How do you know the relationship is over?

LegacyUser

I just want peoples opinions on this - particulary those of you who have been in long term realtionships

How do you know when your at the end of your relationship? I have been unhappy the last 3mths with my beau due to circumstances over the last year (he was out of work and it put a huge strain on th relationship)

I wont go into too much detail as he may be reading this.

I dont know if I still want to be with him but at the same time I dont wat to waste all that time Ive speant with him. I think I still love him but I dont know is that just because of familiarity??

Im actually getting butterfilies thinking about this.... Im so confused? My friends have been telling me I should just break up - but this is easy for them to say as non of them have had a serious relationship and know whats its like. There are no kids involved or anything like that.


We had a talk about 3wks ago and I told him I was unhappy but when he suggested the break up I said no and that I will work harder to make the relationship work... but know I dont know if I want it to work???

Sorry if my post doesnt make much sense... but just typing this is easing the pressure I have felt the last 3mths.

So to repeat my question - how or when do you know for certain that your relationship is over??

Kiera

Sometimes you just know you're flogging a dead horse. Its extreamly hard to leave a long term relationship as you have invested so much time in it BUT you need to think about the future.

Do you think maybe you are just stuck in a rut?

Fat Pie Lot

It will vary from person to person.

I think it's a matter of asking yourself some questions and seeing what the answers are.

You say you're prepared to work at the relationship. Is this because you think it can be saved or because you don't want to end it?

Is your OH prepared to work at it, in order to make it better? It will require work from both parties, I think, in order to make things better.

Are the obstacles to a happy relationship something that can be changed by you or your OH? Is the relationship salvageable? If not, then there's no point in flogging a dead horse.

LegacyUser

Maybe it is just a rut... I dont know... thats why Im so confused. I feel like I dont know what I want.
He's a great guy but I just feel like ... I dont know... I feel like we're heading in different directions. Ive just started a new career. He's not supporting. I dont feel like he has any ambition... and the fact that he quit his job and wasnt working has made me feel like there is no security in the relationship. He is back working now but that lack of security hasnt changed.

Alot of the uncertainty is on my end. I know he still loves me and wants to be with me... but I guess un the past year |Ive been gradually distancing myself and tbh I dont think I can reverse that.

I think it will be end... thanks for the replies guys

MugMugs

Sounds like your mind has been made up for some time now....

G'luck

That_Guy

I was on the receiving end of a break up and it's not a nice feeling.

Weigh out the pros and cons about the relationship. Just don't leave it ongoing.
If you feel the need to end it then do it as soon as possible because it's not fair to play with others hearts in this way especially if you have particulary strong feelings for each other.

Trinity

Most grown ups dont agree with having breaks but how else are you to know?

Ask yourself where you want to be in a year, two years, 5 years. Is he included in these plans, dreams etc?