I'm regretting breaking up with my sexy pen pal

ralphmalph

Hi, just looking for a bit of advice on how to approach this really.

Bit of background, i've been in a relationship for around ten years, and married for three.
I met an english girl while on a lads ski holiday in france earlier in the year.
She blew my mind, I felt a real spiritual and emotional connection and sexually she did things to me that I never even knew existed before.

We've stayed in contact for the past few months with many texts and emails.
I've sent her a number of pictures and videos which I feel ashamed about yet find strangely thrilling to send, but a few days ago my wife confronted me with a picture of me in it, apparently she saw it on some website and my tattoo is quite unique and she recognized it!!

What do I do?
I love my pen pal, but just can't believe that she's put pictures of me up on some site.
So I told her the relationship was over, but have now come to regret it deeply, but she won't return my calls or texts

00_katie_00

"If you play with fire, expect to be burnt" that saying springs to mind,

As a woman i can tell you that we have intuition when our men are cheating or fooling around on us & your partner oblivously felt this way. Now your more concerned about yourself cause you cant fool around anymore?

So for goodness sake you need to cop on & appreciate that you have your partner or set your partner free if your not in love anymore.

MagicMarker

So, you met someone away, sent her stupid pictures of yourself, she put them up on the internet and somehow your wife came across the pictures? Billions of pictures on the internet and she comes across yours?

Awfully convenient that...

Eve_Dublin

WOW. Unbelievable. You`re looking for sympathy? I sometimes wonder how women or men don`t pick up on the fact that their husbands or wives are selfish so and so`s when they first meet. Do people just marry people like you out of desperation? Can you not see that you are completely guilty and that your lack of remorse shows how utterly selfish you are. Cop on to yourself, man. You`ve hurt your wife for a woman you had a supposed "spiritual" (barf) connection with for a couple of days. I would be devastated if i was your wife but you don´t seem to care. Look at your situation from a different perspective and then get back to us.

Eve_Dublin

Ah okay, i`m a bit slow. This guy is full of it, yeah? I had to ask because some incredible coincidences have happened in my life.

Beetlebum

MagicMarker wrote: »

So, you met someone away, sent her stupid pictures of yourself, she put them up on the internet and somehow your wife came across the pictures? Billions of pictures on the internet and she comes across yours?

Awfully convenient that...

Funny.

brianthebard

Sounds like you don't deserve either woman tbh.

miss_shadow

well if you were my husband i'd put you in a big black box and mail you off to mexico. 2nd class so hopefully you run out of air on the way.:rolleyes:

LolaLuv

Wow, I'm afraid if I respond to this the way I want that I'll get banned, so suffice it to say that you're childish and your priorities are waaaaaaay out of whack. FWIW.

dudara

You had sex with someone other than wife, and now you've been bitted on the ass.

How do you think your wife feels about all this? Have you any concept of how hurt she probably is?

Plus, you didn't "break up" with this other woman. The only woman in your life with whom you can possibly break up is your wife.

Karen_*

I'd love to have your problems OP. "I miss my penpal" And I'd love to be dumb enough to think I was the one wronged. Life would be so simple.

Do your wife a favour. Leave her and let her meet someone nice.

mumhaabu

It sounds like you are your wife are not compatible to begin with and you would be better of moving out and spending time away. There is plenty women out there. It was wrong to cheat on your wife but meh what you gonna do us men will be men are there are certain things we need and don't need.

ralphmalph wrote:

She blew my mind, I felt a real spiritual and emotional connection and sexually she did things to me that I never even knew existed before.

This is commonplace in my experiences with foreign women, I am of the opinion your relationship with both your wife and penpal are over. Your wife obviously doesn't trust you and is snooping your net activities. Your best bet is to deny everything and secretly contact your solicitor and try and find a loophole to end the marriage in a way that won't financially break you. Start transferring assets from your name soon also to someone for holding until things blow over.

It may sound harsh but when you have sleep with another woman for enjoyment in a marriage it says enough about the marriage to end it. You must be compatible in everything and sex is numero uno for 99% of guys anyway.

hussey

ralphmalph wrote: »

She blew my mind, I felt a real spiritual and emotional connection and sexually she did things to me that I never even knew existed before.

