Animal Attraction?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I was just wondering what the deal is with pheromones and if the theory that we are attracted to
particular people because of their scent is true.

There are a few people I know who I think are very good looking guys but I wouldn't be attracted to them,
then there are way less conventionally good looking guys who I'd be really sexually attracted to.

The reason I'm asking this is firstly because no matter what horrible things my ex boyfriend does to me
(he's not with me best friend) or has done to me (the list is too long to mention!), when I see him I'm still
hugely attracted to him. I wouldn't in a million years be with again but i still fancy him despite what he has
done. Is this down to pheromones?

On the other hand though, there are guys I'd be really attracted to but then they'd do something or say something
and I wouldn't be attracted to them at all anymore. Even something small like I'll notice that he's wearing snadles with
white socks and suddenly my libido leaves the building! This kinda throws the pheromones theory out the window!

Just looking for opinions on this and wondering how I can stop being attracted to my ex. I still fantasise about him naked
which is wrong considering he's screwing my friend and I have a boyfriend!!

Thanks

Wibbs

Attraction is a huge subject. I would say pheromones are part of it. Apparently women look for partners who have different immune systems to them and that comes out in smell. It also depends on where the woman is in her fertility cycle too. Around ovulation women look for high testosterone males, but when not as fertile or pregnant go for lower testosterone males. Things like the pill have even skewed that and women are more likely to leave a guy if she met him on the pill and then stopped taking it. Fascinating stuff but a further debate on it would be better suited to humanities or Ladies lounge etc.

Now your issue with your ex. Your body wants him for the reasons above and others. Your body may want his babies but you don't want him in your life otherwise. So you're horny around him. OK, but it's bad that this horniness is impinging on your current relationship.

I would ask why you don't find your current guy as attractive. Did you go out with him because he seemed nice you kinda fancied him and it was better than being single? I could be wrong but that's what I would suspect.

There are billions of men in the world and of those number you will meet men who you will be more attracted to than your ex and certainly more than your current. The odds alone guarantee it.

I would look at your current relationship, more than your feelings for the ex. Your feelings for the ex may be telling you more than what is obvious. Ask yourself why not why you are still horny for the ex, but more why you're not as horny for the current guy.

It could also be that you in some way are more comfortable with someone like your ex that treated you a certain way. In his case badly by your account.

There's more than pheromones at work I reckon.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

Attraction is a huge subject. I would say pheromones are part of it. Apparently women look for partners who have different immune systems to them and that comes out in smell. It also depends on where the woman is in her fertility cycle too. Around ovulation women look for high testosterone males, but when not as fertile or pregnant go for lower testosterone males. Things like the pill have even skewed that and women are more likely to leave a guy if she met him on the pill and then stopped taking it. Fascinating stuff but a further debate on it would be better suited to humanities or Ladies lounge etc.

Now your issue with your ex. Your body wants him for the reasons above and others. Your body may want his babies but you don't want him in your life otherwise. So you're horny around him. OK, but it's bad that this horniness is impinging on your current relationship.

I would ask why you don't find your current guy as attractive. Did you go out with him because he seemed nice you kinda fancied him and it was better than being single? I could be wrong but that's what I would suspect.

There are billions of men in the world and of those number you will meet men who you will be more attracted to than your ex and certainly more than your current. The odds alone guarantee it.

I would look at your current relationship, more than your feelings for the ex. Your feelings for the ex may be telling you more than what is obvious. Ask yourself why not why you are still horny for the ex, but more why you're not as horny for the current guy.

It could also be that you in some way are more comfortable with someone like your ex that treated you a certain way. In his case badly by your account.

There's more than pheromones at work I reckon.

Very interesting and you are spot on about my current boyfriend. He asked me out and I thought...he's kinda cute, so why not. He's one of the funniest and kindest people I know. We both love music, films and books and have great discussions about life, love etc but when it comes to bedtime, half the time I just don't fancy him. I really wish I did cause then he'd be the whole package.

I saw my ex recently and my tummy started flipping like mad. He is very sexy, in a band, I love how he dresses, always wears funky hats etc. He is a horrible person though, sleeping with my ex-best friend. It's the worst thing anybody has ever done to me and I hate him, I really do BUT I fancy the arse of him.

Luckily if he ever tried to come back to me I know I'd smack him round the head with his trilby and tell him to go F8ck himself!!

Just wish my stupid body didn't think he was good breeding material!! I'll have to have a quiet word with my womb:)