Pushed over the edge.....

HouseHippo

I've had a good few problems in the past year and coming up to the anniversary of my mum's death i was a bit depressed, also very nervous about exams and school in general.

I thought i would be ok till tonight....I was in work, and a friend of mine was back from Sweden for the weekend for some work(hadn't seen him in a while) Asked if he was staying for drinks at the end of the night, he told me yes, wait for me in the bar.

So I waited and waited, went down to smoking area, everyone was gone, my boss wanted to leave so he let me out. I walked down the back way to get a taxi as a big gang of lads were coming towards me and i was alone. As I approached the corner I heard my friends voice, then I heard everyone elses including my boss taking the piss out of me something fierce. My mate friend was calling me a stalker, cause I asked him to stay for drinks among other things. I spent the rest of the night walking home,crying.

Now I'm really upset, I thought life was turning around, I got ditched alot like that when I was younger I thought that was over now.

In am having suicidal thoughts and have started self harming again which took me a long while to get over????


I quit my job.....

LegacyUser

Sounds like a really nasty night and your work colleagues sound like a right bunch of arseholes.

Take some time, get some perspective and talk to someone in your family as soon as possible. If needs be give the samaritans a call but talk to someone you trust.

You've had a rough night and your mind is racing. You can get over it and bounce back.

cHaTbOx

HouseHippo wrote: »

I've had a good few problems in the past year and coming up to the anniversary of my mum's death i was a bit depressed, also very nervous about exams and school in general.

I thought i would be ok till tonight....I was in work, and a friend of mine was back from Sweden for the weekend for some work(hadn't seen him in a while) Asked if he was staying for drinks at the end of the night, he told me yes, wait for me in the bar.

So I waited and waited, went down to smoking area, everyone was gone, my boss wanted to leave so he let me out. I walked down the back way to get a taxi as a big gang of lads were coming towards me and i was alone. As I approached the corner I heard my friends voice, then I heard everyone elses including my boss taking the piss out of me something fierce. My mate friend was calling me a stalker, cause I asked him to stay for drinks among other things. I spent the rest of the night walking home,crying.

Now I'm really upset, I thought life was turning around, I got ditched alot like that when I was younger I thought that was over now.

In am having suicidal thoughts and have started self harming again which took me a long while to get over????


I quit my job.....

Please,please, I am begging do not even think like that because of these bullies.
You can report them for that, which I suggest you do ,to avoid it happening to someone in the future.
Now you have made the first step .You have quit your job.Now you have the world at your feet and can go do anything you ever wanted .
You are better than them.Don't let them win .
It is coming up to your mum's anniversary,do you think she would want you in this frame of mind?
Please just find somone you really trust and talk to them.NOTHING I mean nothing is worth taking your life for.

Overheal

Okay the first thing you need to do is put the razor down. I've seen that razor before - it almost tricked me once or twice - but you need to put it down, and put it away. Dont leave that out. Dont leave it somewhere easy to get to.

It's good that you quit your job in this case: because you know that you do not need to put up with that crap.

As for your former buddy there, fuck him. Theres no place for talking behind someone's back the way he did if he is indeed a friend of yours.

You can't ever let someone else kill you without lifting a finger: suicide over a transgression? Is it really that simple Hip? What else is going through your head here? I know you're having a hard time but believe me everything you get through just makes you that much stronger.

Stop looking at this situation as "it happened again and its my fault" - break it down. Treat it like a hit. A punch. So you took a lot of hits when you were younger. Do you not feel then like you're a little better now than you were at taking a punch? This is what I'm getting at. It's just a hit. Shake it off. You have gotten better about falling into these situations I am sure, but you invite disaster by not anticipating getting hit every now and again. It happens to everyone, everywhere.

I'm sorry to hear about you hurting yourself. I hope you feel any better tomorrow.

LegacyUser

The Work was created by this wonderful women, who realised that it was not reality that created her suffering but her thoughts about it. The Work is a simple methodology including just four questions and a turnaround. Everything is available on her website, I recommend watching the videos too, and then start applying it to your life story, to find where exactly your suffering originates from. Can find it here: http://www.thework.com

Take care

Setun

Is your entire locality populated by senseless assholes or something? You seem to be having a very rough time with bullies and incredibly insensitive people. I think sometimes people like this sense if a person is quite fragile, and instead of helping them like decent people they make them an object of amusement. I think the best way to stop this, although its not easy, is to show them that you're not one of those people to be bullied. But to do that you have to be strong, and it's hard to be strong when people keep knocking you back.

Have you started your art course yet btw? Hopefully you can get away from these people you've been having trouble with and make some new friends.

/and stay away from the Stone Roses, go buy some Talking Heads albums

HouseHippo

Overheal wrote: »

Okay the first thing you need to do is put the razor down. I've seen that razor before - it almost tricked me once or twice - but you need to put it down, and put it away. Dont leave that out. Dont leave it somewhere easy to get to.

It's good that you quit your job in this case: because you know that you do not need to put up with that crap.

