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Dilemma - Is this relationship worth saving?

LegacyUser · 2008-09-03 11:37:26

A few weeks ago I posted this thread describing how I ended up getting close with a long time friend. Based upon people's advice I did indeed go for it and we had a great month together. Alas it all fell apart when she all of a sudden became impossible to get in touch with, not just for me, but for everyone who tried to…

03-09-2008 11:37am

#1

LegacyUser

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A few weeks ago I posted this thread describing how I ended up getting close with a long time friend. Based upon people's advice I did indeed go for it and we had a great month together.

Alas it all fell apart when she all of a sudden became impossible to get in touch with, not just for me, but for everyone who tried to ring her and I was incredibly worried and angry about it.

Eventually I called round to her place and found that she was okay and hanging out with an old male friend of hers. I have no idea if they're just mates or if something was going on.

Now she wants to meet to talk things through. I'm going to meet her but I've pretty much decided that if she doesn't care enough about me to keep in touch, then she can sling her hook but I wonder, am I mad to end what was a pretty amazing thing before even hearing her out? Is there a possible "positive" explanation to all of this?

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#2 03-09-2008 11:57am

Marksie

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Just wait and see what she has to say. Then decide.
By all means put your viewpoint forward, how you felt etc.

Look to her answers for your answer.

I really don't think second guessing is going to do any good

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#3 03-09-2008 3:57pm

IRISH RAIL

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I would be with you op sounds like she has no respect for you, and is meeting you to tell you she is going off with the other guy. personally I wouldnt bother going.

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#4 03-09-2008 4:29pm

Wibbs

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I'm with Marksie on this one. Don't go off half cocked and go "Harrumph it's over!!". Meet her and see what's what. If she's a loop job or is "confused" about things then calmly inform her that you accept her decision and walk away. Don't explain yourself, she's the one who should be doing that. If there's a good reason(family issues etc) then listen and see where to go from there. I would not listen to any half hearted stuff from her though. An either/or answer is the way to go.

Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.

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#5 03-09-2008 7:55pm

Silverfish

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UnregDoubtful wrote: »

Alas it all fell apart when she all of a sudden became impossible to get in touch with, not just for me, but for everyone who tried to ring her and I was incredibly worried and angry about it.

Eventually I called round to her place and found that she was okay and hanging out with an old male friend of hers. I have no idea if they're just mates or if something was going on.

I need to ask, how long for exactly? Couple of hours? Days? Weeks?

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#6 03-09-2008 8:00pm

MagicMarker

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Silverfish wrote: »

I need to ask, how long for exactly? Couple of hours? Days? Weeks?

I'm curious about this also...

A day or two is one thing, a week or two with no contact is completely different. If it's the latter i would forget about her.

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#7 03-09-2008 8:12pm

LegacyUser

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4 days. She made a big fuss about us spending the weekend together then fecked off to get high and stopped answering her phone. I thought something bad had happened to her.

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#8 03-09-2008 8:22pm

Liam Byrne

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Was wondering where my last - ahem - "encounter" got to......sounds like you met her, OP!!

Timescale from the other thread looks about right and all!!!

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#9 03-09-2008 11:15pm

tinkletoes

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I would not be bothered with her, she sounds like a head wrecker. I personally would not have time for those sort of people. Move on:D

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#10 03-09-2008 11:24pm

littlefriend

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Yeah don't bother with her. Its just basic manners to let you know that she had decided not to spend the weekend with you. Spending the weekend out of her head is a second issue which is something you probably don't really want or shouldn't really get involved in.
I think if she behaved this way once then tells a lot about her character type and she will almost definitely treat you this way in the future. Don't waste your time

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#11 04-09-2008 12:14am

LegacyUser

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Well, alas the guy I saw her with turns out to be my replacement. I feel like such a mug but I think it's my ego more than my emotions that are bruised. Well... mostly... I'm still gutted.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I she let me down. I didn't do anything wrong and I don't regret it and even though it has ended our friendship, I did so without any collateral damage.

Thanks to all for your advice.

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#12 04-09-2008 8:11am

Marksie

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UnregDoubtful wrote: »

Well, alas the guy I saw her with turns out to be my replacement. I feel like such a mug but I think it's my ego more than my emotions that are bruised. Well... mostly... I'm still gutted.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I she let me down. I didn't do anything wrong and I don't regret it and even though it has ended our friendship, I did so without any collateral damage.

Thanks to all for your advice.

Well OP now you know for definite. That always does help in moving on.

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