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Financial problems

  • 26-08-2008 1:50pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Where do i start. My wife had a baby a year ago. Due to health issues she didnt go back to work for a few months, atm she works 2 and a half days a week but its not enough. We are only scraping the surface, we pay or bills and mortgage every month and then thats it nothing left over. Our baby is thriving now and even my wife admits maybe it would be a good time to think about daycare as she gets on great with other kids. The problem is the mother in law who thinks my wife works enough even though we are having massive financial problems right now. This has caused rows between us as she keeps meddling in with her ideas. It has caused a alot of friction and tension. I have tried talking to the mother in law and she seems to get it but she is back to her old ways a few weeks later. I dont know what to do about it. We are digging ourselves deeper and deeper into debt. My parents back in ireland have been helping us out alot. I am not proud of this. I hate asking them for money and intend paying them back every cent. I have told my wife we are not asking them anymore as its just not right, they have their own worries and we should be able to stand on our own two feet. My wife just doesnt get it. This came to a surface and my wife and myself both agreed not to let both sets of parents dictate our lives. When it is just about us and the baby things are great then either her parents or mine do something and its like we are back to square one.


Comments

  • #2
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Is there anything you can sacrifice that might ease the burden? you're not telling us this while sky bumper pack is on the tv or anything are you? :)

    There are quite a few financial institutions designed to help people deal with money problems, MABS for example, can you get in touch with someone who could review your finances as is?


  • #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    You're not the guy over in America who has posted here before about the MIL from hell?

    First off, does your wife not get the fact ye are getting into serious debt and she needs to get back to work?
    You say she's not getting it, but, and I'm sorry to say this, is she a bit thick or what?

    Secondly, in no uncertain terms, I'd tell the MIL to back off or hand over a couple of grand if she wants her daughter to be a stay at home mother.

    Whatever country you are in, there must be some place you can go to get help with this?


  • #4
    LolaDub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭LolaDub


    You need to make a list of all your outgoings and income. Investigate childcare price and the extra income your wife working full time after tax etc would bring. Start looking at the things that you can cut out or lessen, ie bread at lidls instead of m&s etc (just an example). Agree you should try make an appointment with your wife and go to a financial crisis centre, maybe she'll understand the gravity of the situation then.


  • #5
    helimachoptor
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,693 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    Beruthiel wrote: »
    You're not the guy over in America who has posted here before about the MIL from hell?


    Exactly what I was thinking.

    Op as said above, can you downgrade a car or something to free up some cash? if you really need to take a part time job delivering pizzas for a while (not the ideal solution as you'll be away from the family)

    I can sympathise with you on the MIL, I'm not even married and I get a lot of grief from my MIL, thankfully we live far enough away from her and I rarely see her but she really annoys me. you can pick your partner but not their family. Be firm and tell her to keep her nose out. But if she's american she most likely will ignore this request.


  • #6
    mikewest
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 789 ✭✭✭mikewest


    Young family, no cash, backs to the wall eh? Nothing really new there almost anyone with a family can identify with that. Your wife has to acknowledge reality that her income is needed and she has to tell her mother to cop on and let her get on with her own life. Do out a budget and stick to it but make sure there is enough left in the budget for some little luxuries or perks because without these any budget will fail. Its surprising how much we all can save on our budgets when we have to e.g. have a cup of coffee at home rather than buy one on the way to work that would save €9 per week for me, but then again that is one of my allowed luxuries to stop me giving up the will to live entirely.

    The truth of the matter is for most people this is probably the most financialy challenging time of their lives because there is extra expense and reduced money so most of the old luxuries have to go and the money has to be used for nappies to be filled ****. This will pass and will pass easier if both parties take responsibility for the financials.


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  • #7
    wasper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 419 ✭✭wasper


    worried_ wrote: »
    Where do i start. My wife had a baby a year ago. Due to health issues she didnt go back to work for a few months, atm she works 2 and a half days a week but its not enough. We are only scraping the surface, we pay or bills and mortgage every month and then thats it nothing left over. Our baby is thriving now and even my wife admits maybe it would be a good time to think about daycare as she gets on great with other kids. The problem is the mother in law who thinks my wife works enough even though we are having massive financial problems right now. This has caused rows between us as she keeps meddling in with her ideas. It has caused a alot of friction and tension. I have tried talking to the mother in law and she seems to get it but she is back to her old ways a few weeks later. I dont know what to do about it. We are digging ourselves deeper and deeper into debt. My parents back in ireland have been helping us out alot. I am not proud of this. I hate asking them for money and intend paying them back every cent. I have told my wife we are not asking them anymore as its just not right, they have their own worries and we should be able to stand on our own two feet. My wife just doesnt get it. This came to a surface and my wife and myself both agreed not to let both sets of parents dictate our lives. When it is just about us and the baby things are great then either her parents or mine do something and its like we are back to square one.
    My mother will not dare to meddle in my life. She doesn't do it but if she ever think of it , I will be very firm with her.
    I think your wife should take stand with her mother. First of all she should try & ask her for a loan. See how long before she will stop telling her not to work. People usually get the message when it is going to hit them in the pocket. Try this approach.


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