As for your former buddy there, fuck him. Theres no place for talking behind someone's back the way he did if he is indeed a friend of yours.

You can't ever let someone else kill you without lifting a finger: suicide over a transgression? Is it really that simple Hip? What else is going through your head here? I know you're having a hard time but believe me everything you get through just makes you that much stronger.

Stop looking at this situation as "it happened again and its my fault" - break it down. Treat it like a hit. A punch. So you took a lot of hits when you were younger. Do you not feel then like you're a little better now than you were at taking a punch? This is what I'm getting at. It's just a hit. Shake it off. You have gotten better about falling into these situations I am sure, but you invite disaster by not anticipating getting hit every now and again. It happens to everyone, everywhere.

I'm sorry to hear about you hurting yourself. I hope you feel any better tomorrow.

It's kind of hard not to think of it as my fault, I try so hard but It keeps slipping back into my mind, I was finally starting to be happy, i thought It was possible for me to have friends and maybe everyone was right it was just the immaturity of the people in school, but alas these people are 20-30, the friend in question is actually 33 and married. I thought they were my friends spent my birthday down there with them etc.....


The main reason why I hurt myself is down to anger. I would normally confront them tc but my bf works with them too and I don't want to amke things uncomfortable, I was dreading telling him, but he thinks they are all arseholes and is luckily being pretty supportive. The worst thing is, they all knew it was my mums anniversary

HouseHippo

Daddio wrote: »

Is your entire locality populated by senseless assholes or something? You seem to be having a very rough time with bullies and incredibly insensitive people. I think sometimes people like this sense if a person is quite fragile, and instead of helping them like decent people they make them an object of amusement. I think the best way to stop this, although its not easy, is to show them that you're not one of those people to be bullied. But to do that you have to be strong, and it's hard to be strong when people keep knocking you back.

Have you started your art course yet btw? Hopefully you can get away from these people you've been having trouble with and make some new friends.

/and stay away from the Stone Roses, go buy some Talking Heads albums

Tbh I'm starting to think the whole world is populated by arseholes.I don't understand why people treat me like this, i'm nothing but nice to everyone, I never wronged any of them......

Starting the course on the 15th bit nervous mind, sort of thinking to myself whats the pointn in trying to make new friends they always just become enemies in the end


I love talking heads :P

Karen_*

Shame on those people for treating a young girl like that. And what great men they are doing it behind your back.

What other people think of you isn't your business HouseHippo. And you certainly shouldn't let it shape how you think of yourself. You're a good person and very intelligent and that comes across in your posts. How other people behave is not your fault. Its theirs!

And you are certainly intelligent and have been through enough to know that cutting yourself or harming yourself is not going to make anything in your life better. Combat the bullies, whoever they may be by letting their words and actions make you stronger. Do something nice for yourself. Put them out of your mind. Get busy finding a new job. But certainly don't let them beat you.

And I know thats easier said than done but I know you're capable of it. You're very young but you've been through more than most people twice your age could cope with. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself.

HouseHippo

Karen_* wrote: »

Shame on those people for treating a young girl like that. And what great men they are doing it behind your back.

What other people think of you isn't your business HouseHippo. And you certainly shouldn't let it shape how you think of yourself. You're a good person and very intelligent and that comes across in your posts. How other people behave is not your fault. Its theirs!

And you are certainly intelligent and have been through enough to know that cutting yourself or harming yourself is not going to make anything in your life better. Combat the bullies, whoever they may be by letting their words and actions make you stronger. Do something nice for yourself. Put them out of your mind. Get busy finding a new job. But certainly don't let them beat you.

And I know thats easier said than done but I know you're capable of it. You're very young but you've been through more than most people twice your age could cope with. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself.

Yeah think I might go out with my bf to cheer myself up...

It was my first job(great exp of the working world what) and I think i'll leave working for now , concentrate on my studies.

Karen_*

No more hurting yourself missus?

Instead do a few hours maths studies. Thats painful enough:p

Haven't you got your leaving this year? If so then just put your back into that this year and enjoy your free time. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

HouseHippo

Karen_* wrote: »

No more hurting yourself missus?

Instead do a few hours maths studies. Thats painful enough:p

Haven't you got your leaving this year? If so then just put your back into that this year and enjoy your free time. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

Uggghh maths, good point.

I do indeed, ill try not to sometimes I think I do it on purpose

Trinity

Ah poor girl. What a shower of cnuts. Honestly they are not worth thinking about. I know thats easier said than done. People dont know what affect they have on other people.

People always know how to kick us when we are down eh. But you know what? It only takes one to start the slagging and then the big men they are join in to be part of the gang. Get one of them on their own and they are fcuking cowards.

I personally would text/email the ahem 'mate' of yours (and without resorting to bad language or how could you blah blah) give him a piece of your mind. A little bit of a jab just to let him know that you heard him and think hes a piece of **** and to have a good life, hope he had a good laugh at your expense.

