son's dad

miss_shadow

I really do not know how I am feeling about this situation (if you can call it a situation).
My son goes to his dads one night a week, maybe two days.
We had the summer to ourselves as i had spent the year in college and didnt get to spend quality time with my son and was doing a lot of things and going to a lot of places including abroad so he didn't see his dad for a few weeks.
He has just taken him for the night and I'm feeling rather uneasy about it all, and I do not know why??!! I didn't want him to go and he didn't seem to want to go, he looked a bit sad. he is only two and can't speak in sentence's
maybe its my anxiety passing my son to someone other than me. his father knows something is up as I look miserable whenever i see him. things have gone rocky and we hardly communicate, I think we have different idea's on raising the small one. im really not sure.

Wurly

miss_shadow wrote: »

I really do not know how I am feeling about this situation (if you can call it a situation).
My son goes to his dads one night a week, maybe two days.
We had the summer to ourselves as i had spent the year in college and didnt get to spend quality time with my son and was doing a lot of things and going to a lot of places including abroad so he didn't see his dad for a few weeks.
He has just taken him for the night and I'm feeling rather uneasy about it all, and I do not know why??!! I didn't want him to go and he didn't seem to want to go, he looked a bit sad. he is only two and can't speak in sentence's
maybe its my anxiety passing my son to someone other than me. his father knows something is up as I look miserable whenever i see him. things have gone rocky and we hardly communicate, I think we have different idea's on raising the small one. im really not sure.

Hi OP,

This seems perfectly natural to me. Your little lad is still so young and you've spent a chunk of quality time with him this summer. Of course him being taken away again for even a day will make you miss him hugely.

Also the fact that you and the father are not getting on, would make you more uneasy. First cos of your feelings towards him, seperate to the issue with your son. And second cos you said your little boy looked sad.... That would break any mother's heart. But kids love routine and having not gone to his dad's in a while, he was probably just confused and that upset him.

You will get used to the routine of the little man going to his dad's after a small period of time. Just like you did before. It's just a matter of getting back into this routine.

Talk to his dad calmly and on neutral ground about how you will both raise your son. Compromise and listening to the other person is the key. This is bound to put your mind at rest, all going well.

In essence, you and the dad simply have to make your non platonic relationship work. For the sake of this little boy.

Best of luck.

MagicMarker

First off, this is a child, not a dog.

In future you and your ex need to sit down and work on a plan that will ensure your son has enough time with his dad on a REGULAR basis. This does not mean, 1 night a week for a few weeks and then 3 weeks off because you want to go on your holliers.

As for raising him, if you have different ideas then sit down and talk about it. But if he's only got the kid 1 night a week, then he's not raising him, he's babysitting.

Would the father prefer to have him more than one night?

K-9

miss_shadow wrote: »

We had the summer to ourselves as i had spent the year in college and didnt get to spend quality time with my son and was doing a lot of things and going to a lot of places including abroad so he didn't see his dad for a few weeks.
He has just taken him for the night and I'm feeling rather uneasy about it all, and I do not know why??!!

I understand the holidays part, but why is your quality time more important than a night or 2 with Dad?

You have look past your insecurities and slight selfishness and facilitate the relationship between parent and child.

Try and work with your relationship with the Dad. If you are arguing, keep conversations short and sweet until things calm down. Treat it like a business relationship, detached and formal.

Your child will thank you for this in the future!