We've stayed in contact for the past few months with many texts and emails.
I've sent her a number of pictures and videos which I feel ashamed about yet find strangely thrilling to send, but a few days ago my wife confronted me with a picture of me in it, apparently she saw it on some website and my tattoo is quite unique and she recognized it!!

What do I do?

Hold on you did the dirt on your wife on holidays

you sent your email-lover a video and your wife seen it on the internet?
that doesn't make sense ...

mumhaabu wrote:

This is commonplace in my experiences with foreign women ... Your wife obviously doesn't trust you and is snooping your net activities. Your best bet is to deny everything and secretly contact your solicitor and try and find a loophole to end the marriage in a way that won't financially break you. Start transferring assets from your name soon also to someone for holding until things blow over.

She is english ... not exactly a foreign culture
deny everything?? FFS he did the dirt on his *wife and she seen a video of it
contact your solicitor and try and find a loophole to end the marriage .... what the Fudge? loophole? :rolleyes:
Start transferring assets from your name soon also to someone for holding until things blow over. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

jesus_thats_gre

00_katie_00 wrote: »

As a woman i can tell you that we have intuition when our men are cheating or fooling around on us & your partner oblivously felt this way. .

No offence but this is complete ****.

You form opinions based on information you acquire. You may accidently stumble on to something by accident but more often than not, this intuition is so far off the mark it isn't funny.

00_katie_00

jesus_thats_gre wrote: »

No offence but this is complete ****.

You form opinions based on information you acquire. You may accidently stumble on to something by accident but more often than not, this intuition is so far off the mark it isn't funny.

the true meaning of intuition is

"A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression."

therefore I believe it is possible his wife felt something was not right (her intuition) when he came home after sleeping with another woman & went looking for evidence which she found.

And talk about my opinion like that again & i will be offended buddy:rolleyes:

citeal

your poor wife. you're a piece of work.

Burial

ralphmalph wrote: »

Hi, just looking for a bit of advice on how to approach this really.

Here is my advice to you, leave you wife because your not worthy for her, and accept that your "pen pal" doesn't want to be with you, otherwise she wouldn't have posted that stuff online. Now, I think you should go get help to re-organise your life and/or your priorities.

beth-lou

I hope your wife has the strength and good sense to leave you.

Bog Man

Question for the women here. If you suspected your husband of cheating would you (a)Look at credit card statements (b)Check his phone (c)Hire a private eye, or (d) Check some porn sites to see if he is there.
I think (d) is an unlikely option.

There is something odd about this whole scenario or maybe I'm dim.

In any event, people cheat & it's never pretty. There is also a price to be paid as the OP will learn

lolly22

If your feeling bad at all and feel like doing something right, leave your wife, she deserves to meet a decent guy.

gandalf

You cheated on your wife and you are not sorry about it. I think you should do her a favour and leave her. Its one thing to cheat, regret it and seek forgiveness but quite another to cheat and regret telling the other women that you wanted to end it without any consideration for your wife.

LolaDub

The OP said the wife found it on some website, he didn't explain what sort of website, it could have just been a social networking site, we don't know.

To the OP your affair is dead and gone. People don't post private pictures of others on the net without their permission if its not for revenge or to have a laugh. You need to think about your wife and if you want to be with her and still love her. You should talk to your wife and hear how she is feeling. I'd say she's feeling pretty bad. If you stay with your wife you should do everything under the sun to show her you love her and reassure her that this will never happen again. Your post has a 'i'm such a victim' tone about it. Make no mistake, you are not a victim, your wife is the victim and she deserves better from you.

marti101

If you are with someone lon enough you get to know if something is up.Thye change their behaviour towards you ie they are extra nice or extra evil cause they feel guilty and want to put all the blame on you.Just accept you were caught out and either grovell to your wife or leave and let her find a man somebody who understands their vows and means them.

Wagon

Feck the "no personal abuse" rule im going on holiday for a week! You're an eejit. Plain and simple. What did you think would happen? A threesome?

Your wife deserves better and you've been with her 10 years. Sort your head out, why the hell not try and have those mad sexual adventures with your wife?

MJOR

Change the thread title to i'm regretting breaking up with my poke-pal.

In all fairness what type of person are you? It beggars belief that you would endanger your relationship and your wifes sexual health.