she had cried. It was no big deal after the fact. But I find that kind of thing heartwrenching. Finding your place in society as a 3 year old can't be easy, learning to conform, facing rejection, developing communication skills etc. Kids can be hard on each other. I don't really go in for the idea of "toughening up" but it probably has to happen to some degree and I suppose they just become a bit smarter socially or whatever.
How are your sons communication skills? Shyness aside is he able to make himself understood with both teacher and kids? I'm just asking because if he's finding it hard it could be frustrating for him, particularly if he's amongst the youngest there.
I think though if I were in your situation (and that could still happen!) I'd try and ride it out for a bit longer. Most kids settle down into the routine when they find their feet. Hopefully before long you'll be dragging him out of there at home time! Best of luck.