relationship advice

LegacyUser

I really love my partner, we are together just over a year. He is quite religious and I respect that. We don't sleep together and I don't have any issues with it. I would never try to make him do something he didn't want to. However, although I do believe in God and
pray, I am not quite as religious as he is. I've attended his Church services but I just didn't feel comfortable enough and I couldn't get into it even though I sometimes wanted to (He is a Christian, I am of RC background).

I feel so guilty posting this because to me it seems quite selfish, and he is amazing and treats me very very well. But I'm afraid that in the longterm it would eventually drive us apart especially regarding eventual marriage and being a family etc.

Has anyone being in this situation before?

Grawns

I don't believe in God and dislike all religions, my husband does believe in God. Never been an issue for us as to him religion is a private thing rather than a church thing ( he was raised baptist ). We discussed all this early in our relationship. I have agreed that our childrens religous education is in his hands and I won't undermine him. ( he can bring them to unitarian services with my approval and I will even attend)


Just try to put yourself in your boyfriends shoes, what do you think you would do in the long run? ( Possibly spend the rest of your life trying to convert him, or leave him for someone of similiar beliefs and background to yourself). I think you should talk to him about it as these are things that will cause problems in the long run.

Splendour

unreg__girl wrote: »

I really love my partner, we are together just over a year. He is quite religious and I respect that. We don't sleep together and I don't have any issues with it. I would never try to make him do something he didn't want to. However, although I do believe in God and
pray, I am not quite as religious as he is. I've attended his Church services but I just didn't feel comfortable enough and I couldn't get into it even though I sometimes wanted to (He is a Christian, I am of RC background).

I feel so guilty posting this because to me it seems quite selfish, and he is amazing and treats me very very well. But I'm afraid that in the longterm it would eventually drive us apart especially regarding eventual marriage and being a family etc.

Has anyone being in this situation before?

I'm afraid unreg_girl it possibly will drive you apart. Though in Grawns case this doesn't seem to have happened. Christianity isn't just a 'religious' thing but a whole way of life and thinking and it's much more than attending church on sundays. It is a reliance on and trusting in God in all matters. Therefore, your boyfriend will view life differently from how the world sees things.

Have you discussed this with your boyfriend and related your fears to him? And by the way, you're absolutely not being selfish- in fact quite the opposite given your posting this in the first place!

Going to his church is good but only if you're doing it for your own benefit. If it weren't for him would you attend? Going to church won't make you a Christian anyway!!

Good place to start though if you are interested in Christianity would be an Alpha Course. This is an introduction to Christianity (with no strings attached) conducted in a very relaxed environmment. I'm sure your boyfriend will have heard of this, or if you want to pm me I can find of one in your area.

God bless

RedXIV

I'm the same as Grawns, i distrust most major religions, the amount of blood spilt over differences in belief, none of which can be proven (no offence to any believing types here) is ridiculous. So I have no interest in religion whatsoever. The polar opposite of my dad but i'd still respect the man just as much. He knows my stance, i know his, we don't push each others buttons and don't press each others beliefs. I realise its not quite the same but you need to reach an accomodation between the two of you. The only problem i can forsee is that he may see this lack of religious devotion as a failing. It sounds shallow but can happen. I will however wish you the best

Red

LegacyUser

unreg__girl wrote: »

I really love my partner, we are together just over a year. He is quite religious and I respect that. We don't sleep together and I don't have any issues with it. I would never try to make him do something he didn't want to. However, although I do believe in God and
pray, I am not quite as religious as he is. I've attended his Church services but I just didn't feel comfortable enough and I couldn't get into it even though I sometimes wanted to (He is a Christian, I am of RC background).

I feel so guilty posting this because to me it seems quite selfish, and he is amazing and treats me very very well. But I'm afraid that in the longterm it would eventually drive us apart especially regarding eventual marriage and being a family etc.

Has anyone being in this situation before?

I am going unreg too for this.......

I was in a very similar situation a few months back. I was with my bf for a year and he was extremely religious and I wasnt practicing. We are both RC. In the begining we both knew this about each other and like your bf he didnt believe in sex before marrige and i didnt push the issue like you i didnt want him doing something that he would regret and I respected him too much. He was wonderful apart from the religion thing we got on amazingly liked to do the same things, laughed all the time. It was wonderful, as time went on I began to fall for him he was crazy about me too but every now and then it was like there was a huge white elephant in the room......religion! In the end thats what broke us up. I was willing to see past it but he couldnt. He said it was against his religion and beliefs, he could not be with some one who was not religious like him and not matter what he could not get past that. I tried in vain to rationalise it with him but it was no use.

Suppose what I am trying to say is that it possibly will drive you apart if there are issues there that either of you cannot see past or agree on then unfortunately it will. I hope you for both it will be different because i wouldnt wish this on anyone.