Most prob wont agree but thats just me i would be seething once the hurt wore off particularly if i quit my job over it.

leesmom

househippo,im really sorry to hear about this,you poor thing.
i feel like the world is full of arseholes alot of the time too, as you know i have alot of things similar in my life to you thats why i do understand.i really do.
i havent got any advice really unfortunately as im still trying to figure things out for myself .
life is tough thats for sure.like you i used to be really nice to everyone,lately i couldnt be arsed,the way i look at it is,evryone is out for themselves, so you gotta look out for number one mostly.
im nearly 21 and repeating my leaving cert this year,definately not looking foward to going back into a school enviroment but i dont really have much choice.
chin up hun,im sure you are a lovely girl.hope you feel better today

MizzLolly

HouseHippo,

I wrote to you in your last thread and the impression you gave me was that of a mature and intelligent lady. You have been unlucky in the trouble you've had to face. Sometimes life can be funny like that, it can seem like one blow after the other. Trust me when I say that almost everyone in here has felt this way before. I went through a tough time a few years back and like you, I thought that it was never going to get better. You're definately not alone in this feeling.

As for self harming, you need to stop this right now. If you take nothing else from this post, just promise that you will speak to someone about this. Feeling depressed and hopeless happens to all of us but it becomes dangerous when we begin to act on it, as you are doing now. Please, please ring the samaritans right now. Just do it, even for another perspective. See it as if you're talking to a group of boardsies. I promise you you'll feel very different once you've said it out loud.

The men in work are irrelevant to be perfectly honest with you. Screw them. They sound like twats. You have enough to deal with right now. Look at where the self harming is coming from.. A few lads showing themselves up like that is not the cause, is it? Think carefully about what triggered this recent episode. You've obviously been very, very strained with the school bullies on top of the fact that you're living everyday with the loss of your mam. Now that it's coming close to her anniversary, it's no shock that you're feeling burdened. You need to let this all out to try and make sense of it. Look at what holding it in is doing for you?

As soon as you've read this, pick up your phone and dial the samaritans number... when somebody answers, just talk.. let it all out. You'll never see this person again, they don't know who you are and they'll no doubt, be able to help you get your thoughts straight. It's not going to go away overnight but if you call somebody every single time you get the urge to self harm, I promise you, that horrible feeling will fade away. You'll see how harming yourself does nothing to change the things you've gone through.

If anything, you should be so proud of yourself to have come through so much, for standing up for your schoolfriend, for inviting your friend for welcome back drinks and for having the courage to stand up for yourself and leave your job.

I really wish I could make you feel better. You're worth far more than you seem to think you are. Please stop self harming and call somebody now.

Mikel

Trinity1 wrote: »

I personally would text/email the ahem 'mate' of yours (and without resorting to bad language or how could you blah blah) give him a piece of your mind. A little bit of a jab just to let him know that you heard him and think hes a piece of **** and to have a good life, hope he had a good laugh at your expense.

Text him tomorrow say 'thanks friend' and then have no more contact with him.
Some mate he is.
Some people are just d1cks, and they always pick on the ones who won't kick back.
Like someone else said, they're all brave when in a gang.
At least you know now what a d1ckhead he is, people like that are not worth your time.
I have a friend who was treated like that, they don't have any concept of the effect they have on someone else.
Don't let the bsatards get you down

Liam Byrne

Don't even bother texting him.

Anyone who treats people they're supposed to care about like **** isn't worth knowing.

In fact, here's a thought (pretty profound I know, but it is 3am).

• You're going through a rough patch - perfectly understandably - around the anniversary.
• You need to know who you can count on.
• Fate has helped to show you that someone you thought you could, you can't.

Then, you overheard some assholes taking a cheap shot. The result ?

• You had asked him to stay because you thought he was a friend you could rely on.
• You might have leaned on him later in the night.
• You now know that you can't.

So you could take all that happened as a positive occurrence; you now know he's not worth relying on.

It's up to you, but rather than feeling low because of it, you can also choose to look at the positive side.

• You were working with insensitive assholes, but you didn't know it.
• You found out, and you took control, made a decision, and you're now NOT working with assholes.

That took guts, particularly at a time that you'd need stability in your life with the anniversary.

So well done.

Overheal

HouseHippo wrote: »

Tbh I'm starting to think the whole world is populated by arseholes.I don't understand why people treat me like this, i'm nothing but nice to everyone, I never wronged any of them......

...but have you ever stood up to anyone? If you bend over like grass you're going to get walked on. Its true of anyone.

HouseHippo

Overheal wrote: »

...but have you ever stood up to anyone? If you bend over like grass you're going to get walked on. Its true of anyone.

I usually always do however my bf works with these people, some of them could have sacked him, I thought it was best not to stir **** where he works he at the end of the day has to spend 4 days a week with these people.

HouseHippo

I was going to send the guy an email saying......you owe me an apology but I decided just to leave it. he's in Sweden now so it's not like he can do me any harm

Trinity

HouseHippo wrote: »

I was going to send the guy an email saying......you owe me an apology but I decided just to leave it. he's in Sweden now so it's not like he can do me any harm

Good for you, I guess if he ever makes contact you can say your piece then if you want. In fact i guess it would be better than emailing him specifically for that.