Tin Opener not working - alternatives please...

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So, my tin opener stopped working.

What else can I use?

Turd Ferguson

YORE MA

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Turd Ferguson wrote: »

YORE MA

She doesn't need a tin opener to open herself, she does it quite easily all by herself.

No follks, any srs replies please, I'm starving here.

connundrum

Stab it numerous times with a short sharp knife.

Or tie a bag around one end of the can, jump on the other end, and reap the rewards from your efforts.

Turd Ferguson

I've never had a tin opener, but if you have a sharp knife you could cut the top of the tin off, just under the lid

AtomicHorror

Des wrote: »

So, my tin opener stopped working.

What else can I use?

Try fireworks. If this fails, consider using a larger quantity of fireworks.

JaneyMc

You're probably best off using your legs and walking down the shop to buy a new one.
I know, the scar on my hand proves it

Pighead

Cheese on toast.

orestes

A hammer.

There are few problem in this world that cannot be solved with a well placed hammer.

Dinter

Stick it in a pot full of water and keep it at the boil for about 10 minutes.

Guaranteed to open it*.





*With hilarious consequences.

funk-you

Sharp logs knife, saw it open from the side.

-Funk

4zn76tysfajdxp

Buy a new one

John Mason

WD40

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irishbird wrote: »

WD40

No, it's not that the tin opener is stuck, it won't grip the tin.

Can't get any traction.

Alicat

Be a man, use your teeth!

John Mason

Des wrote: »

No, it's not that the tin opener is stuck, it won't grip the tin.

Can't get any traction.

well if the WD40 doesnt work, try some masting tape

i dont know how or why but they are the only two things you need in life

or else - here is a radical one, put your coat on, walk to the front door, open it and go out to the shop

CountingCrows

C-4

Turd Ferguson

Use your Chuck Norris...

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Throw the tin in the fire... It will cook the contents and open the tin for you.

Delirium

The pull ring on the top of the tin.;)

Hauk

Have you got a pen knife? They usually have a tin opener on them.

Hauk

Jay P

Wine opener maybeh?

Smart Bug

Lash it into the microwave, 2 & a half hours should do *



*may have fatal consequences

adsgirl

Smart Bug wrote: »

Lash it into the microwave, 2 & a half hours should do *



*may have fatal consequences

Would have thought about a minute, 2 and a half hours in casualty maybe.

Agamemnon

Hacksaw it open or don't eat anything in a gesture of solidarity with our starving brothers and sisters all around this crazy, mixed-up planet Earth, maaaaaaaaaaaaannn.

adsgirl

Semtex..

Earthhorse

Tell it something shocking.

No wait, that's cans...

Smart Bug

Defenestrate it.

taidghbaby

eat some spinach and then squeeze the can popeye style!!

Earthhorse

taidghbaby wrote: »

eat some spinach and then squeeze the can popeye style!!

What if it's tinned spinach?

Turd Ferguson

Go back in time to seconds before it was sealed in the first place...

Turd Ferguson

Earthhorse wrote: »

What if it's tinned spinach?

Hmmm, yeah actually whats in the tin?

Earthhorse

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Hmmm, yeah actually whats in the tin?

Tin opening instructions. At a guess.

javaboy

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Hmmm, yeah actually whats in the tin?

Autographs from old jazz musicians. But what the hell was in the briefcase in Ronin?

orestes

javaboy wrote: »

Autographs from old jazz musicians. But what the hell was in the briefcase in Ronin?

Ask Scarlet Johansson, Bil Murray told her at the end of lost intranslation

Maximilian

Use a shark.

Earthhorse

javaboy wrote: »

Autographs from old jazz musicians. But what the hell was in the briefcase in Ronin?

orestes wrote: »

Ask Scarlet Johansson, Bil Murray told her at the end of lost intranslation

Rosebud.

Turd Ferguson

javaboy wrote: »

Autographs from old jazz musicians. But what the hell was in the briefcase in Ronin?

Ronin maybe?

And OP if that is true I'll swap you a Charles Mingus,a Count Bassie and a Sol Cambell for a Thelonius Monk if you have him...

Earthhorse

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

And OP if that is true I'll swap you a Charles Mingus,a Count Bassie and a Sol Cambell for a Thelonius Monk if you have him...

Don't do it Des, all those jazz musicians are dead and won't be of any use.

javaboy

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Ronin maybe?

And OP if that is true I'll swap you a Charles Mingus,a Count Bassie and a Sol Cambell for a Thelonius Monk if you have him...

I once got three David Batty stickers in the same pack.

Turd Ferguson

javaboy wrote: »

I once got three David Batty stickers in the same pack.

In one season I ended up with like 30 Sol Cambell stickers. There was one in every pack I got and sometimes 2...I cant stand the c*nt now because of it :mad:

stovelid

http://www.pizzahut.ie/

rhapsody!

Buy a new tinopener.

matchthis

Microwave your troubles away. Dinner and a light show:D

Captain Ginger

Sit on it fatty.