Am I intimidating?

LegacyUser

I can't understand it. Whenever I am on the bus or the Dart people tend to skip passed my open seat to another way at the back that also has a person beside them. I am usually the last one with an empty seat beside me. Women always turn away from me when I look at them and tend to be shocked when I talk to them. Whats going on? With guys its the same they avoid sitting next to on buses and stuff but I find most males very easy to get on with. I wouldn't hurt a fly, whats the dealio? I am a little muscular and 6'3 if that helps...

biko

How do you dress?
Do you tend to stare at people?

Ask your friends and ask them to be blunt.

JuliusCaesar

the way seats fill up:
first everyone takes an empty seat.
when there are no empty seats left, people have to share. They'll look for a seat in which is a person who only takes up half the seat - ie reasonably slim and not sitting with their legs spread apart. (Men tend to do this, thus taking more than their half of the seat).

Do you have a shaved head, tattoos? I'm presuming no problems with personal hygiene

Dunno otherwise.

zAbbo

Next time, pat the seat beside you, and give a cheeky wink

Jack Sheehan

In my experience most big people are usually very gentle and unassuming, however if it's 3 in the morning and you're catching a bus you're going to sit beside the drunk, asleep girl, not the 6 3 muscular dude. It's nothing personal but small people (such as myself) always feel a little intimidated by people much bigger than themselves.

LegacyUser

I don't stare, I usually glance as most people do. I usually wear a t-shirt and jeans with some kind of jacket. At the moment I have hair thats about an inch long. No personal hygiene issues. Its weird really, I am just trying to understand why.

unhappycamper

A simple smile can go a long way, even to people you don't know, works like a charm in my books

bennyblanco

Dont worry about it man,I get the same sometimes,I'm 6ft and not particularly big but I guess it must be something in my body language(?):p
I'd say it's probably more to do with the smurf scale seats on the Dart and your size like the other guy said

LolaLuv

intimidating? wrote: »

I am a little muscular and 6'3 if that helps...

intimidating? wrote: »

I usually wear a t-shirt and jeans with some kind of jacket. At the moment I have hair thats about an inch long. No personal hygiene issues.

Pics or GTFO. Haha, just kidding, don't ban me mods!

You're probably reading too much into it, tbh. Or maybe because you're tall you take up more space in the seat? I don't know.

af_thefragile

Do you dress up like a goth, metalhead, emo kid or something??

If not, then you're just paranoid. Its all just in your head.

Redpunto

Youre too tall man,,, people like to have bum space and that can be limited with someone whos over 6 foot, no youre not intimidating just too tall, hunching down a little might help:)

marco murphy

Buy an IPOD, look out the window, enjoy the music, and stop worrying.
Sometimes I long for a seat for myself to spread the legs

dresden8

What's your problem? At least you don't have some smelly baxtard sitting beside you.

sunnyside

Is is not a good thing that people don't come and sit next to you on the bus? I like my personal space, don't mind much on city bus services but on longer trips I like to have both seats to myself:)

Kablam

unhappycamper wrote: »

A simple smile can go a long way, even to people you don't know, works like a charm in my books

+1, Mr smileing unhappycamper:)

Works wonders with the ladies too....

pwd

on a crowded bus I would sit beside the person I thought would be least likely to engage with me: The more reserved they seem and the less attention they are paying to me, the more likely I would be to sit beside them. I think that is a fairly typical attitude.
I wouldn't be surprised if women are surprised when you talk to them if you talk to them on the dart. It's not a sociable environment.

Women will be more comfortable with you if you engage with them in the following order: eye contact, smile, talk, touch, kiss, sex. (only try to move to the next step if they do the previous step). If you skips steps then they are likely to be disconcerted.

hussey

intimidating? wrote: »

I am a little muscular and 6'3

seriously can you not join the dots?
big guys on seats take up more room ... surely an internet thread was not called to deduce this?

BKtje

Not just big guys. I'm 5ft 8 or 9 and have noticed the same thing. That said i love it as i love my personal space.

I don't dress to any extremes either incase people are wondering. I guess i just don't give off a friendly atmosphere

St Bill

Poblachtach wrote: »

Sometimes I long for a seat for myself to spread the legs

I really hope for your sake you're a man!

Burial

I agree with what people have been saying. The people who take up more room are the least likely to be sat beside by strangers...People go for the most space they can get...

kmick

Do you have a shaved head? When I had a shaved head grannies would cross the road to avoid me.

not yet

Just because your paroniod doesn't mean their not out to get you......

Listen pal if thats all you have to worry you!!!!

Miss Fluff

+1 to the people who said it's because you're big and tall.

Personally speaking I'd be thrilled if people didn't sit beside me. I usually wind up with loons and weirdos so now if I have to take a long bus or train journey, and there are other free seats on the chosen mode of transport, when someone sits down, after about five minutes I produce a plastic bag, smile at them feebly and say weakly that I suffer from travel sickness and that I may need to vomit imminently. Que visible butt clenching from person sitting beside you and 9 times out of 10 they in turn make a feeble excuse and change seats allowing me to stretch out like a lionness while chuckling to myself at people's gullibility. Good times.

LoanShark

What if you carried a Bunch of Flowers??:D

I often find the same thing can happen to me from time to time,But I've never really start to think about it.....Until Now...

pwd

haha yeah and you could give individual flowers from the bunch to random people while smiling at them

Dragan

intimidating? wrote: »

I can't understand it. Whenever I am on the bus or the Dart people tend to skip passed my open seat to another way at the back that also has a person beside them. I am usually the last one with an empty seat beside me. Women always turn away from me when I look at them and tend to be shocked when I talk to them. Whats going on? With guys its the same they avoid sitting next to on buses and stuff but I find most males very easy to get on with. I wouldn't hurt a fly, whats the dealio? I am a little muscular and 6'3 if that helps...

Same boat here mate. I really wouldn't worry about it, most of the time it's simply down to room. People who sit beside me tend to get some of their seat invaded by shoulders. Nothing we can do about it i fear, except enjoy the room.

pwd

ya I've been there myself. I remember a period when I definitely scared people for some reason. Couldn't get into nightclubs. Remember people jumping and pulling each other out of my way an overhearing a couple of remarks by strangers about me. A couple of people have told me it was because I looked like a serial killer thanks to a completely blank/cold expression. It's not a nice feeling, and I don't think anything to do with my behavior warranted such reactions.
These days people would respond to me very differently. I would guess that it is an effect of leading an austere kinda lifestyle that your expression seems colder.

edit: this kinda contradicts my first post on this come to think of it. Ah well not likely to get a full story from a few line of text anyway so it's all guesswork to some degree isn't it. Put up pics of yourself and people will be able to say right away if you're intimidating, normal or have something else offputting about you like neediness

amoeba_girl

Ah to be honest, I'd love that, any time I'm sitting by myself on a bus someone always sits beside me.

I recently got on a coach, for a 4 hour journey at the start of it there were 3 other passengers on the bus, and one of them sat beside me! With like how many empty seats on a coach!?

Anyway, count yourself lucky.

faceman

Yeah op, as others have said its probably down to your size.

If it makes you feel any better though, i suffered had the same problem when i was younger and i was only a slip of a lad! I could have sworn that people would rather stand than sit beside me!

For a humourous look at it, if you watch the movie "Private Parts", Howard Stern talks briefly about it. It might offer a lighter side to it for you.