Is he not into me or taking it slow

lady_fifi

OK I tried this in after hours...bad idea. Oh & I'm not engaged, friend of mine has been using this log in too

Just wondering some peoples opinions on this. Been meeting a guy for the past couple of weeks. We always meet up when out with our friends and have arranged to me meet up once or twice inbetween as well.

On Fri we ended up at a house party and slept in the same bed together, now I wouldn't have done the deed just yet, but I would've expected that he would at least try.

I know that there are some gentlemen about but I've never come across any so now I'm wondering does this guy actually like me or not.

Here are the explanations I've come up with so I'd be interested to know what you guys think.

1) He likes me and doesn't want to rush things/f*** it up
2) He just doesn't like me that much
3) He is secretly gay

RedXIV

Let me let you in on something that most women seem to overlook. Men are ridiculously simple creatures. We are, we know exactly what we want most of the time and it doesn't take much to keep us happy. BUT, and it's a big but, 90% of guys out there reckon that the only way to get a girl is through a series of "games" for want of a better word. Why? coz for as long as we can remember, women have been bloody playing them. No one should play games because all that can happen is you getting taken for a ride by an expert (see what i did there ) or you get the completely wrong message from an amateur.

Give up the analysis of his every move and ASK the man would he be interested in going out for a drink some night. He's going to say yes. i know he is because a guy wouldn't climb into bed beside someone he wasn't even slightly into.

Go, ask him now.

Red

lady_fifi

RedXIV wrote: »

Let me let you in on something that most women seem to overlook. Men are ridiculously simple creatures. We are, we know exactly what we want most of the time and it doesn't take much to keep us happy. BUT, and it's a big but, 90% of guys out there reckon that the only way to get a girl is through a series of "games" for want of a better word. Why? coz for as long as we can remember, women have been bloody playing them. No one should play games because all that can happen is you getting taken for a ride by an expert (see what i did there ) or you get the completely wrong message from an amateur.

Give up the analysis of his every move and ASK the man would he be interested in going out for a drink some night. He's going to say yes. i know he is because a guy wouldn't climb into bed beside someone he wasn't even slightly into.

Go, ask him now.

Red

Well we have been on dates & have another planned for tomorrow ... I just thought that he was gone off me or something when he didn't try anything, or that maybe he is just seeing me to pass the time til someone better comes along

RedXIV

lady_fifi wrote: »

Well we have been on dates & have another planned for tomorrow ... I just thought that he was gone off me or something when he didn't try anything, or that maybe he is just seeing me to pass the time til someone better comes along

what age are you? sounds like he doesn't know how to initiate anything. help him out. you don't have to go all the way to confirm a bit of interest

JMCD

REDXIV is the man.............Always spot on!!

You say you werent ready yet to do the deed so maybe he wasnt!!??

And even if he had of tried you would of turned him down because you werent ready...right?? Well imagine how awkward that would of been and maybe HE would of been the one on here asking "Is she into me"........

He is into you.........let him Know how you feel without been overly keen and see how things go

LegacyUser

Maybe he just wants to take it slowly....

We're not all raging hard-ons on two legs.

Maybe he thought he was too drunk to perform and would rather wait for a better moment.

Maybe you could have made the first move and come onto him.

LegacyUser

Cake and eat . don't want to do it just want him to want it - and then deny him

Sure he's into you . But he's probably not that thick . He probably is picking up YOUR mixed signals .

Be glad he has respect for you - and when you decide you want him - jump his bones hard

sinnerboy

lady_fifi wrote: »

1) He likes me and doesn't want to rush things/f*** it up

is most likely

and +1 the the other posters

Fat Pie Lot

The dating game is, IMHO, always much more complicated than it has to be. Always. They shouldn't be, though.

Any time I end up in the dating game, there are always things that complicate matters and get in the way. I read a thread recently where the guy seemed to have done little wrong, but the girl still managed to complicate matters because of baggage and it looks like her baggage stopped her from pursuing anything with the guy. That all seemed quite unnecessary to me and some even argued that he got burned for being a gentleman!

The obvious answer is to simplify things. I think the guy must be keen enough if you've already had a few dates, but there's no reason you can't dictate the pace. You seem to be happy with the pace so far in that you're not ready to take it to the next level quite yet but unhappy that he's not yet made that move, so chat to him. Perhaps you could "escalate" matters. I'm not going into specifics, but be a little more physical. If you only kiss at the end of dates, try a little more kissing, for example. Keep it within your own comfort levels, but show him that you're keen on moving forward.