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Hanging around an ex?

  • 28-08-2008 11:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Well the short scoop of this situation is I hang out with my Cousin and my brother and now they're friends with this girl we'll call V. Not, for vendetta, or anything.

    Anyway me and her were dating there last year, for only a month or two but we clicked really well I thought. The problem was it was a very long distance relationship, so there were good chances we'd only get to see each other maybe once or twice a year if we fought to make it happen: this wasn't really a case of meeting up at hers or mine it was trying to arrange the pair of us at a point C, long story short. We could still speak online as a group of friends any day.

    She started falling for me said she, and me too inexperienced had no real clue about love or anything so this was all new ground to me - and the distance factor was depressing. I panicked, broke it off and tried on a relationship with a local girl (that turned into an unmitigated disaster)

    6 months had passed and I found myself wondering what if. But I never had the nerve to ask her to take back someone that dumped her for local cuisine :(

    But I have this problem now, that she is seeing other people, so anytime I'm hanging out with my brother and cousin, and she's there, it will eventually end up in the conversation somehow. I found myself just walking out whenever this kind of talk went on. Or jumping out a proverbial window, to be more precise. Regret or jealousy? both?

    Anyway I want some opinions on how to proceed. I still want to be able to hang out but the situation as is just feels too awkward and im not helping things.


Comments

  • #2
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    youreatowel wrote: »
    Regret or jealousy? both?

    Anyway I want some opinions on how to proceed. I still want to be able to hang out but the situation as is just feels too awkward and im not helping things.

    Well only you can tell whether its regret or jealousy..or both ;).
    Now in reading this, i can understand, with the long distance thing and the inexperience, why you did this rather than string everyone involved along.

    But tell me: what comes up in the converstation when she is hanging around? what happened? or others she is seeing? its a bit unclear. (I also take it that she is on close proximity now)

    If the first is the case then take her to one side and explain why as you have done here.

    If the second is the case, then take her to one side and explain things as you have done here.

    If its something else, then take her to one side and explain things as you have done here.

    There is a common theme :)

    If you actually deal with what happened i suspect that the talk of others from her will stop (or of what happened)... she may be provoking a reaction to see whats happening.

    It is your issue ultimately and to allow you to move on you have to have this conversation, you dont know what effect it will have, but i believe it will be beneficial all around


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